Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: create (Page 2 of 3)

You can choose to focus on what is coming

Cyclist - Rikki Chan - unsplash

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”

– Carl Bard

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Photo credit – Rikki Chan via unsplash.com

I’am going to be happy – no matter what

pexels-laughing child indian - Surajith S.

 

“We are really advocates of just getting as happy as you can be — which takes care of everything.

Even if you don’t have reason to be happy — make it up. Fantasize it.

Make a decision that you’re going to be happy one way or another — no matter what.

No matter what, I’m going to be happy! If I have to ignore everybody;

if I have to never watch television again;

if I have to never pick up a newspaper again, I’m going to be happy.

If I never have to see that person’s face again, I’m going to be happy.

If I have to see that person’s face, I’m going to find something to see in that person’s face that makes me happy.

I’m going to be happy.

I’m going to be happy.

I’m going to be happy.”

– Abraham Hicks

(the above words by Abraham have been shared from the blog joypassiondesire)

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Off course, the “inner work” is to reach a point wherein no matter what your physical reality is, you feel happy but if you are not able to feel happy while in your current physical reality, then are you supposed to tolerate your negative emotions till you wither away?

No! You can get some distance between that which pains you and you. In that time and space that you get, you can sharpen your focus till the time you are able to focus on any topic (even if it was painful to you earlier) and find something in it to feel better about it (it can be but need not be enthusiastically happy…. just feeling better is awesome too while on your path to feeling good about it) i.e. you achieve stability in your good feeling thoughts. As you do that, you reconnect to your invincibility, to your freedom. The power which creates worlds flows through you. In fact, it is you.

Yes, sometimes, because of the way we are focused on a situation, we cannot feel positive emotion. There is nothing wrong in it. We are human and we need to be easy on ourselves. Negative emotion always tells us that we have grown but have not gone ahead with our growth. Whenever we feel upto it, we can change the way we are focused on it and thereby taste true freedom – i.e. free to feel whatever emotion we want to feel irrespective of what is happening around us. Sometimes, choosing to distance oneself from what is painful helps in reaching this place of strength and therefore, is the path of least resistance (it need not be but sometimes, it is and only you know that by the way you feel about it). From this place of strength, we are of value to ourselves and to anyone else we may want to be of value to.

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Photo credit – Surajith S via pexels.com

Standing up for yourself

woman - Patrick Fore - unsplash

“Standing up for yourself isn’t about changing the other person. It’s about honoring your self worth.”

– Assertiveness for earth angels

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At times, you may choose to stand up for yourself verbally by being assertive (i.e. being polite and firm at the same time) but it’s helpful to keep in mind that you are always standing up for yourself vibrationally or at a visceral level. What you are feeling gets you more to feel the same. If you do not like the life experiences you are living, you may choose to stand up for yourself verbally in the short term but the long term and more effective way is to focus on what you are feeling most of the time as that is standing up for yourself on a much deeper level.  That is the signal you are emitting to the universe and that’s the signal the law of attraction is matching you up with all the time. You may choose to stand up for yourself with your words in the present moment and sometimes, it may be the path of least resistance in the moment but whenever you are in the privacy of your room wherein you can think without much distraction, you can choose to focus in a way which makes you feel better more often and as you feel better more often, you get more to feel even more better about. That’s how you start standing up for yourself vibrationally so that you do not enter many situations wherein you would need to stand up for yourself verbally. It’s being proactive rather than reactive. It’s living life easy. The more easy way is also the most effective way.

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Photo credit – Patrick Fore via unsplash.com

Say no!

Just say no

‘Life is not fair’

‘Why should you have what you want? Do you think you are special?’

‘Life sucks’

‘You need to be open to criticism’

‘You need to face reality. Don’t think that you are too good because you are not.” etc…..

Many of us have heard one or some or all or similar to the above statements as we have grown up. Whenever someone hears a statement like the ones above, he feels negative emotion. That negative emotion is evidence that the statement does not resonate with his inner core . Whenever someone praises us, we feel good and we thrive. That positive emotion is evidence that we agree with the praise, that the praise resonates with our inner core or in other words, we know deep within that we are pure positive energy and when we hear words which point to the essence of who we are, we feel good. That positive emotion is the evidence that we have heard something that we feel resonance with, that we know the “truth” of.

This quote from Abraham below is like a breath of fresh air for someone who has heard statements like the one above.

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When your employer or your teacher or your mother or some mentor says to you, “Just deal with it. Just buck up.”

Say: “No!”

“I’m not going to put up with it. I’m not going to put up with my not-feeling-good. I’m not going to tolerate it anymore. I’m not going to acquiesce to less than I have become.”

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You can either change the situation which you do not like or you can change the way you look at the situation in order to feel better but if you do neither and keep feeling negative (irritation/frustration/over whelmed/ anger/ hatred/ despair/powerless etc), not only will you keep feeling what you don’t want to feel but you will also walk towards more to feel what you are predominantly and consistently feeling i.e. negative.

The question is would you want that? Don’t you like to feel good? Don’t you like it when you feel love, appreciation, worthy, joy and free? Everything you want is because you believe that you will feel good in having if it. It’s all about you feeling good. You can focus in a way which makes you feel better when you are feeling some negative emotion and when you feel better, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more to feel even more better. You do have the ability to focus the way you want to. You can change your life experiences if you would want to. You are powerful. The same energy which creates worlds flows through you. You are that energy!

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Photo credit – Andy Toolell via unsplash.com

 

You can relearn how to reach a place of no wobble

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“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.”

– Khalil Gibran

Believe

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“One cannot be prepared for something while secretly believing it will not happen.”

– Nelson Mandela

 

Everything that is physical is vibration too

Married couple next to luxury car - Scott Webb

 

“We want to help you to find and practice and accomplish the vibrational frequency that allows the cars, and the lovers, and all of the physical trappings that are important to you. You do live in a physical world, but there is nothing about your physical world that is not spirit-based. There is nothing about your physical world that is not Source-based.”

– Abraham

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Photo credit – Scott Webb via unsplash.com

You create through the power of your focus

Aurora Borealis - Scott Rock

“If you understand that everything is energy, you can also understand that everything you think, believe and feel consists of energy.

Your attitude (or focus) vibrates, and those vibrations affect the quantum fields that underlie, constitute and determine the outcomes of physical matter.

Hence: Your focus actually has the power to alter the appearance of your physical circumstances.”

– Bentinho Massaro

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Photo credit – Scott Rock via unsplash.com

Reconnecting to the strength within

 

woman arms raised looking at the sun - Catherine McMahon

“In other words, nothing is more annoying than to see someone happy when you’re not. Nothing is more annoying than to see someone living the life you want to live when you are not living it, and , even worse, crowing about it: “Oh, let me tell you how good my life.” “Let’s not go there”, you say.

We don’t want you to compare yourself with anybody else. We just want you to have a comparative awareness of whether this thought that you’re thinking right now is upstream or downstream. And do you know why? Because this thought that you are thinking right now is your point of attraction. This is the thought that you are thinking right now that your life is becoming an indicator of.”

– Abraham
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Sometimes there is a phase or a series of phases in our lives (not in everyone’s as a rule but in many people’s lives) when things are not going the way we want them to, when we are feeling low and when our reality is far from what we want.

At that time, when we look around and find friends/colleagues/family members/ strangers etc happy with their lives, we are angry. This is not because we don’t want good for them but because we are not feeling good and we suddenly become aware that there are others who are enjoying what we so much want for ourselves i.e. to be happy and the awareness of the absence of what we want can make us unhappy.

At that point, if some well meaning friend or some Abraham inspired life coach or a positive person comes along and says “all is well”, all we want to say is “yes, sure, come and see my life and you will know that all is NOT well”. Then he/she says “you need to feel happy in order to get things which make you more happy” and you are like “who is telling you all this nonsense?” Then she/he says “Life is good” and you find yourself rolling your eyes saying “which world do you live in?”…and so on…you get the point I am trying to make?

When you are feeling low, what you want to so desperately want is to feel good but often it’s too much of a stretch considering where you are (and how long you have been in that low feeling state). This is not the time for you to jump into a state of bliss (even if that is what you want). Instead what you could do is try and feel a “little bit” better. That’s all. Trying to go from a feeling of anger to a feeling of optimism is a slow process. After all you did not go from feeling good to feeling anger in one day so coming back to feeling good usually will also take time. It’s an incremental process.

In times like this, distraction helps a lot. Distraction has power and the suggestion is to distract yourself in the few moments during the day when you are feeling a little relief from your pain (emotional or physical or both). So for example, if you have a painful illness or that you are experiencing the pain of being betrayed by your life partner or that you finances are not what you would want them to be or your career is not going the way you want – it could be any of these or something else wherein you are feeling pain. You need to be aware of the moments as the day goes wherein the pain lessens a little bit and you need to catch those moments and distract yourself to something which is easy to appreciate for you (it could be a beautiful holiday you took with your parents in your childhood or that recognition you got in your office or your child’s smile, petting your pet etc). The need is to stretch that moment of relief to as much as you can. As you consistently and consciously do this on an everyday basis, you will find yourself experiencing more of what you want to feel. At a stage wherein you are feeling stronger, then you can come back to the topic/subject of pain for you and find something to appreciate in that also.

The question can arise as to why do you need to find something to appreciate in what has given you pain?

Well, you can continue to feel low, be sarcastic, be defensive, be cynical, harbor hatred, be envious etc but till the time you make peace with the subject that you feel so much pain in, you will find a pattern occurring in your life. The people could be different, the situations could be different, the experiences could be different but the pain would be same. You can continue to feel low/angry/envy/sarcasm etc but the law of attraction will bring you experiences which match your feelings and therefore, you will continue to feel the same. The law of attraction states “like attracts like”. What one is feeling attracts more to feel the same. i.e. if one is feeling good, more experiences manifest which make the person feel even more good and if one is feeling negative, more experiences manifest which make the person feel even more negative.

What you want to feel is not negative emotion but it is joy, freedom, empowerment, love, appreciation, optimism and in order for you to feel what you want, you will have to change your feelings before the experiences can change in your life. Once you make peace with that particular topic (it could be freedom, money, abundance, relationships, marriage, children, parents, death etc), you change your feelings about that topic and then the universe gives you more experiences which match your new vibration.

You make peace with that topic which caused you pain by deliberately finding things to appreciate in and around it. It does look like an effort initially but since you have taken out the time and made the effort of distracting yourself consistently, chances are high that you will be strong enough to find something to appreciate in that specific topic which you found painful. Incase you still feel that you are not strong enough to appreciate the painful topic, you may like to give yourself more time and continue distracting yourself and creating better feeling moments. You may consider anger release and forgiveness exercises which resonate with you.

Once you are feeling strong, you can make “lists of appreciation” around that particular topic which caused you pain. You can focus on what came out of that pain and the lessons you learn’t because of it. You will be writing a new story of that pain. The lists can also be full of appreciation for other things in your life which are going the way you want them to go. If you can appreciate many times during a day, you will create “pockets of appreciation” throughout the day for yourself. When you will be in these pockets of appreciation, you will feel relief from the pain, feel better and most important you would have changed your vibration around that topic. The next time you focus on that topic, you will feel a much more positive vibration.

As you deliberately start creating moments in which you feel better on an everyday basis, you will soon find the experiences in your life changing to match upto your new feelings. Initially, you may find small things working out for you like three green traffic lights in a row or meeting a friend you like and had been thinking about for sometime. We call these coincidences but there is nothing like co-incidence. We “co”-create what we then call “co”-incidences. A lot of times, we co create unconsciously i.e. by default. The process described above will help in co creating consciously and when you know “how to” create the experiences you want, you can always replicate the process for anything that you want.

As you notice these wonderful experiences happening in your life and are able to correlate them to what you are doing consciously and deliberately on a daily basis, you will feel motivated to carry on this path and then you will slowly realise the powerful creator that you are. From this place of strength, it will be easier for your desires to manifest in your reality. You will then stop living life reactively and start living it proactively and people around you who are looking at your life will call you “lucky”, little knowing that now you are the “deliberate creator” you always intended to be.

It’s crucial to change what we are offering vibrationally to the universe in order to change the manifestations (or reality) in our lives and the best thing is that “we can” change our vibrations, if we want to. To quote Abraham again –

“And here’s the most important thing that we want you to hear about that: Because you moved to a different vibrational vantage point, the manifestational evidence has to shift, too. So, in the moment that you make the effort to do that, all things in the universe regarding that subject respond to the new vibration that you’re offering.

So, that’s the day you get an idea that pays off to you. That’s the day you rendezvous with somebody who has something to offer you- and you have something to offer them- and you exchange something financially, as a result of it. In other words, that little bit of effort- you couldn’t see it because its not like driving a car toward a destination, but you felt it, so you knew it: and because you felt it, you kept it up, and you kept it up, and you kept it up, and you kept it up….and pretty soon you don’t just hope that you’ll have abundance- you don’t just believe it- you know it, because the evidence is so emphatically surrounding you.

Just thought by thought by thought by thought by thought by thought by thought, you clean it up, clean it up, clean it up, clean it up. What do we mean by “clean it up”? You tell the way you want it to be, and tell less the way you don’t want it to be. You stop facing reality and you start creating reality.”

– Abraham (Money and Law of attraction – learning to attract wealth, health and happiness by Esther and Jerry Hicks, The teachings of Abraham)

What are you creating?

pottery - Alex Jones

In the early 20th century, scientists felt that mass and energy are closely linked. Albert Einstein gave the world the famous equation e = mc2, in which “e” stands for “energy,” “m” denotes “mass” and “c” is the speed of light.

This equation means energy and mass are interchangeable. Einstein realized that matter (i.e. mass) and energy are basically the same thing. In other words, matter is nothing but energy. That means all of us are energy including you and me. Anything which has mass is energy.

I want to take a minute to point out here that if we take any mass, at its basic level it is composed of atoms. If you take a human being, an animal or a table, all of them have mass (i.e. are matter) and at their sub atomic level, have protons, neutron and electrons. There is something very interesting about protons. Protons appear at random, stick around for a while and then vanish to reappear somewhere else and then again vanish. That means when you peek into an atom (of any mass), you will see a proton and then you will not see it. It appears and then disappears giving birth to the thought that you do not need something to create something (that means an effect does not always have to have a cause) or that conjuring something out of nothing is possible, at least for a short while.

Lets come back to energy. Energy is something we feel on an everyday basis. Even if we have never thought about energy, we know what it is. The sun’s energy is felt by us even though the sun is 93 millions miles away. We feel the energy of the wind. It is soft and gentle when a light cool breeze and wild when a tornado. When we stand on a beach and feel the waves, they are energy waves in water. In other words, water energy. We cannot see energy but we sure do feel it.

Our thoughts are also something which we cannot see but we can feel their energy. When we think some positive thoughts, we feel the emotions of hope, optimism, love, appreciation and these makes us feel good. When we think negative thoughts, we feel the emotions of hate, anger, fear, shame, guilt, resentment, revenge, despair or powerlessness and they make us feel negative. The energy of positive feelings and negative feelings is very different. We cannot see thoughts nor their energy but we sure can feel it.

Not only can we feel the energy but those around us can also. Have you met someone whose energy is so positive that just being around them made you feel better? And also, have you met someone whose energy was so negative that it sapped you of whatever energy you had before meeting them?

Another interesting thing about according to Einstein is that “energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” So when there is positive or negative energy within us (because of our positive or negative feelings respectively), where does it go? Before affecting others (as written above), it affects our own body and therefore our lives. There are people who are thriving because of their consistent focus on seeing the positive side of things and there are people betraying themselves of their wellbeing by consistently focusing on the negative side of things. There is nothing right or wrong in either choice. Each one of us has a choice to live our lives the way we want to. The only question which one may want to ask is “are our choices serving us or not?”

Some people may say, “I have reasons to feel negative. I have evidence of things going wrong, I have proof, I have photographs, I have research etc”. Yes, when the physical reality is showing you what you do not want, it can be difficult to feel what you want to feel (i.e. feel good) but at the end of the day, the law of attraction states “like attracts like” – i.e. what you are feeling attracts more to feel the same. So, if you are predominantly feeling positive, you attract more to feel even more positive and if you are predominantly feeling negative, you attract more to feel negative. If you feel a little bit of positive and a little bit negative on an every day basis, what you get is also the same – i.e. a little bit of positive experiences and a little bit of negative experiences but if you want to reduce the negative experiences and increase the positive experiences, every time you find yourself thinking negative thoughts and therefore feeling negative, you may want to ask “what am I creating with these thoughts?” “What am I allowing the law of attraction to give me in my reality – experiences which will make me feel better (which is what I want to feel) or experiences which will make me feel negative?”

It may be an effort initially to change your predominant negative feelings to positive feelings because the law of attraction would have been giving you experiences to match up to your feelings (so if you have been allowing yourself to feel negative, you would have been getting more experiences to feel even more negative and will continue to do so till the time the momentum of your positive thoughts increase) and it will take a little time to change your physical reality but if you can continue to feel positive thoughts just for the sake of feeling good, you will enable the law of attraction to match you up with experiences which make you feel the same i.e. better. When you have had enough of feeling negative emotions and are desperately seeking relief, it will be easier for you to let go of the struggle within and start using any excuse to feel better. The question arises here that do we need to wait till we feel utterly exhausted with our negative emotions to start truly valuing good feeling thoughts? We need not wait and tolerate forever in order to start creating what we want. We always have a choice to start being the creators we intended to be at any point we choose.

The source within you, your inner being (or inner self or god or infinite intelligence or soul) feels only positive emotions – love, joy, freedom, empowered and appreciation. Your inner being loves and adores you. When you are feeling good, you are aligned to your inner being and when you are feeling negative, you are far away from what your inner being is feeling. You will always want to feel good as that is who you are, that is what your source is. Your emotions have value as they are an indicator of whether you are aligned or not to your inner being.

When someone praises you, you feel good as the source within you feels the same about you. When someone criticizes you, you feel bad because the source within you is still focused on how good you are but you are focusing on the criticism and hence feeling something which the source within you will never feel about you. Negative feelings are your indicator that you are not aligned to your source, that you are feeling something which your source does not feel. Whenever you are feeling negative, see that feeling for what it is indicating i.e. you are not feeling about that particular subject what the source within you feels for that subject. Once you become aware, all you need to do in order to feel better is to start focusing on something which is easy to appreciate and then you are in the vicinity of feeling what your source feels i.e. love, appreciation, joy, empowered and free. As you continue to focus on topics which are easy to appreciate for you, as you remember pleasant memories, as you imagine things the way you would like them to and feel good (i.e. as you daydream 🙂 ), as you indulge in activities which you like, as you talk to people you like, as you meditate – as you do any of these processes or any other to feel better, you start feeling incrementally better and finally you start feeling good and are now aligned to your source.

When you choose to focus on aligning with your inner being and therefore feeling good (or vice versa), you are not only feeling what you want to feel but you also allow the law of attraction to match you up with experiences which will make you feel even better. When you are feeling positive, you are moving in the direction of experiences which are a match to what you are feeling i.e. will make you feel even better and when you are feeling negative, you are moving in the direction of what will make you feel even more negative. The choice is always yours.

It’s an incremental process. The first day, you might be able to distract yourself from your negative feeling thoughts and focus on positive feeling thoughts and therefore, feel better only for 30 seconds in the entire 24 hours; the second day, it could be 45 seconds; the second week, it would be one minute daily; the third week, it could be five minutes daily and so on. At times, you might find that you have allowed yourself to feel positive much less than the earlier day. It’s okay. You can always start feeling better from the next day for a longer duration. You never miss the bus. Use any excuse to feel better. It could be a walk next to nature or listening to soothing music or talking to a supportive and trustworthy friend or meditating or dancing or travelling or writing a journal of all the positive things in your life or playing with your children etc. Choose whatever process resonates with you.

This process of feeling better will depend on two things – what is happening within you and how committed you are to thinking good feelings thoughts consciously and consistently on an everyday basis. The suggestion is that, initially, create these feel good moments just for the relief you so much want from the negative thoughts and just to feel that feeling which you want so much. Even if you can’t feel good immediately, it’s fine. In fact chances are that you would not be able to feel good immediately as the momentum of the negative thoughts will need to be replaced by the momentum of the positive thoughts. The changes will be small. As long as you feel a little better than earlier, you are moving in the direction of feeling what you want to feel. As your reality starts to incrementally change, it will be easier for you to predominantly feel good as now your reality will be easier to appreciate.

We want what we want because we believe that in the having of it, we will feel better. Its that feeling (feeling better) which we are targeting. If we can through any excuse feel better in the first place, then what we want will come to us easily. Why swim upstream when you can swim downstream and get what you want? There are people who have got what they wanted but in the journey has been so arduous for them that its taken a heavy toll on their lives (sometimes, their health has suffered, sometimes their relationships, sometimes their abundance and sometimes – all of these have suffered). By consciously and consistently creating more feel good moments for us, we start leveraging the power of the universe and as Abraham say “one who is aligned is more powerful than millions who are not”. Not only do we feel better but we allow the law of attraction to get us more to feel even better.

From this place of feeling strong, we are of value to ourselves and also to those whom we may want to be of value to. From this place of strength rather than lack, our action is so much more complete and whole.

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Photo credit – Alex Jones via unsplash.com

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