Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: desire

You can always choose to nurture your desires by believing in them

marina-vitale-a lady's looking ahead and above

“If you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.”

– Honore de Balzac

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Simple and profound words.

Desire from a place of belief makes one feel good and desire from a place of doubt makes one feel more negative emotion. This can apply to each stage of your desire turning into the physical reality that will please you further (and that is why you want your desire) but more so at the nascent stage when it has just birthed within you.

Depending on what you are predominantly and consistently feeling (either on one or more topics in life which are important to you), you allow the law of attraction to match you up with things/ experiences/ people of similar vibration (or in the vicinity of those vibrations). If your desire is important to you, it will be of value to consider the emotions you feel when you focus on it.

We use our knowledge of the law of gravity to make our lives easier. We can do the same with the law of attraction too, if we want. We always have a choice.

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Photo credit – Marina Vitale via unsplash.com

 

The desire to feel loved

self love - Tranmautritam - pexels

“I think the biggest disease the world suffers from in this day and age is the disease of people feeling unloved.”

– Diana, Princess of Wales

 

As I see it, feeling unloved also encompasses the feeling of not being understood, of not being acknowledged and appreciated, the feeling of not being cherished, the feeling of not being accepted for who one is…..There are many people in this world who are feeling unloved and want to feel acknowledged, loved, cherished and appreciated. This post is long as I feel that this topic is of value to so many of us who are asking for what we want and feel ready for what we have been asking for.

Even though it may seem as digressing from the above quote but here, it will be of value to take a moment to see at how Abraham-Hicks look at the word “disease” – a lack of ease. Looking at disease in this way (i.e. as lack of ease) can be soothing and provide clarity, thereby leading to a place where one is feeling hopeful and eventually, empowered. To take this a little further, now even science has proved the mind-body connection, something which healers across the centuries have known.

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Coming back to the above quote –

I believe that we are uplifters and it feel great to uplift others. When others express their love for us, it makes us feel that we have uplifted them with our presence, our being, with who we are. This feels good to us but if we are dependent on other people’s reaction in order to feel good, then when they do not love us (which can happen…even people who love us can’t feel love for us all the time and I understand and respect that….we are all human), we feel negative emotion as we desire their love (we like the feeling in us when they are uplifted because of us and express it with the appreciation and love they feel for us as they are uplifted) and we observe the absence of what we desire (i.e. the absence of their love for us in that moment). Even though negative emotion has value, it is painful.

Expecting love and appreciation from people who don’t love you is like asking for a loan from people who do not have any money. When they start loving themselves, when they are feeling good (even before they met you that day), when they are in a place of happiness and strength mostly, no matter what, they will find it easier to love you and others. You can see that in yourself too. When you are feeling good, you want to express love and appreciation, you want to smile, you want to compliment. When you are feeling negative emotion, expressing love and appreciation is not something which is the first thing on your mind or something that comes readily to you. It’s the same with most of the other people too.

Instead of looking at others to love you, if you could feel good about yourself where you are, if you could be easy with yourself, if you could be gentle with yourself, if you could take out time to nurture and support yourself, if you could focus on thoughts which make it easy for you to feel relief, if you could take out time to do what makes your heart sing, if you could like yourself, if you could love yourself – firstly, you will feel the love you want and secondly, you will allow the law of attraction to match you with more and more people who also love you, with more and more experiences which make it easy for you to see how loved you are. You will reconnect to your freedom….true freedom.

“Give yourself the love you seek and the universe will send people who match it.”

– Abraham-Hicks

When you start loving yourself, either the people in your life, who as of now do not love you the way you want them to will change to be a match to your new and improved vibrations. If they cannot change, (despite you practicing your new and improved vibrations every day throughout the day) which does happen in many cases as some people are too far away from feeling alignment within themselves as of now (and it is okay…we all have our own beautiful, individual journeys and we get to choose, either consciously or unconsciously the pace and the details of our journey), they will leave your experience and others will take their place who are a match to your new and improved vibrations. If they cannot leave and do not change, they will only meet you on days and in moments that they are a match to your vibrations (and there will be such moments however few). Even if you stay in the same house, you will zig-zag out of each others experience and rendezvous only when you are a match (provided you have been practicing your new and improved vibrations and are “stable” there, predominantly and consistently). If you want to have more people in your life who love you, you may like to consider loving yourself first, nurturing yourself, being kind to yourself.

Louise Hay spoke about loving ourselves in a beautiful way. She said that loving ourselves is not vanity or arrogance. That is always fear.  Loving ourselves is really respecting and appreciating this incredible magnificent being that we are.

Some questions can arise here – how does loving ourselves play out, what does it look like, how can we go about it? The suggestion would be that firstly, start with appreciating, predominantly and consistently, the topics which are easy for you to appreciate. Also, distract yourself from topics which make it easy for you to feel negative emotions by focusing on something which is easy for you to feel good about. Distraction has huge power. It may be an effort initially but it does get easier as you go along practicing your good feeling thoughts. It’s like learning a new skill or a new computer program. Initially, it can be an effort but as one goes along, it gets easier. The easier it gets, the easier it gets.

As you do so throughout the day, every day, chances are high that you will reach a place where you are feeling better and stronger, predominantly and consistently and therefore, can with relative ease turn your loving gaze toward yourself and find things easily to love and appreciate within you. You may like to introduce changes in you and your life but changes introduced from a place of love are more easy, effective and powerful than from a place of criticism. The time taken to reach this place of love and strength will differ from person to person (which is absolutely okay…I understand and respect that) as we all have our own unique, individual, beautiful journeys. I would also suggest to be kind and gentle with yourself while on this journey – if ever you find yourself wallowing in negative emotion (you may be right in feeling the negative emotion but you are not happy and happy is what you want to be), that is okay. You are human. As you become aware that you have been thinking negative emotion and want to change those negative feeling thoughts to positive feeling thoughts, you can distract yourself to any topic which is easy for you to feel relief about whenever you feel ready to do so.

Though at this place of love and strength, chances are high that you may feel ready to love yourself but if you still do not feel ready, that is okay. As I wrote earlier, everyone has their own beautiful, unique journey. You can continue feeling good by focusing on topics and in ways which are easy for you to feel good about and whenever you want to and feel ready, you can look at yourself and feel love and appreciation for the divine creation of life that you are.

Why would you want to feel positive emotion whether it be with regard to yourself or with regard to any other topic? You would because that is who you are – you are pure positive energy and even though at times, you may choose to focus in a way which makes you feel negative emotion, you will always feel the call of who you are. When you feel that call and you do not go toward that positive feeling vibrational place, i.e. you do not focus in a way which makes you feel better, you feel negative emotion. Negative emotion is the indicator that you are not aligned with who you truly are. You love feeling love, you love feeling joy, you love feeling empowered, you love feeling free, you love it when you are appreciating. Anything that you want in your life – more money, a more nurturing relationship, better health, a bigger car, a better house, a great career, starting a new venture etc is because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that you are targeting because that is who you are – joy, love, appreciation, worthy, free and empowered.

A question can arise here – why do we disconnect to this love for ourselves? Have you seen babies? They love themselves just the way they are. I remember seeing a video of Louise Hay in which she spoke about how babies never criticize their body.  She asks, “have you ever seen a baby say “my hips are too big”? 🙂 ….She further goes on to say – “babies are just thrilled and delighted that they have a body. They rejoice in it. They love themselves. They love their toes. They love everything about themselves.”

As we are growing up, we experience being judged which for the first few times, feels shocking. Have you ever seen children express their disapproval when being criticized? They know in their core (to which they are still connected) that they are pure positive energy and when someone is telling them something else apart from this, they know it just does not feel good. It takes a lot of convincing to separate most of us, as are growing up, from that “knowing”. Some of us manage to hold on to that “knowing” and most of those who hold on to this knowing are called as stubborn by others 🙂 . Who others? Others who are not feeling good mostly because if they were, they would find it easier to love and appreciate. This is not to blame the others around us as we were growing up. They were doing the best they could from their knowledge and understanding. It’s important to understand where they were in order to soothe ourselves if we are ready to be soothed. Understanding them is not to justify what they said and/or did but it helps in soothing ourselves. Soothing yourself is part of loving yourself.

The good news is that now as adults we can feel what we want to feel (even when we are not where we want to be…i.e. there is a gap between our desire and where we are currently). We can feel positive emotion, no matter what. We can do so by the power of our focus. We have much more ability to feel good than what we at times give ourselves credit for. Yes, it does take practice. Baby steps every day throughout the day is all it takes. Feeling good is not like a college degree that once we have it, it’s ours forever. It is a moment to moment choice through the day, every day. Even for people who feel ecstasy on a regular basis, there is more.

When we show ourselves that we can feel what we want to feel (even though we do not yet have what we want….whether it be the feeling love for ourselves or a physical manifestation), we reconnect to our freedom. True Freedom is freedom from negative thoughts. When we reconnect to our freedom and practice our connection/alignment to who we truly are every day throughout the day, firstly, we feel good more often and secondly, we also allow the law of attraction to match us up with all that we want “easily” and “in its full potential.” You start living as the creator you intended to be – creator of the kind of life experiences that you want, predominantly and consistently.

Even if you can feel better (from wherever you are) 55% of the time, you would have managed to allow a substantial change to your vibrations and hence of what comes to you in your life. It could be that from where you are, feeling enthusiasm (on a particular topic or many topics which are important to you) may be too much of an expectation as you may not feel ready for it and that is okay. You are human. Instead of trying to jump so far, you could take baby steps to a little more relief every day and as you do that, you get ready to be ready to be ready for what you want to easily manifest in all it’s glory in your physical reality. As you continue to feel a little more relief every day (in a way in which it is easy for you to feel relief), you start walking toward feeling more and more positive emotions – from relief to more relief to even more relief to ease to hope to optimism to positive expectation to happiness and further on to passion, joy, feeling free, empowered and worthy, predominantly and consistently. This is an awesome place to be living life from.

Feeling good is worth a shot 🙂

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Photo credit – Tranmautritam via Pexels.com

 

I’am going to be happy – no matter what

pexels-laughing child indian - Surajith S.

 

“We are really advocates of just getting as happy as you can be — which takes care of everything.

Even if you don’t have reason to be happy — make it up. Fantasize it.

Make a decision that you’re going to be happy one way or another — no matter what.

No matter what, I’m going to be happy! If I have to ignore everybody;

if I have to never watch television again;

if I have to never pick up a newspaper again, I’m going to be happy.

If I never have to see that person’s face again, I’m going to be happy.

If I have to see that person’s face, I’m going to find something to see in that person’s face that makes me happy.

I’m going to be happy.

I’m going to be happy.

I’m going to be happy.”

– Abraham Hicks

(the above words by Abraham have been shared from the blog joypassiondesire)

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Off course, the “inner work” is to reach a point wherein no matter what your physical reality is, you feel happy but if you are not able to feel happy while in your current physical reality, then are you supposed to tolerate your negative emotions till you wither away?

No! You can get some distance between that which pains you and you. In that time and space that you get, you can sharpen your focus till the time you are able to focus on any topic (even if it was painful to you earlier) and find something in it to feel better about it (it can be but need not be enthusiastically happy…. just feeling better is awesome too while on your path to feeling good about it) i.e. you achieve stability in your good feeling thoughts. As you do that, you reconnect to your invincibility, to your freedom. The power which creates worlds flows through you. In fact, it is you.

Yes, sometimes, because of the way we are focused on a situation, we cannot feel positive emotion. There is nothing wrong in it. We are human and we need to be easy on ourselves. Negative emotion always tells us that we have grown but have not gone ahead with our growth. Whenever we feel upto it, we can change the way we are focused on it and thereby taste true freedom – i.e. free to feel whatever emotion we want to feel irrespective of what is happening around us. Sometimes, choosing to distance oneself from what is painful helps in reaching this place of strength and therefore, is the path of least resistance (it need not be but sometimes, it is and only you know that by the way you feel about it). From this place of strength, we are of value to ourselves and to anyone else we may want to be of value to.

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Photo credit – Surajith S via pexels.com

Real change can happen only when driven from within

pexels-photo-smiling business man

“When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can’t make them change if they don’t want to, just like when they do want to, you can’t stop them.”

– Andy Warhol.

Everything that is physical is vibration too

Married couple next to luxury car - Scott Webb

 

“We want to help you to find and practice and accomplish the vibrational frequency that allows the cars, and the lovers, and all of the physical trappings that are important to you. You do live in a physical world, but there is nothing about your physical world that is not spirit-based. There is nothing about your physical world that is not Source-based.”

– Abraham

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Photo credit – Scott Webb via unsplash.com

You can heal

Trees - Studio Dekorasyon

 

“The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well.”

– Hippocrates

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Your cells have infinite intelligence in them. The power is with you – wrapped through you, around you.

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Photo credit – Studio Dekorasyon via unsplash.com

Reconnecting to the strength within

 

woman arms raised looking at the sun - Catherine McMahon

“In other words, nothing is more annoying than to see someone happy when you’re not. Nothing is more annoying than to see someone living the life you want to live when you are not living it, and , even worse, crowing about it: “Oh, let me tell you how good my life.” “Let’s not go there”, you say.

We don’t want you to compare yourself with anybody else. We just want you to have a comparative awareness of whether this thought that you’re thinking right now is upstream or downstream. And do you know why? Because this thought that you are thinking right now is your point of attraction. This is the thought that you are thinking right now that your life is becoming an indicator of.”

– Abraham
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Sometimes there is a phase or a series of phases in our lives (not in everyone’s as a rule but in many people’s lives) when things are not going the way we want them to, when we are feeling low and when our reality is far from what we want.

At that time, when we look around and find friends/colleagues/family members/ strangers etc happy with their lives, we are angry. This is not because we don’t want good for them but because we are not feeling good and we suddenly become aware that there are others who are enjoying what we so much want for ourselves i.e. to be happy and the awareness of the absence of what we want can make us unhappy.

At that point, if some well meaning friend or some Abraham inspired life coach or a positive person comes along and says “all is well”, all we want to say is “yes, sure, come and see my life and you will know that all is NOT well”. Then he/she says “you need to feel happy in order to get things which make you more happy” and you are like “who is telling you all this nonsense?” Then she/he says “Life is good” and you find yourself rolling your eyes saying “which world do you live in?”…and so on…you get the point I am trying to make?

When you are feeling low, what you want to so desperately want is to feel good but often it’s too much of a stretch considering where you are (and how long you have been in that low feeling state). This is not the time for you to jump into a state of bliss (even if that is what you want). Instead what you could do is try and feel a “little bit” better. That’s all. Trying to go from a feeling of anger to a feeling of optimism is a slow process. After all you did not go from feeling good to feeling anger in one day so coming back to feeling good usually will also take time. It’s an incremental process.

In times like this, distraction helps a lot. Distraction has power and the suggestion is to distract yourself in the few moments during the day when you are feeling a little relief from your pain (emotional or physical or both). So for example, if you have a painful illness or that you are experiencing the pain of being betrayed by your life partner or that you finances are not what you would want them to be or your career is not going the way you want – it could be any of these or something else wherein you are feeling pain. You need to be aware of the moments as the day goes wherein the pain lessens a little bit and you need to catch those moments and distract yourself to something which is easy to appreciate for you (it could be a beautiful holiday you took with your parents in your childhood or that recognition you got in your office or your child’s smile, petting your pet etc). The need is to stretch that moment of relief to as much as you can. As you consistently and consciously do this on an everyday basis, you will find yourself experiencing more of what you want to feel. At a stage wherein you are feeling stronger, then you can come back to the topic/subject of pain for you and find something to appreciate in that also.

The question can arise as to why do you need to find something to appreciate in what has given you pain?

Well, you can continue to feel low, be sarcastic, be defensive, be cynical, harbor hatred, be envious etc but till the time you make peace with the subject that you feel so much pain in, you will find a pattern occurring in your life. The people could be different, the situations could be different, the experiences could be different but the pain would be same. You can continue to feel low/angry/envy/sarcasm etc but the law of attraction will bring you experiences which match your feelings and therefore, you will continue to feel the same. The law of attraction states “like attracts like”. What one is feeling attracts more to feel the same. i.e. if one is feeling good, more experiences manifest which make the person feel even more good and if one is feeling negative, more experiences manifest which make the person feel even more negative.

What you want to feel is not negative emotion but it is joy, freedom, empowerment, love, appreciation, optimism and in order for you to feel what you want, you will have to change your feelings before the experiences can change in your life. Once you make peace with that particular topic (it could be freedom, money, abundance, relationships, marriage, children, parents, death etc), you change your feelings about that topic and then the universe gives you more experiences which match your new vibration.

You make peace with that topic which caused you pain by deliberately finding things to appreciate in and around it. It does look like an effort initially but since you have taken out the time and made the effort of distracting yourself consistently, chances are high that you will be strong enough to find something to appreciate in that specific topic which you found painful. Incase you still feel that you are not strong enough to appreciate the painful topic, you may like to give yourself more time and continue distracting yourself and creating better feeling moments. You may consider anger release and forgiveness exercises which resonate with you.

Once you are feeling strong, you can make “lists of appreciation” around that particular topic which caused you pain. You can focus on what came out of that pain and the lessons you learn’t because of it. You will be writing a new story of that pain. The lists can also be full of appreciation for other things in your life which are going the way you want them to go. If you can appreciate many times during a day, you will create “pockets of appreciation” throughout the day for yourself. When you will be in these pockets of appreciation, you will feel relief from the pain, feel better and most important you would have changed your vibration around that topic. The next time you focus on that topic, you will feel a much more positive vibration.

As you deliberately start creating moments in which you feel better on an everyday basis, you will soon find the experiences in your life changing to match upto your new feelings. Initially, you may find small things working out for you like three green traffic lights in a row or meeting a friend you like and had been thinking about for sometime. We call these coincidences but there is nothing like co-incidence. We “co”-create what we then call “co”-incidences. A lot of times, we co create unconsciously i.e. by default. The process described above will help in co creating consciously and when you know “how to” create the experiences you want, you can always replicate the process for anything that you want.

As you notice these wonderful experiences happening in your life and are able to correlate them to what you are doing consciously and deliberately on a daily basis, you will feel motivated to carry on this path and then you will slowly realise the powerful creator that you are. From this place of strength, it will be easier for your desires to manifest in your reality. You will then stop living life reactively and start living it proactively and people around you who are looking at your life will call you “lucky”, little knowing that now you are the “deliberate creator” you always intended to be.

It’s crucial to change what we are offering vibrationally to the universe in order to change the manifestations (or reality) in our lives and the best thing is that “we can” change our vibrations, if we want to. To quote Abraham again –

“And here’s the most important thing that we want you to hear about that: Because you moved to a different vibrational vantage point, the manifestational evidence has to shift, too. So, in the moment that you make the effort to do that, all things in the universe regarding that subject respond to the new vibration that you’re offering.

So, that’s the day you get an idea that pays off to you. That’s the day you rendezvous with somebody who has something to offer you- and you have something to offer them- and you exchange something financially, as a result of it. In other words, that little bit of effort- you couldn’t see it because its not like driving a car toward a destination, but you felt it, so you knew it: and because you felt it, you kept it up, and you kept it up, and you kept it up, and you kept it up….and pretty soon you don’t just hope that you’ll have abundance- you don’t just believe it- you know it, because the evidence is so emphatically surrounding you.

Just thought by thought by thought by thought by thought by thought by thought, you clean it up, clean it up, clean it up, clean it up. What do we mean by “clean it up”? You tell the way you want it to be, and tell less the way you don’t want it to be. You stop facing reality and you start creating reality.”

– Abraham (Money and Law of attraction – learning to attract wealth, health and happiness by Esther and Jerry Hicks, The teachings of Abraham)

It’s beautiful to feel and know our connection.

 

universe - man - Greg Rakozy

 

“Two chemicals called actin and myosin evolved eons ago to allow the muscles in insect wings to contract and relax. Thus, insects learned to fly. When one of those paired molecules are absent, wings will grow but they cannot flap and are therefore useless. Today, the same two proteins are responsible for the beating of the human heart, and when one is absent, the person’s heartbeat is inefficient and weak, ultimately leading to heart failure.

Again, science marvels at the way molecules adapt over millions of years, but isn’t there a deeper intent? In our hearts, we feel the impulse to fly, to break free of boundaries. Isn’t that the same impulse nature expressed when insects began to take flight? The prolactin that generates milk in a mother’s breast is unchanged from the prolactin that sends salmon upstream to breed, enabling them to cross from saltwater to fresh.”

― Deepak Chopra, The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life

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There is a bigger picture. We are all manifestations of source energy. We are all connected.

 

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Photo credit – Greg Rakozy via unsplash.com

 

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