“Almost from the beginning you were thrust into an environment of comparison, cataloging, pigeonholing.

Your parents did it.

The society does it.

You were measured and weighed and the number of hairs on your head were counted. And as you began your process of school you were pigeonholed and compared. So almost all of you learned the opposite of appreciation of self.”

– Abraham

The above quote is shared from the wonderful blog – joypassiondesire.


This is not to blame anyone or to justify anything. It is just to understand why we tend to be hard on ourselves. The others were doing the best they could according to their knowledge and understanding but as the adults that we are now, we can choose to let go and be easy on ourselves.

The reason you may like to let go and be easy on yourself is because of the negative emotion you feel when you compare yourself with others. Every time you compare yourself with anyone else and instead of feeling a positive emotion, you feel negative emotion – you feel that negative emotion because you feel a lack of something (that you like) in you and the presence of that in the other person. You are focused on the situation from a place of lack.

The negative emotion that you are feeling because of the thoughts of lack that you are thinking is telling you that the way you feel about yourself and the way your soul (or inner being or inner self or universe or source energy or infinite intelligence) feels about you are different. Your soul is pure positive energy and that is who you are. That is why you love feeling positive emotions. Anything that you want (a better job, a more nurturing relationship, better health, bigger car etc) is because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. It is that positive emotion that you are targeting.

Your soul looks at you and always feels love and whenever you will look at yourself and feel anything about than positive emotion, you will feel the discord between you and you (you and your inner being or in other words, between the physical you and the non-physical you). That negative emotion is your “indicator” of the stretching or separation between you and you. All you have to do is look in the direction of something which is easy for you to appreciate (could be a pet or a small child or a fond memory or a person you find easy to love etc) and when feeling better and stronger consistently and predominantly, you may choose to look at yourself and focus on the pure positive energy that you are. Chances are high that because of the place of strength that you are in predominantly and consistently, you will be able to look at yourself and find many things to appreciate. You will then through the power of your focus be able to align you and you and feel good. In other words, whenever you are feeling good, you are aligned with who you are…i.e. you are looking at something and feeling what your inner being feels about it. Until and unless you reach this alignment (on any topic that you want to feel better about), you cannot feel good. The good news is that you can reach it.


Photo credit – Christopher Sardegna via unsplash.com