Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: energy (Page 1 of 9)

Forgiveness, ease and freedom

“Today I decided to forgive you. Not because you apologized, or because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me, but because my soul deserves peace.”

– Najwa Zebian


What is forgiveness? Forgiveness, in very simple words, is when you decide to let go of the pain and be the joyful, appreciative and loving person that you actually are. When you forgive, you are not saying that the act committed (or the series of acts committed) are justified or okay. They never will be.

When you forgive, you are letting go of all the anger, the pain and the resentment and thereby, allowing in the joy, the appreciation, the love that you so want to feel. Don’t you like it when you are in joy? Don’t you feel good when you find yourself appreciating things/people/places/experiences? Don’t you find love such a wonderful feeling? The answer to these questions is yes and you do that because that’s who you are, that’s who your inner self is. When you hold yourself in anger (however justified it may be), you are far away from your true inner self and you feel pain in that separation. You don’t like it but it’s so difficult to let go as the resentment feels so justified.

Yes, forgiveness can be difficult but living in anger, resentment, pain, hatred every time you think about it – isn’t that difficult too?

You may decide to continue the relationship or continue the relationship and also reach out for help or you may decide to either temporarily or permanently end the relationship and firstly get to a place where you feel safe … – whatever you choose as per what gives you the most relief (i.e. as per your path of least resistance which only you know), what is more important is what you feel within.

Forgiveness means letting go of the pain, the anger and the resentment in your heart and feeling the relief that you so much want to feel. Forgiveness means looking at the situation, whenever you feel ready to, in a way which makes you feel relief and therefore, closer to the ease you want to feel. Forgiveness is your gift to yourself.

“Forgive because you deserve it.”

― Abraham-Hicks


Forgiveness can come up many times in our unique and beautiful journeys as the day-to-day experiences that make the tapestry of our lives are of great significance to us. Through the life coaching work that I do with my clients and what I see around makes me feel that it can be of help to remind ourselves of its value.

In the situations that one feels the desire to think about it, usually it does not happen in one swoop. It can be felt in one go by some people in some situations but generally it’s a process based on one’s path of least resistance. Initiating forgiveness by keeping one’s path of least resistance in mind makes it easier.

Affirming, for everyone, more and more moments of letting go of the resistance and letting in of relief, of ease, of feeling better than earlier. I feel the year – “2020” signifies something on the lines of a version “2.0” of ourselves for many of us who are willing and ready to start the process of letting go of the struggle, the resistance, the pain and letting in of the relief, the fresh air, the song in our hearts….letting in of the feeling of being empowered and free.

Affirming for everyone a beautiful 2020 filled with moments of ease, peace and joy!

How to reconnect to your power?

“The trick is to talk yourself back into your power”

– Abraham-Hicks

And this is the practice for all of us on a daily basis. Feeling good is not like a college degree that once we have it, it’s ours forever. It is a moment to moment choice on a daily basis. A suggestion that can make this practice a little easier esp. in the beginning is to be kind and gentle with yourself when you become aware that you have chosen to feel negative emotion. It is okay. You are human. You never miss the bus. Whenever you become aware and want to (and more important, feel ready to), you can always soothe yourself and become your own best friend.

Whatever we want (whether it is a better relationship or more money or a better house or a promotion at work or starting a venture…) is because we believe that we will feel better in the having of it. It’s that emotion that we are targeting. Why? Why do we love feeling positive emotions so much? Because that is our essence. We are pure positive energy and whenever we separate ourselves from it, in those moments the struggle we feel inside/ the resistance/ the pain/ the negative emotion is only an indicator that we have chosen to focus on thoughts that are making us feel separate/away, as of those moments, from who we are. That pain is an indicator of the distance between the “you” in your awesome physical body and the “you” in your awesome essence/ core which is pure positive energy. We will always feel the call of who we truly are, our essence in the moments we have chosen to separate ourselves from it – calling us lovingly and adoringly. Yes, there are times when anger feels better than feeling helpless but if one gets stuck in anger, one starts to yearn to feel relief as one starts to feel the separation/distance within. The good news is that whenever we want and feel ready to, we can always through our path of least resistance pivot and feel better from wherever we are.

Here I do want to add that we are all human and it’s of value to understand and respect whatever choices we make in life from wherever we are even if our path of least resistance was feeling negative emotion at any point in our unique and beautiful journeys….from where one is today, some of the choices made in the past may not be the ones one feels like making now but at that time in the past, from where one was vibrationally, they seemed to be ones one felt like making and it’s of value to respect that, it’s of value to be kind to oneself….your choice at that point of time had value then in your unique and beautiful journey, maybe not now keeping in mind your new vibrational place…now you may feel inspired to another choice based on where you vibrationally. The journey is eternal and there is no right or wrong in it. As Abraham-Hicks say – “It is exhilarating to us to announce to you that you can’t get it wrong, that you’ve never been getting it wrong, that no matter what you do, you will not ever get it wrong, and you will never get it done. And the reason it can’t ever be wrong is because it is never done”.

Athletes, composers, authors, artists, inventors etc. have long realized the important of being in the flow. They know that if they are not in the flow, nothing flows (athletes call this being in the zone). Is it a practice? Yes, it is. Even for people who feel ecstasy on a rather regular basis, there are moments where they may not be “in the zone”. These moments for them may be less than earlier in their journey but they are there and that’s okay. We are all human. Such moments have value as they give us clarity about what we want (whenever you are aware of what you “do not want”, you also become aware of what you “do want” to the same degree/intensity). These moments are clarifying moments for us. Positive emotions and negative emotions are both part of our inner guidance, the manual within that we were all born with. Practicing one’s focus from what one does not want to what one wants (pivoting) is the inner work for each one of us and we all have our own beautiful, individual and unique journeys. Following one’s unique path of least resistance is of value in this.

What can make the above practice easier is feeling better through ways which are easy for one to feel good through in the initial stages of starting this practice in life. Once one has developed enough vibrational muscle, one can pivot on a specific situation which one feels is important to oneself. How much time will it take to reach this good feeling place of strength (predominantly and consistently) where one feels ready to pivot on specific situations? It will depend on two things – what is happening within you vibrationally and how committed you are to feeling good on a daily basis? Even if you can feel good 55% of the time every day, you would have managed to bring about a substantial change to your vibrations in favor of positive emotions, you would have tipped the balance towards positive emotions.

Once you are predominantly and consistently feeling good, many times you will find that because of the change in your vibrations, predominantly and consistently, the situation that you thought was painful has also changed to a situation which now makes you feel better as you have allowed the law of attraction to match you up with the solution you wanted. The law of attraction states – “ like attracts like” i.e. what you are feeling attracts more to feel the same. Therefore, when you are (in a way which is easy for you) feeling positive emotions, predominantly and consistently, the law of attraction can now match you up with something that makes you will make you feel even more positive. Just in case, the situation is still the same as sometimes it could (because of a variety of reasons), chances are high that you will feel ready to pivot on any specific situation that you want to. As life goes along and you practice pivoting on topics, you continue to show yourself your power to think thoughts that you want to think (even if the situation has still not changed) and therefore, allow the solutions you want. This practice will find you becoming better and better at this developing the skill that Abraham-Hicks talk about in their quote below –


“The most valuable skill or talent that you could ever develop is that of directing your thoughts toward what you want – to be adept at quickly evaluating all situations and then quickly coming to the conclusion of what you want – and then giving your undivided attention to that. There is a tremendous skill in deliberately directing your own thoughts that will yield results that cannot be compared with results that cannot be compared with results that mere action can provide.”


As you practice this skill everyday throughout the day, one of the beautiful things which you start allowing is that more and more of the action you feel inspired to offer now starts coming from a place of strength (rather than a place of lack), predominantly and consistently. When you feel despair, the action you feel like offering is very different as compared to when you are feeling anger. When you feel anger, the action you feel like offering is very different as compared to when you are feeling hope. When you are feeling love and appreciation, the action you feel inspired to offer is again different from the above three vibrational places. Yes, action is important but more important is the vibrational place from where one feels inspired to a particular action. Vacuuming the floor is important but to plug the vacuum before you start vacuuming is even more important. As you practice this skill predominantly and consistently, you allow more and more feel-good moments predominantly and consistently and you start living more and more as the creator of your life experiences that you intended to be when you decided to come in this beautiful time-space-reality.

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Photo credit – Radu Florin via unsplash.com

It feels so good when you start loving yourself

What if you simply committed yourself to loving yourself more this year?

Allowing more feel-good moments on a daily basis, moments which find you feeling ease, moments where you have a spring in your step, moments which make you feel happy to be alive, which help in you in feeling good more often. From this place of strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to those that you would want to be of value to.

In all this, the suggestion is to distract yourself from negative feeling thoughts by pivoting to topics which are easy for you to feel good about and most important, being easy with yourself when you find yourself not being able to distract yourself. You are human and it’s okay if you have moments of negative emotion. You don’t like them as you find them painful and you like feeling positive emotion because that is your essence – pure positive energy. It’s a practice, it’s a moment to moment choice on a daily basis. Even for people who feel ecstasy on a rather regular basis, it’s a choice in any moment.

Of course, it gets easier as you practice but yes, it is a practice for all of us. We all have our own beautiful unique individual journeys, we are all ever-expanding into more, we are all a work-in progress and keeping this in mind helps in feeling ease wherever you are in your beautiful journey. This ease you feel helps in making it easy for you to be matched up by the law of attraction with the full potential of what you want as per your unique path of least resistance and it also makes the journey to what you want filled with more and more feel-good moments. You enjoy the destination so much more when you arrive and you also enjoy the journey, predominantly and consistently. This is not the only way to allow your desires in life but it is an easy and effective way.

“We are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings immersed in a human experience.”

– Wayne Dyer

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Affirming a great 2019 for everyone. Happy New Year! 🙂

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Photo Credit – Savs via unsplash.com

You are magnificent

 

“Don’t you know yet? It is your light that lights the world.”

– Rumi
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Yes, it does happen that in a moment when we choose to focus in a way that makes it easy for us to feel negative emotion, we have chosen to separate ourselves from who we truly are (the good news being that whenever we want to and feel ready to, we can reconnect back to who we are…and this place of readiness can be different for different people as we all have our own, beautiful, individual and unique journeys) but this decision/choice to separate ourselves from who we truly are in a particular moment in no way takes away from who we truly are i.e. pure positive energy. Our essence, our being, our core is ever-expanding, infinite, eternal, pure positive energy and that is why we love feeling positive emotions.

Negative emotion has value (as it helps us give birth to desires and/or amend our desires) but it is our positive-feeling moments that we love feeling – love, appreciation, worthy, free, empowered, joy, optimism, hope, passion, eager, happiness and other positive emotions. Whatever it is that we want – a more nurturing relationship, health, money, a promotion at work, starting a new venture, buying a new house, a bigger car etc. – we believe that we will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that we are targeting – the positive emotion because that is our essence and we love moments in which we are aligned with who we are, in which we are feeling our essence.

Whenever we choose to separate ourselves from who we truly are and we choose not to reconnect, we don’t like that separation (even in situations where we may like it initially like anger as compared to despair feels more powerful but if you get stuck in anger, you don’t like it after sometime) as we feel the call of our core, our being, our essence as we are not in alignment as of that point. Whenever we feel ready to, we can always pivot in ways which are easy for us (our unique and beautiful path of least resistance) to focus on positive feeling thoughts, on thoughts which give us relief, on thoughts which make us smile, on thoughts which make us feel better from where we are. As we practice our good-feeling place/vibrations/thoughts every day throughout the day, in this place of positive emotions, we are either in alignment or in the vicinity of that alignment with who we truly are, predominantly and consistently. This vibrational place of alignment is what we love as in that alignment, we are home. From this place of strength, we are of so much more value to ourselves and to anyone else that we would like to be of value to.

“You are magnificent. Please know this.”

– Anita Moorjani

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Photo credit – Joel Matt via Unsplash.com

Feeling relief when in fear

What fear is …..is a feeling I have when I am holding a desire in my conscious attention and a belief that contradicts it in the same moment.

– Abraham-Hicks
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Examples of the above – desiring financial prosperity and believing that it will be difficult for you to get it or desiring a recovery from a particular illness and having a belief that the recovery you desire is rare and difficult. Basically, fear is the negative emotion (or one of the negative emotions) that you feel when you think the thought – “I can’t have what I want.”

The good news is that if you want and if you feel ready to, you can change your beliefs in order to align them with your desires as per your path of least resistance 🙂

You do that by soothing yourself thought by thought, moment by moment, as per your own beautiful, unique and individual pace whenever you feel ready to do so. Initially distracting yourself to topics which are easy for you to appreciate helps in feeling relief more often and then from this place of relief and strength, if one wants and feels ready to, one can soothe oneself on the topic one feels fear on.

Of course, pre-paving on a daily basis helps in not only reducing the frequency of life experiences which have the potential for you to choose fear but it also reduces the intensity of the fear that you feel when in them and hence helps in your regaining your balance easily as compared to before you started pre-paving. Pre-paving means allowing more feel-good moments (i.e. moments in which you are feeling relief, moments in which you are feeling good, moments in which you have a spring in your step, moments in which you have a song in your heart, moments in which you are relaxed, positive emotion feeling moments…) and as you do so predominantly and consistently, you develop vibrational muscles, you develop sea legs, you develop good shock absorbers in life. The action you feel inspired to from this place of strength is so much more than from a place of lack. This is not the only way to react to fear but it is an easy and effective way.

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“When you fear anything, don’t take the next step or do something you’re afraid to do. There are a lot of people that will say: “Oh just push through it, and when you push through it, then you’ll get over being afraid of it.”

And we encourage you to do instead is to come into alignment with what you want first by finding the thoughts that feel good, because fear is there for a reason.

The fear is saying: “there’s resistance within you, that is going to attract some of what you want and some of what you don’t want.

Why not clean it up before you take action?

-Abraham-Hicks

 

Bless you fear, thank you for pointing out that I just blocked something that I want, with a bogus habit of thought, that doesn’t apply and has no relevance to where I am now and where I’m going. THAT’S the nugget we’ve been reaching for, that’s the taking thought beyond which it has been before, that’s why we want you to make peace with your negative emotion, that’s why we want you to understand what it is, that’s why we want you to stop standing in a place being mad at yourself or someone else, feeling negative emotion.

Bless you fear. You’re reminding me that I’ve got some vibrational work to do. You’re not here to remind me that I can’t have what I want, you’re just here to remind me that I’m not ready for what I want yet.

Thank you negative emotion for reminding me of amplifying the thought, that there is something that I keenly want, to which I’m not in the vibrational vicinity of, but I have the ability to close that Gap with a little bit of effort.”

– Abraham-Hicks

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Photo credit – Radu Florin via unsplash.com

The wound has value

 

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

– Rumi
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It does not have to be this way but for most people who allow themselves to reconnect in their own, beautiful, unique and individual way with who they are, with the light that is within as well as surrounding them at all times, the clear desire to heal the wound, the strong desire for well-being, the sharp desire for feeling free and happy is the reason to start allowing the reconnection. The wound helps in making this desire clearer, stronger and sharper as compared to before the wound. When one has a strong desire and allows it in one’s physical reality by being a match to it vibrationally, one starts living life empowered and free.

This is the value of the wound. It can help in choosing to allow unconditional happiness more often and when one allows and practices unconditional happiness every day throughout the day, one allows the feeling of empowerment, freedom, worthiness, joy, love and appreciation, predominantly and consistently. We are pure positive energy and we love the moments in which we are feeling the essence of who we are, moments where we are “in the flow” or what athletes call – “being in the zone”. Composers, authors, artists, inventors etc. have long realized that if they are not in the flow, nothing flows.

The wound may be painful but it does have value in helping us grow beyond where we were into a place of true freedom – i.e. freedom from needing conditions to be met before we can be happy. Yes, it is a practice and that is the work for all of us on a daily basis – choosing a better feeling thought on a moment to moment, thought to thought basis (on the topic of the wound, if we feel ready to or by distracting ourselves to any other topic which is easy for us to appreciate in that moment) as per our own beautiful and unique pace, our individual path of least resistance. The journey is eternal.

One of the awesome results of this unconditional happiness is that we allow the law of attraction to match us up with more to be even more happy about as we are already in the same or similar vibration/feeling predominantly and consistently (not always but predominantly and consistently). Even if one can feel positive emotions 55% of the time every day, one would have managed to allow a substantial change in one’s predominant and consistent vibrations and hence of what one allows to manifest in one’s life. The better it gets, the better it gets.

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Photo Credit – Christopher Sardegna via unsplash.com

The greatest gift you can give to yourself and to anyone else that you would like to be of value to is your own happiness

 

To hold someone as your object of attention while you’re connected to Source Energy, is the greatest gift that anyone could give. When you’re not happy, you don’t have anything to give. And so, what it literally means is be happy, because you cannot give anyone something that you do not feel.”

Excerpted from San Francisco, CA on 8/18/01

Our Love
Esther (Abraham and Jerry)
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It’s only from your place of strength that you are of value in its full potential to yourself and to anyone else that you would want to be of value to. Thinking positive feeling thoughts is worth a shot. You may not be able to feel enthusiastic this red-hot minute but just a little better from where you are on any everyday basis is all it takes for you to start feeling predominantly and consistently (not always but predominantly and consistently) in a place where you are feeling good (or in its vicinity).

Negative feeling moments have value (even though they may be painful) as they help you become aware of what it is that you “do not want” and therefore, of what it is that “you do want”. Once you have clarity about your desires, you can choose to be a match to what you want by being in the same frequency/ vibration/ feeling of it. You want what you want (whether it is a more nurturing relationship, kind people, happy interactions, more money, adding value, a bigger car, a better house, starting a business venture, a promotion at work, good health etc.) because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. When you start feeling better now (even though what you want has not manifested yet in your physical reality), you allow the law of attraction to match you up with your desire “easily” and in “its full potential”. That’s when the solutions you want are not just solutions, they are master solutions.

A question can arise here – how do I feel positive when what I am focused on (and makes me feel negative emotion) is so in my face? It’s so much part of my reality that it’s an effort to feel relief. Yes, it may be an effort initially and “distraction” can help a lot here. Distracting yourself to topics which are easy to appreciate for you can help in deactivating the negative thoughts. You don’t even have to feel good all the time (negative emotions have value as they help you grow so they do serve a purpose) but even if you can practice feeling positive emotions 55% of the time on an everyday basis, you would have managed to change your predominant and consistent vibrations substantially and therefore, managed to be a match to your desires. Some suggestions – meditation can help, so can napping (yes 🙂 ), indulging in a hobby can help, speaking with a trustworthy and supportive friend, taking a walk next to nature, a relaxing warm bath – these (or any other way/ process that gives you relief, which makes you feel better, which makes it easy for you to feel good) are all general ways to feel good, practice your vibrational muscle, develop better shock absorbers in life and allow all that you want easily and effectively.
Once you are in a place of feeling good and therefore, in a place of strength predominantly and consistently, chances are high that you will be able to focus on any topic in a way that makes you feel better about it, which gives you relief, which is a match to the solution you desire. For some reaching this place of strength may take less time and for some more time and that is okay. We are human and being kind and gentle with ourselves helps. Knowing that it is an eternal journey helps in feeling ease about one’s beautiful, unique and individual pace.

Positive feeling moments have value as they help you “allow” all that you desire. These feel-good moments are when you are feeling the same emotion (or in its vicinity) as what you believe you will feel when you are living your desire in your physical reality. In this place of appreciation, freedom, joy and empowerment, you are a match to your desires, you are aligned with your desires and as Abraham-Hicks have said – “one who is in alignment is more powerful than a million who are not”, affirming more and more moments of alignment for all those who are asking for what they want.

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Letting go of the struggle

“The less you try to get others to understand your point of view, the clearer your vibration will be and the better you will feel because you’re really asking them to do something that they’re not wired to do.”

– Abraham-Hicks
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It feels nice when others understand you the way you want to be understood but if your happiness depends on other people and their understanding you, you are setting yourself up for frustration. Even the ones who love you and understand you can’t understand you all the time in the way you want to be understood. You may like to consider being happy, no matter what because if you are waiting for the condition to be satisfied (i.e. the condition of their getting you, their understanding you) before you allow yourself to feel positive emotions, you may have a journey which has more struggle than ease. Nothing wrong with that as negative emotion also has value (it helps you give birth to desires and amend earlier desires) but when you can have a journey which is both easy and effective predominantly and consistently, you could consider letting go of the struggle around the topic of other people understanding you.

You don’t let go of your desire to be understood but when you let go of the negative thoughts around this topic, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with people who are more understanding and accepting of others, people who are predominantly and consistently in a place of love and compassion (they are able to extend their understanding and compassion even to those whose actions may not seem justified to them). It’s so interesting that when you decide to not care (not in defiance or any other negative emotion but from a place of having made peace with this topic) and thereby, feel the relief that comes with it, you allow more experiences which make you feel even more of the relief/ ease/ good-feeling place that you are in. You allow more of the people who are a match to your new thoughts/vibrations/feelings on this topic – i.e. who make it easy for you to choose feeling ease. You start allowing the desire (of the kind of life experiences that you want) that life helped inspire within you. As you practice allowing better feeling thoughts, you allow your desire to manifest easily and in its full glory. The easier it gets, the easier it gets.

In all this practice (as per your individual and beautiful pace), if you do meet someone who is not accepting or does not understand you, chances of you choosing a knee-jerk reaction are less as you are practicing your feel-good (or feel better) muscle every day. As you practice predominantly and consistently, due the place of well-being, ease and strength that you are already in (before meeting someone who does not accept or understand you), chances are also high that even if you do choose to have knee-jerk reaction (you are human and it’s of value to be kind and gentle with yourself), you will be able to reconnect to your alignment easily as compared to before you started consciously, predominantly and consistently practicing better feeling thoughts about this topic. You will have better shock absorbers in life.

When you leave others out of the equation (i.e. irrelevant to your focusing on better feeling thoughts), you reconnect to your freedom, to empowerment, to joy, to unconditional alignment. From this place of strength, you are of tremendous value to yourself and to those that you would like to be of value to. At the end of the day, it is a choice – even when it seems that we have no choice (this thought is also something that you choose, either by default or consciously). There is no right or wrong in this. Even though others can agree or disagree with whatever choice you make, it is your own, beautiful, unique and individual journey.

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Photo credit – Sirirak Boonruangjak via pexels.com

 

Happy Holidays!

 

Joy Holidays pixabay pexels

Happy Holidays!

Affirming joy for everyone 🙂

 

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”

– Oprah Winfrey

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Photo credit – pixabay via pexels.com

 

 

The desire to feel loved

self love - Tranmautritam - pexels

“I think the biggest disease the world suffers from in this day and age is the disease of people feeling unloved.”

– Diana, Princess of Wales

 

As I see it, feeling unloved also encompasses the feeling of not being understood, of not being acknowledged and appreciated, the feeling of not being cherished, the feeling of not being accepted for who one is…..There are many people in this world who are feeling unloved and want to feel acknowledged, loved, cherished and appreciated. This post is long as I feel that this topic is of value to so many of us who are asking for what we want and feel ready for what we have been asking for.

Even though it may seem as digressing from the above quote but here, it will be of value to take a moment to see at how Abraham-Hicks look at the word “disease” – a lack of ease. Looking at disease in this way (i.e. as lack of ease) can be soothing and provide clarity, thereby leading to a place where one is feeling hopeful and eventually, empowered. To take this a little further, now even science has proved the mind-body connection, something which healers across the centuries have known.

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Coming back to the above quote –

I believe that we are uplifters and it feel great to uplift others. When others express their love for us, it makes us feel that we have uplifted them with our presence, our being, with who we are. This feels good to us but if we are dependent on other people’s reaction in order to feel good, then when they do not love us (which can happen…even people who love us can’t feel love for us all the time and I understand and respect that….we are all human), we feel negative emotion as we desire their love (we like the feeling in us when they are uplifted because of us and express it with the appreciation and love they feel for us as they are uplifted) and we observe the absence of what we desire (i.e. the absence of their love for us in that moment). Even though negative emotion has value, it is painful.

Expecting love and appreciation from people who don’t love you is like asking for a loan from people who do not have any money. When they start loving themselves, when they are feeling good (even before they met you that day), when they are in a place of happiness and strength mostly, no matter what, they will find it easier to love you and others. You can see that in yourself too. When you are feeling good, you want to express love and appreciation, you want to smile, you want to compliment. When you are feeling negative emotion, expressing love and appreciation is not something which is the first thing on your mind or something that comes readily to you. It’s the same with most of the other people too.

Instead of looking at others to love you, if you could feel good about yourself where you are, if you could be easy with yourself, if you could be gentle with yourself, if you could take out time to nurture and support yourself, if you could focus on thoughts which make it easy for you to feel relief, if you could take out time to do what makes your heart sing, if you could like yourself, if you could love yourself – firstly, you will feel the love you want and secondly, you will allow the law of attraction to match you with more and more people who also love you, with more and more experiences which make it easy for you to see how loved you are. You will reconnect to your freedom….true freedom.

“Give yourself the love you seek and the universe will send people who match it.”

– Abraham-Hicks

When you start loving yourself, either the people in your life, who as of now do not love you the way you want them to will change to be a match to your new and improved vibrations. If they cannot change, (despite you practicing your new and improved vibrations every day throughout the day) which does happen in many cases as some people are too far away from feeling alignment within themselves as of now (and it is okay…we all have our own beautiful, individual journeys and we get to choose, either consciously or unconsciously the pace and the details of our journey), they will leave your experience and others will take their place who are a match to your new and improved vibrations. If they cannot leave and do not change, they will only meet you on days and in moments that they are a match to your vibrations (and there will be such moments however few). Even if you stay in the same house, you will zig-zag out of each others experience and rendezvous only when you are a match (provided you have been practicing your new and improved vibrations and are “stable” there, predominantly and consistently). If you want to have more people in your life who love you, you may like to consider loving yourself first, nurturing yourself, being kind to yourself.

Louise Hay spoke about loving ourselves in a beautiful way. She said that loving ourselves is not vanity or arrogance. That is always fear.  Loving ourselves is really respecting and appreciating this incredible magnificent being that we are.

Some questions can arise here – how does loving ourselves play out, what does it look like, how can we go about it? The suggestion would be that firstly, start with appreciating, predominantly and consistently, the topics which are easy for you to appreciate. Also, distract yourself from topics which make it easy for you to feel negative emotions by focusing on something which is easy for you to feel good about. Distraction has huge power. It may be an effort initially but it does get easier as you go along practicing your good feeling thoughts. It’s like learning a new skill or a new computer program. Initially, it can be an effort but as one goes along, it gets easier. The easier it gets, the easier it gets.

As you do so throughout the day, every day, chances are high that you will reach a place where you are feeling better and stronger, predominantly and consistently and therefore, can with relative ease turn your loving gaze toward yourself and find things easily to love and appreciate within you. You may like to introduce changes in you and your life but changes introduced from a place of love are more easy, effective and powerful than from a place of criticism. The time taken to reach this place of love and strength will differ from person to person (which is absolutely okay…I understand and respect that) as we all have our own unique, individual, beautiful journeys. I would also suggest to be kind and gentle with yourself while on this journey – if ever you find yourself wallowing in negative emotion (you may be right in feeling the negative emotion but you are not happy and happy is what you want to be), that is okay. You are human. As you become aware that you have been thinking negative emotion and want to change those negative feeling thoughts to positive feeling thoughts, you can distract yourself to any topic which is easy for you to feel relief about whenever you feel ready to do so.

Though at this place of love and strength, chances are high that you may feel ready to love yourself but if you still do not feel ready, that is okay. As I wrote earlier, everyone has their own beautiful, unique journey. You can continue feeling good by focusing on topics and in ways which are easy for you to feel good about and whenever you want to and feel ready, you can look at yourself and feel love and appreciation for the divine creation of life that you are.

Why would you want to feel positive emotion whether it be with regard to yourself or with regard to any other topic? You would because that is who you are – you are pure positive energy and even though at times, you may choose to focus in a way which makes you feel negative emotion, you will always feel the call of who you are. When you feel that call and you do not go toward that positive feeling vibrational place, i.e. you do not focus in a way which makes you feel better, you feel negative emotion. Negative emotion is the indicator that you are not aligned with who you truly are. You love feeling love, you love feeling joy, you love feeling empowered, you love feeling free, you love it when you are appreciating. Anything that you want in your life – more money, a more nurturing relationship, better health, a bigger car, a better house, a great career, starting a new venture etc is because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that you are targeting because that is who you are – joy, love, appreciation, worthy, free and empowered.

A question can arise here – why do we disconnect to this love for ourselves? Have you seen babies? They love themselves just the way they are. I remember seeing a video of Louise Hay in which she spoke about how babies never criticize their body.  She asks, “have you ever seen a baby say “my hips are too big”? 🙂 ….She further goes on to say – “babies are just thrilled and delighted that they have a body. They rejoice in it. They love themselves. They love their toes. They love everything about themselves.”

As we are growing up, we experience being judged which for the first few times, feels shocking. Have you ever seen children express their disapproval when being criticized? They know in their core (to which they are still connected) that they are pure positive energy and when someone is telling them something else apart from this, they know it just does not feel good. It takes a lot of convincing to separate most of us, as are growing up, from that “knowing”. Some of us manage to hold on to that “knowing” and most of those who hold on to this knowing are called as stubborn by others 🙂 . Who others? Others who are not feeling good mostly because if they were, they would find it easier to love and appreciate. This is not to blame the others around us as we were growing up. They were doing the best they could from their knowledge and understanding. It’s important to understand where they were in order to soothe ourselves if we are ready to be soothed. Understanding them is not to justify what they said and/or did but it helps in soothing ourselves. Soothing yourself is part of loving yourself.

The good news is that now as adults we can feel what we want to feel (even when we are not where we want to be…i.e. there is a gap between our desire and where we are currently). We can feel positive emotion, no matter what. We can do so by the power of our focus. We have much more ability to feel good than what we at times give ourselves credit for. Yes, it does take practice. Baby steps every day throughout the day is all it takes. Feeling good is not like a college degree that once we have it, it’s ours forever. It is a moment to moment choice through the day, every day. Even for people who feel ecstasy on a regular basis, there is more.

When we show ourselves that we can feel what we want to feel (even though we do not yet have what we want….whether it be the feeling love for ourselves or a physical manifestation), we reconnect to our freedom. True Freedom is freedom from negative thoughts. When we reconnect to our freedom and practice our connection/alignment to who we truly are every day throughout the day, firstly, we feel good more often and secondly, we also allow the law of attraction to match us up with all that we want “easily” and “in its full potential.” You start living as the creator you intended to be – creator of the kind of life experiences that you want, predominantly and consistently.

Even if you can feel better (from wherever you are) 55% of the time, you would have managed to allow a substantial change to your vibrations and hence of what comes to you in your life. It could be that from where you are, feeling enthusiasm (on a particular topic or many topics which are important to you) may be too much of an expectation as you may not feel ready for it and that is okay. You are human. Instead of trying to jump so far, you could take baby steps to a little more relief every day and as you do that, you get ready to be ready to be ready for what you want to easily manifest in all it’s glory in your physical reality. As you continue to feel a little more relief every day (in a way in which it is easy for you to feel relief), you start walking toward feeling more and more positive emotions – from relief to more relief to even more relief to ease to hope to optimism to positive expectation to happiness and further on to passion, joy, feeling free, empowered and worthy, predominantly and consistently. This is an awesome place to be living life from.

Feeling good is worth a shot 🙂

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Photo credit – Tranmautritam via Pexels.com

 

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