Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: being our own best friend

How can I love myself?

Sharing a beautiful article by Louise Hay on loving ourselves in 12 ways. This article sheds light on a topic which many find difficult to fathom – “how to” love ourselves.

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daisy-heart-flowers-flower-heart - Pexels - pixabay.com

12 Ways You Can Love Yourself Now

Learn helpful tips for self-love.

– By Louise Hay

I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.

Loving yourself is a wonderful adventure; it’s like learning to fly. Imagine if we all had the power to fly at will? How exciting it would be! Let’s begin to love ourselves now.

Here are 12 Commandments to help you learn how to love yourself:

  1. Stop All Criticism.

Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

  1. Forgive Yourself.

Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.

  1. Don’t Scare Yourself.

Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

  1. Be Gentle and Kind and Patient.

Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

  1. Be Kind to Your Mind.

Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

  1. Praise Yourself.

Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

  1. Support Yourself.

Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

  1. Be Loving to Your Negatives.

Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

  1. Take Care of Your Body.

Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

  1. Do Mirror Work.

Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say, I love you, I really love you!

  1. Love Yourself . . . Do It Now.

Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now—and do the best you can.

  1. Have Fun.

Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!

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Photo credit – pixabay.com via pexels.com

The value of being selfish

Jerry: So, there’s nothing wrong with taking “the coward’s way out”?

Abraham: There are many people who override their own guidance system by trying to please others, and there are many people who will call you “selfish” or “cowardly” when you have the audacity to please yourself rather than them. Often others will call you “selfish” (because you are unwilling to yield to their own selfishness) without realizing the hypocrisy of their demand.

Sometimes, we are accused of teaching selfishness, and we admit that it is true because if you are not selfish enough to tend to your own vibration and therefore hold yourself in alignment with your source (and with-you-really-are), then you have nothing to give to another anyway. When others call you “selfish” or “cowardly,” their own vibrations are clearly out of balance, and a modification of your behavior will not bring them into balance.

flowers among rocky mountains - Ales Krivec

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And even if it does bring them into balance, it will be very temporary. After some time, they will again demand a modification of your behavior in order to feel good. As you continue doing so, you will do them a big disservice as you will teach them to depend on someone else for their happiness whereas they (just like you) have the ability to feel good by focusing on topics in a way which feels good (i.e. everyone can feel good on their own). You will also observe that as you continue modifying your behavior in order to make them happy, their demands keep increasing and as you keep meeting their increasing demands, you start resenting the very relationship you wanted to be of value to. Now you have nothing to give firstly to yourself and also to those that you wanted to give to, as you are now in a place of lack rather than a place of strength.

The only thing which is of value is to focus on good feeling thoughts yourself and when you are predominantly and consistently feeling good, the law of attraction will surround you with experiences who make you feel the same i.e. feel good. Usually, it happens that we feel when we are surrounded by experiences which make it easy for us to feel better. Yes, you do feel better easily if your reality is what you want it to be but the way you create your experiences is by first feeling good yourself even though the experiences you want have not manifested yet.

Thankfully, there are ways to feel good even if you are not living the reality you want. You can nap, you can take a walk next to nature, you can meditate, you can play with your child, you can have a relaxing warm bath, you can appreciate something which is easy for you to appreciate, you can talk to a supportive and trustworthy friend, you can indulge in a hobby etc. As you create more and more feel good moments through these general ways on an every day basis, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with the kind of experiences you want. That is when we start leveraging the power of the universe. That is when people look and say – “it’s a miracle” or that “she/he is lucky” but what you are doing is not unconscious creating; it is deliberate creation at its best. In addition, because now that you are deliberating creating, you can replicate the process in any area of your life wherein you want to change the results. It starts with being selfish enough to use any excuse in order to feel good predominantly and consistently, no matter what your reality is.

The law of attraction states “that which is like unto itself, is drawn” i.e. what you think and therefore feel, attracts more to feel the same. It’s a powerful law just like the law of gravity. We understand the law of gravity and use our knowledge about it to make our lives easier. We can do the same with the law of attraction too.

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Photo credit – Ales Krivec via unsplash.com