Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

The value of pain

“There will be a time, not so far from now, that you will look back on this phase of your life and instead of condemning it or beating up on it… instead of blaming or guilting, you will feel appreciation for it, because you will understand that a renewed desire for life was born out of this time period that will bring you to physical heights that you could not have achieved without the contrast that gave birth to this desire.”

– Abraham-Hicks

Excerpted from the workshop in Boston, MA on Saturday, October 4th, 1997.
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Every topic has an “unwanted” and a “wanted” – for example, when you see someone being rude (unwanted), you desire to see kind people (wanted), when you see poverty (unwanted), you desire to see prosperity (wanted), when you see illness (unwanted), there is a desire born within to see good health (wanted)….

Therefore, even though contrast (i.e. the presence of unwanted and wanted) may be painful but it has value as it helps you clarify your desires (i.e. what you want) in a much more stronger, sharper and clearer way than before that contrast and when you allow your desires, you allow yourself to grow into newer places – a more healthier you, a more prosperous you, you allow more of the kind of people you like in your life, a more vibrant you, a more energetic you…. If we were happy “100% of the time”, chances are the we won’t feel the desire for more, the desire to expand beyond where we are. Of course, the practice here is to focus as easily as you can, as per your path of least resistance, on the desire which life has helped inspire within you (out of that contrast) and therefore allow it. The practice here is pivoting to the desire which has been born within you because of the contrast and thereby, allowing it to manifest in your physical reality easily and in its full potential.

If you are going through contrast and feeling negative emotion (esp. in the initial stages of giving birth to the desire to see/live what you want), a few things can facilitate the ease you so want to feel – firstly, knowing that it’s okay to feel negative emotion. You are human and being kind towards yourself has value. Negative emotion is part of the inner guidance you were born with. All it’s doing is telling you that you have given birth to a desire and in the moments in which you are feeling negative emotion, you are not a match to your desire. What this means is that you want your desire because you believe that you will feel positive emotions when you manifest your desire but in the moments when you are feeling negative emotion, you are not feeling what your desire feels like, what you believe your desire will make you feel once it manifests in your physical reality and therefore, the negative emotion is telling you that as of that moment, you are not a match to your desire. There is a separation between you and your desire, vibrationally in the moments of negative emotion, however justified the negative emotion may be. You may be right but you are not happy and happy is what you want to be (that is why you want what you desire…it is that feeling that you are targeting through your desire).

The law of attraction states – “like attracts like” which means you got to feel what your desire will make you feel once it manifests in order for it to manifest easily. The part which requires a little effort initially is to feel the same or similar feelings as that of one’s desire even though it has not yet manifested. The good news is that you can.

As per your unique path of least resistance, whenever you feel ready, you can do things which make you feel good (which, as written earlier, is the also the reason you want your desire i.e. to feel good). If you can focus on your desire and feel good, that’s great but for many people, this may be difficult esp. in the initial stages which is pretty understandable. We are all human and its of value to be kind towards ourselves. A suggestion here is that if you can’t go specific, go general i.e. focus on topics which may not be connected to the topic of your specific desire but are easy for you to feel good about. These can be – meditating, indulging in a hobby, thinking about pleasant memories, taking a walk next to nature, getting a relaxing massage, having a warm relaxing bath, talking with a trustworthy and supportive friend etc – something which resonates with you and hence is easy for you to do and makes you feel good. Once you are feeling good consistently and predominantly, chances are high that you will be able to focus on the specific topic of your desire in a way that makes you feel better about it – i.e. now you are being a match to your desire.

I must share that many times, as you go general, you will allow the specific desire that you have to manifest in your physical reality even though you were not focusing specifically on it. This happens because just by feeling good (in general and ways that are easy for you), you became a match to your desire but just in case, it hasn’t yet manifested even though you are practicing your positive feeling thoughts throughout the day every day, chances are high that at some point (as per your unique and beautiful path of least resistance), you would be feeling ready to go specific and find things to feel good about in that specific situation/contrast of yours, thereby being a match to the desire within you. How much time will it take to become a match depends on two things – what is happening within you vibrationally and how committed you are to feeling good everyday throughout the day.

In all this, it is of value to remember these words from Abraham-Hicks – “you will never get it done and you cannot get it wrong”. You will always be giving birth or amending desires. It’s an eternal journey and it’s also unique with no right or wrong. Each one of us is eternal consciousness and in this eternal, ever expanding and boundaryless universe, each one of us has our own beautiful and individual journey. Knowing that this process will always be there (i.e. giving birth to desires) can help in your allowing ease for yourself along the journey, in making peace with what gives you pain, in enjoying the journey to allowing all that life has helped inspiring within you and therefore taking you further beyond where you were earlier to the contrast. We cannot help but grow into more, the question is – are you going to go along with your growth (by being a match to it, vibrationally) or are you going to keep yourself apart from your own growth/desire?

Also knowing that it is contrast which helps you to grow and expand further beyond where you have been before that contrast (and therefore, has value) helps to find thoughts of relief about it, whenever you are ready to. An example here – the desire for good health is stronger in a person after he has been sick as compared to before that sickness. As he allows his desire, coming out of this contrast, by being a match to it, he manifests even better health levels in his life. Now even science is recognizing the mind-body connection, something that healers across centuries have known.

A question can arise here – What are you expanding into? To answer this question, I am sharing yet another Abraham-Hicks quote below –

“Do you understand that what you’re creating is YOU?
You’re not creating money, you’re creating a more prosperous YOU.
You’re creating a more abundant YOU.
You’re creating a YOU with greater ease. You’re creating a YOU with greater opportunity.
You’re creating a YOU with greater opportunity for more fun. It’s YOU. You are the expander of YOU.
You are the creator of YOU, you see.”

Out of the very situation which is painful, something which pleases you will come out and you will be able to experience it with your physical senses when you allow it by being a match to it. In the moments of pain, you may not be able to see what good will come out if it but knowing that this is the way the creation (and allowing) of life experiences happens helps in finding thoughts of ease, as and when you feel ready to, which further helps in allowing your growth, your expansion into more.

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Forgiveness is a gift from your side to you

“Today I decided to forgive you. Not because you apologized, or because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me, but because my soul deserves peace.”

– Najwa Zebian


What is forgiveness? Forgiveness, in very simple words, is when you decide to let go of the pain and be the joyful, appreciative and loving person that you actually are. When you forgive, you are not saying that the act committed (or the series of acts committed) are justified or okay. They never will be.

When you forgive, you are letting go of all the anger, the pain and the resentment and thereby, allowing in the joy, the appreciation, the love that you so want to feel. Don’t you like it when you are in joy? Don’t you feel good when you find yourself appreciating things/people/places/experiences? Don’t you find love such a wonderful feeling? The answer to these questions is yes and you do that because that’s who you are, that’s who your inner self is. When you hold yourself in anger (however justified it may be), you are far away from your true inner self and you feel pain in that separation. You don’t like it but it’s so difficult to let go as the resentment feels so justified.

Yes, forgiveness can be difficult but living in anger, resentment, pain, hatred every time you think about it – isn’t that difficult too?

You may decide to continue the relationship or continue the relationship and also reach out for help or you may decide to either temporarily or permanently end the relationship and firstly get to a place where you feel safe … – whatever you choose as per what gives you the most relief (i.e. as per your path of least resistance which only you know), what is more important is what you feel within.

Forgiveness means letting go of the pain, the anger and the resentment in your heart and feeling the relief that you so much want to feel. Forgiveness means looking at the situation, whenever you feel ready to, in a way which makes you feel relief and therefore, closer to the ease you want to feel. Forgiveness is your gift to yourself.

“Forgive because you deserve it.”

― Abraham-Hicks

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The most important relationship is between you and you

“The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.”

– Diane Von Furstenberg


Loving yourself, nurturing yourself & supporting yourself has immense value for you and for those that you want to be of value to

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Love yourself

“I love myself exactly as I am. I no longer wait to be perfect in order to love myself.”

– Louise Hay


You may have a desire to introduce changes in your life and you can choose to introduce them with love in your heart for yourself, your life, your body, your essence…. when you are loving, kind and gentle with yourself, the journey to where you want to be becomes so much more easier.


“You are perfect as you are and ever-expanding into more”.

– Abraham-Hicks

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Loving yourself

Photo credit – Clem Onojeghuo via unsplash.com

“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either.” – Mandy Hale


The above words could sound a little harsh but they do point to something of tremendous value – the importance of loving yourself.

Instead of looking at others to love you (who may or may not have the ability to offer love and appreciation for you at that point), you can always choose to focus your own loving gaze on yourself 🙂 …..and when you do so predominantly and consistently, you allow the law of attraction to match you up more and more with people who also appreciate you just the way you do and if you do meet someone who does not, it would not matter to you (as much as it may have before you initiated loving yourself everyday) as you, in any case, have reconnected to that genuine love and appreciation for yourself (even before meeting that person). From this place of love and strength, it’s easier to feel good, no matter what and even when you are not in this place of love, chances are high that because of the place of love and strength you are in predominantly and consistently, you will be able to be kind to yourself and be able to easily and gently guide and soothe yourself back, when ready, to the place of feeling good again. You will be living more and more moments on an everyday basis where you are feeling joy, love, appreciation, worthy and free…. – a beautiful place to be in.

Loving yourself may seem like an effort initially but as you go along, it gets easier. It’s like learning a new skill. Yes, it does require every day practice esp. initially. In the initial days, sometimes it may be easy and sometimes, it may not and that is okay. When a baby learns to walk, it does not start running the very first time. Learning to love yourself again is like that. The suggestion is to be kind and gentle with yourself while on this beautiful journey. Knowing that it’s an eternal journey helps in feeling ease more often.

Many times, one may find that unconditional happiness is an easier place to start feeling than unconditional love and that is also okay. In fact, first practicing unconditional happiness and then when ready, as per your beautiful and unique path of least resistance including unconditional love in your daily practice has higher chances of making the process easier.

Louise Hay has said that loving yourself is not vanity or arrogance as that is always from a place of fear….loving yourself means genuinely appreciation the unique and beautiful expression of life that you are. The universe is expressing itself through you. Sharing a quote by Rumi – “Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion”. Carl Sagan has written in his book, Cosmos – ““The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” You are part of this boundaryless, ever-expanding universe. You are so much more than what you can see with your eyes. You are magnificent, just like the universe of which you are a part, a beautiful and unique part.

When you nurture, love and support yourself, when you honor the magnificent creation of life that you are, when you do what makes your heart sing, when you think thoughts that give you relief and help you feel better – in other words, when you practice unconditional happiness and unconditional love, you reconnect to your freedom and to your power. From this place of love and strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.

At the end, sharing a simple, deep, profound and empowering quote by Abraham-Hicks –

“The greatest thing you can give yourself is freedom from what others think.”

The power of now

 

“Your life is right now! It’s not later! It’s not in that time of retirement. It’s not when the lover gets here. It’s not when you’ve moved into the new house. It’s not when you get the better job. Your life is right now. It will always be right now. You might as well decide to start enjoying your life right now, because it’s not ever going to get better than right now-until it gets better right now!”

-Abraham Hicks

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When you say that I am going to be happy only when the kind of lover I want comes or only when I retire or only when I get what I desire, can you see how much you are curtailing/disallowing the joyful moments in your life? If you can find a way to be easy, to be kinder to yourself, to allow moments on a daily basis where you are feeling better, can you imagine how much more joy would be there in your journey? And one of the wonderful things about this (ie feeling good even though what you want hasn’t manifested yet) is that you allow the law of attraction to match you up with what you want “easily” and “in its full potential”. Feeling good in the “now” has tremendous value 🙂

You may want to have these as your everyday, predominant and consistent thoughts – I am going to be easy with myself. Whenever I am not being not being easy with myself and I become aware of what I am doing, I will try and remind myself that it’s okay, I am human….just like the ocean, I have ebb and flow too. In moments like this, I will gently guide myself through my path of least resistance to what is easy for me to feel good about, to topics I find easy to appreciate, to thoughts that make me feel better. I am going to be more kinder and gentler with myself. I am going to be nicer to myself. I am going to have way more fun. I am going to love myself much more everyday 🙂

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It feels so good when you start loving yourself

What if you simply committed yourself to loving yourself more this year?

Allowing more feel-good moments on a daily basis, moments which find you feeling ease, moments where you have a spring in your step, moments which make you feel happy to be alive, which help in you in feeling good more often. From this place of strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to those that you would want to be of value to.

In all this, the suggestion is to distract yourself from negative feeling thoughts by pivoting to topics which are easy for you to feel good about and most important, being easy with yourself when you find yourself not being able to distract yourself. You are human and it’s okay if you have moments of negative emotion. You don’t like them as you find them painful and you like feeling positive emotion because that is your essence – pure positive energy. It’s a practice, it’s a moment to moment choice on a daily basis. Even for people who feel ecstasy on a rather regular basis, it’s a choice in any moment.

Of course, it gets easier as you practice but yes, it is a practice for all of us. We all have our own beautiful unique individual journeys, we are all ever-expanding into more, we are all a work-in progress and keeping this in mind helps in feeling ease wherever you are in your beautiful journey. This ease you feel helps in making it easy for you to be matched up by the law of attraction with the full potential of what you want as per your unique path of least resistance and it also makes the journey to what you want filled with more and more feel-good moments. You enjoy the destination so much more when you arrive and you also enjoy the journey, predominantly and consistently. This is not the only way to allow your desires in life but it is an easy and effective way.

“We are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings immersed in a human experience.”

– Wayne Dyer

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Affirming a great 2019 for everyone. Happy New Year! 🙂

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You are magnificent

 

“Don’t you know yet? It is your light that lights the world.”

– Rumi
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Yes, it does happen that in a moment when we choose to focus in a way that makes it easy for us to feel negative emotion, we have chosen to separate ourselves from who we truly are (the good news being that whenever we want to and feel ready to, we can reconnect back to who we are…and this place of readiness can be different for different people as we all have our own, beautiful, individual and unique journeys) but this decision/choice to separate ourselves from who we truly are in a particular moment in no way takes away from who we truly are i.e. pure positive energy. Our essence, our being, our core is ever-expanding, infinite, eternal, pure positive energy and that is why we love feeling positive emotions.

Negative emotion has value (as it helps us give birth to desires and/or amend our desires) but it is our positive-feeling moments that we love feeling – love, appreciation, worthy, free, empowered, joy, optimism, hope, passion, eager, happiness and other positive emotions. Whatever it is that we want – a more nurturing relationship, health, money, a promotion at work, starting a new venture, buying a new house, a bigger car etc. – we believe that we will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that we are targeting – the positive emotion because that is our essence and we love moments in which we are aligned with who we are, in which we are feeling our essence.

Whenever we choose to separate ourselves from who we truly are and we choose not to reconnect, we don’t like that separation (even in situations where we may like it initially like anger as compared to despair feels more powerful but if you get stuck in anger, you don’t like it after sometime) as we feel the call of our core, our being, our essence as we are not in alignment as of that point. Whenever we feel ready to, we can always pivot in ways which are easy for us (our unique and beautiful path of least resistance) to focus on positive feeling thoughts, on thoughts which give us relief, on thoughts which make us smile, on thoughts which make us feel better from where we are. As we practice our good-feeling place/vibrations/thoughts every day throughout the day, in this place of positive emotions, we are either in alignment or in the vicinity of that alignment with who we truly are, predominantly and consistently. This vibrational place of alignment is what we love as in that alignment, we are home. From this place of strength, we are of so much more value to ourselves and to anyone else that we would like to be of value to.

“You are magnificent. Please know this.”

– Anita Moorjani

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Affirming more and more moments of appreciation and thanksgiving for everyone 🙂

“I’m going to be happy. I’m going to skip. I’m going to be glad. I’m going to smile a lot. I’m going to be easy. I’m going to count my blessings. I’m going to look for reasons to feel good. I’m going to dig up positive things from the past. I’m going to look for positive things where I stand. I’m going to look for positive things in the future. It is my natural state to be a happy person. It’s natural for me to love and to laugh. This is what is most natural for me. I am a happy person!”

– Abraham-Hicks

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Feeling relief when in fear

What fear is …..is a feeling I have when I am holding a desire in my conscious attention and a belief that contradicts it in the same moment.

– Abraham-Hicks
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Examples of the above – desiring financial prosperity and believing that it will be difficult for you to get it or desiring a recovery from a particular illness and having a belief that the recovery you desire is rare and difficult. Basically, fear is the negative emotion (or one of the negative emotions) that you feel when you think the thought – “I can’t have what I want.”

The good news is that if you want and if you feel ready to, you can change your beliefs in order to align them with your desires as per your path of least resistance 🙂

You do that by soothing yourself thought by thought, moment by moment, as per your own beautiful, unique and individual pace whenever you feel ready to do so. Initially distracting yourself to topics which are easy for you to appreciate helps in feeling relief more often and then from this place of relief and strength, if one wants and feels ready to, one can soothe oneself on the topic one feels fear on.

Of course, pre-paving on a daily basis helps in not only reducing the frequency of life experiences which have the potential for you to choose fear but it also reduces the intensity of the fear that you feel when in them and hence helps in your regaining your balance easily as compared to before you started pre-paving. Pre-paving means allowing more feel-good moments (i.e. moments in which you are feeling relief, moments in which you are feeling good, moments in which you have a spring in your step, moments in which you have a song in your heart, moments in which you are relaxed, positive emotion feeling moments…) and as you do so predominantly and consistently, you develop vibrational muscles, you develop sea legs, you develop good shock absorbers in life. The action you feel inspired to from this place of strength is so much more than from a place of lack. This is not the only way to react to fear but it is an easy and effective way.

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“When you fear anything, don’t take the next step or do something you’re afraid to do. There are a lot of people that will say: “Oh just push through it, and when you push through it, then you’ll get over being afraid of it.”

And we encourage you to do instead is to come into alignment with what you want first by finding the thoughts that feel good, because fear is there for a reason.

The fear is saying: “there’s resistance within you, that is going to attract some of what you want and some of what you don’t want.

Why not clean it up before you take action?

-Abraham-Hicks

 

Bless you fear, thank you for pointing out that I just blocked something that I want, with a bogus habit of thought, that doesn’t apply and has no relevance to where I am now and where I’m going. THAT’S the nugget we’ve been reaching for, that’s the taking thought beyond which it has been before, that’s why we want you to make peace with your negative emotion, that’s why we want you to understand what it is, that’s why we want you to stop standing in a place being mad at yourself or someone else, feeling negative emotion.

Bless you fear. You’re reminding me that I’ve got some vibrational work to do. You’re not here to remind me that I can’t have what I want, you’re just here to remind me that I’m not ready for what I want yet.

Thank you negative emotion for reminding me of amplifying the thought, that there is something that I keenly want, to which I’m not in the vibrational vicinity of, but I have the ability to close that Gap with a little bit of effort.”

– Abraham-Hicks

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