Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: frequency (Page 2 of 8)

Loving yourself


“Wouldn’t it be powerful if you fell in love with yourself so deeply that you would do just about anything if you knew it would make you happy? This is precisely how much life loves you and wants you to nurture yourself. The deeper you love yourself, the more the universe will affirm your worth. Then you can enjoy a lifelong love affair that brings you the richest fulfillment from inside out.”

– Alan Cohen

As people feel a resonance with the thought of loving themselves, I am often asked how can we love ourselves? What does it mean to love ourselves? My answer is to initially appreciate topics which are easy for you to feel good about. As you do so throughout the day, everyday, you will reach a place where you are feeling better and stronger predominantly and consistently. From this place of strength, if you feel ready, you can choose to put your loving gaze on yourself too. Chances are high that now because of the new and improved vibrational place that you are in, you will be able to love and appreciate yourself easily.

I must add that loving ourselves is not arrogance or vanity (that is always from a place of fear as Louise Hay says). Loving ourselves means genuinely appreciating the magnificent creation of life that we are.

A question can arise in some – Why would you choose to love yourself? Because when you love yourself, you will feel good and you love feeling good. That is what your essence is. You are pure positive energy. Don’t you love it when you are in love? Don’t you find feeling good awesome? Everything you want – a more nurturing relationship, better health, bigger car, a promotion at work, starting a new venture, more money etc. is all because you believe that you will feel good in the having of it. It is that feeling that you are targeting. When you love yourself, you find it easy to make choices which make you feel even more good, predominantly and consistently. From this place of strength, you are of so much value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.

When you feel love for yourself, you allow the law of attraction to match you with people who also feel love and appreciation for you. The law of attraction states “like attracts like”. What you are feeling attracts more to feel the same. It is a very powerful law just like the law of gravity. We use our knowledge and understanding of the law of gravity to make our lives easy. We can do the same with the law of attraction too.

Another beautiful thing happens when you start feeling good predominantly and consistently. What you are feeling determines the action which is inspired from within you. When you are feeling despair (with regard to any one topic in your life which is important to you or with regard to many topics), there is a particular kind of action which you feel like offering. When you are feeling anger, there is another kind of action that you feel like offering. When you are feeling hope, there is yet another kind of action that you feel like offering and when you are feeling love and appreciation, there is another kind of action that you feel inspired to offer. The action you offer is important but more important is the vibrational place from where it is inspired.

When you are predominantly and consistently feeling either love and appreciation or in the vicinity of it, can you imagine the power of that? The words that you feel liking saying, the thoughts and impulses which come to you, the way you focus on various topics, the action that you feel inspired to offer – all of it is, predominantly and consistently, from a place of strength, a place of true freedom, a place of feeling good, a place of love.

My suggestion would be don’t love yourself for anyone else, don’t do it because you will be of more value to whoever you want to be of value to (which you will be…from that place of love, appreciation, feeling worthy, joy, freedom, feeling empowered, you bring the “whole of you” to any topic/ person you want to be of value to), do it because it feels good to you, do it because you are pure positive energy, do it because you love to feel love, do it for that beautiful feeling of love, do it for yourself.


Photo credit – Kaboompics// Karolina via

I am worthy of love simply because I exist :)



“As I looked at the great tapestry that was the accumulation of my life up to that point, I was able to identify exactly what had brought me to where I was today.

Just look at my life path! Why, oh why, have I always been so harsh with myself? Why was I always beating myself up? Why was I always forsaking myself? Why did I never stand up for myself and show the world the beauty of my own soul?

Why was I always suppressing my own intelligence and creativity to please others? I betrayed myself every time I said “yes” when I meant “no”! Why have I violated myself by always needing to seek approval from others just to be myself? Why haven’t I followed my own beautiful heart and spoken my own truth?

Why don’t we realize this when we’re in our physical bodies? How come I never knew that we’re not supposed to be so tough on ourselves?

I still felt myself completely enveloped in a sea of unconditional love and acceptance. I was able to look at myself with fresh eyes, and I saw that I was a beautiful being of the Universe. I understood that just the fact that I existed made me worthy of this tender regard rather than judgment. I didn’t need to do anything specific; I deserved to be loved simply because I existed, nothing more and nothing less.”

– Anita Moorjani, Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing


Photo credit – via

Feel good, no matter what


“Love yourself enough, that you are willing to stop torturing yourself with negative emotion.”

– Abraham


When you love yourself, it’s easier to find the will to distract yourself from negative thoughts to thoughts which make you feel relief, which make you feel better, which make you feel good. You make the effort (initially, it can be an effort) of changing your feelings from negative to positive because you love feeling good. Anything that you want – better health, bigger car, more money, a more nurturing relationship, starting a venture, career growth etc. is because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. It is that positive emotion that you are targeting.

You love positive emotions because that is who you are. You are pure positive energy. When you are feeling good, predominantly and consistently i.e. when you are aligned with who you truly are, predominantly and consistently, it gets even more easier to continue replacing negative thoughts as and when they occur with positive thoughts on this beautiful journey called life.

From this place of feeling good, you are at a place of strength and not a place of lack and therefore, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to. You are leveraging the energy that creates worlds when you are feeling good. You “easily” flow this energy which flows to you and through you toward all that you care about.

You may be able to think of solutions from a place where you are not feeling good but those solutions will be at best, mediocre ones. The solutions which come to you from a place of strength, from a place where you are feeling good are master solutions rather than mediocre ones.

Athletes, authors, composers, artists etc. are among some of the people in the world who have long realized that until and unless they are in the flow, nothing flows. That being “in the flow” or being “in the zone” comes from a place where you are thinking good feeling thoughts.

If not for anything else, one may choose to feel good simply because it feels so good to feel good 🙂


Photo credit –  Ron Hansen via


Happy New Year!



“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.”

– Joseph Campbell


Affirming that you choose to follow your bliss, you choose what makes you happy, what makes you smile, what makes you feel relief, what makes you feel good, what makes your heart sing & what makes you have a spring in your step and thereby, allow more of what you want to come your way with ease this year.

Happy New Year!


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You are whole and moving toward more




“In your neediness, you repel.

In your completeness, attract.”

– Abraham


Photo credit – Adrianna Calvo via


Do you put others first?

pexels-old man-omar alnahi

“When you put others first, it backfires 100% of the time.”

– Abraham


Rather than others, when you decide to connect with “self” and ultimately connect with “source”, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to. It all starts first with “you”.

So how does this play out in everyday life? For example, if you have a boss/ spouse/child etc who is demanding something from you which you do not feel like giving. You can say to yourself in your mind or even to them if you feel like it – “dear boss/spouse/child (whoever it is in the situation), I would really like to do what you are asking me to do but before that I just want to take care of one thing i.e. that I feel good about doing it and right now, I can’t.”….Now your work is to first ascertain whether it is something that you would like to change your feelings about or not. Sometimes, you may not feel like changing your vibrations/feelings about it which is a decision only you can take as only you know what you are feeling. If you don’t feel like changing your vibrations about it and therefore, do not do anything, the suggestion would be not to offer the action being asked of you.

Sometimes, the action being demanded out of you may be something which “you feel” you “have to do” (maybe in order to keep the job or the relationship/situation going, as of now). It may not be something which you want to do but something that you feel that you have to do which is choosing the “path of least resistance”. Before doing whatever action/ words etc the other is asking of you, you may like to soothe yourself about it so that you feel a little relief about offering that particular action. You may ask why should you soothe yourself? The reason being that firstly, it will make you feel better (may not be a great feeling immediately about it but a better feeling) and secondly, as you feel better, you allow the law of attraction to line you up with something which makes you feel even more better.

In either of the two scenarios, you have kept yourself first. From that place of alignment, you are of so much more value to yourself and then to anyone else you want to be of value to.


Photo credit – Omar Alnahi via

You have the power within you

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As I walked past a man with his mobile on the speaker mode the other day, I heard a lady at the other end of the line say to him “I don’t want someone else better than you. I want you better.”

That set me thinking – isn’t that what many of us do? We fall in love with someone and then when we see something which we do not like in that person, we want to change that habit/ trait etc in that person…some of us keep trying our entire lives to change the other person…

What we are feeling in the present moment is far from the feeling we “want” to feel and we believe that by changing the other person, we will feel better ….if we make feeling better conditional, now we are in trouble because the law of attraction states like attracts like – what you are feeling attracts more to feel the same. Not your words, but your feelings are what the law recognizes. Therefore, when you are feeling good predominantly (not always but predominantly and consistently), you attract more to feel even more better about and vice versa.

When you see something in your partner/lover/spouse that you do not want, there is a desire which comes forth from you to see what you want. For example, you see that your partner is at times rude to you and for you being kind is important. You believe that when your partner will be kind to you, you will feel better. The universe answers your desire immediately and now you need to allow it into your physical reality. In order to allow it, you must be feeling either the same or in the vicinity of what you want to feel predominantly but if you keep beating the drum of how rude your partner is, if you keep talking and/or thinking about how bad his/her behavior feels to you and therefore, you keep feeling negative, you are not a match to your desire. The frequency/ feeling/ vibration of your desire (i.e. a kind partner) is different from the frequency you are at in the moment when you are focused negatively. If you are at 106.1 FM and you want to hear 98 FM, you will have to change the dial to 98 FM. While being at 106.1 FM, you cannot hear 98 FM. The frequency of the problem/question is very different from the frequency of the solution/answer.

When you are feeling negative emotions, you have resistance (it feels like such a struggle) and therefore, you do not allow the law of attraction to match you with your desire. Nobody is punishing you (far from it, the universe “always” feels love for you even when you are not a match to your desire) but the way the law operates is “like attract like”. Your desire and where you are vibrationally have to be a match. No body takes what you want away from you and nobody else gets it but you do not get it. You can get what you want, provided, you feel better either by focusing on the positives in your partner or if that is too difficult at the moment for you, you can focus on anything which makes you feel better, which is easy for you to appreciate. As you are feeling the same feeling or are in the vicinity of what your desire feels like, you are moving in the direction of manifesting your desire in your physical reality. As you practice your alignment all day, everyday either your partner will change to be match to your desire or he/she will meet you only on those days that he/she can show behavior which is a match to your vibrations and if he/she cannot change, he/she leaves your experience and another who is a match to your desire takes his/her place.

An important question to answer is – would be you okay if the partner you have cannot change and leaves your life because of your new improved vibrations? What sometimes happens is that we are not ready to be without the person who we are with as of now even if the relationship is not going the way we want….the problem comes when we want him to change without us changing our vibrations…our happiness becomes conditional…. this is choosing the path of most resistance because you are scared that he/she may not be there and you don’t want that even if you are not happy in the relationship…and now you have a journey more harder than what it needs to be…. Therefore, if the answer to the above question is no, then there is some more inner work to be done towards loving yourself.

If the answer to the above question is yes, that means that you are committed to feeling better and now because of your commitment towards yourself, its easier for you to focus on what you want rather than what you do not want.

If instead of getting after another person to change in order to make us feel better, if we could just focus our thoughts in a way (either general or specific) which makes us feel better, then our desires can manifest in our physical reality easily. Sometimes, we may decide to take a temporary or even a permanent break in the relationship as we go about finding our alignment (i.e. feeling better either about one aspect of the relationship or the whole relationship or the topic of relationships altogether). Whether we reconnect to our alignment while in the relationship or when out of it, its important that we do find our alignment and change our vibrations/ feelings on this topic. If we do not raise our vibrations on it, we will find another experience even if we shift to another city or even to another country which makes us feel the same. It would be like a pattern – the situation or setting may change but our feelings would be the same.

The good news is that there is a way out and i.e. by feeling good, no matter what. Isn’t it fantastic that the most easy way (i.e. feeling good by using any excuse) is the most effective way to get what you want? Many people can’t believe that the solution can be so simple. They believe that the solution has to be complex but it is not. Its actually quite simple.

All this reminds me of Abraham’s words below (from the YouTube video titled “Stop expecting others to provide answers for you”) –

“When you look at others to meet your needs, you need to know that they will let you down every time because it’s not their job….

You can’t start at something that is corrupt at its base and ever make it work out without more creativity than it’s worth….

Of course it’s appropriate for you to sift through your buffet and find your preferences. What is screwy is picking up one person and asking them to match your preference rather than put your preferences over in your vibrational reality and allow the Law of attraction to bring it all together and then you go and reap the benefit of what you have sown. That is different. In other words, you of course get to selectively sift, you get to choose with great definition the details of what pleases you and every bit of that is wonderful. Just don’t ask that person now to be all those things. That’s what gets screwy. Let your vibrational escrow percolate and you do your best to give it your undivided attention so that you become a vibrational match to it and then when the law of attraction brings all of it together and brings you because you are a match to it so that there are no bugs to work out.

But what you are describing goes more like this – you sift through the data, you define what you want but you do not work on becoming a match to what you want. So you give your attention to what you have got and in giving your attention to what you have got, you are not a match to what you want and now you say – “I am not disciplined enough to look at what I want, I am looking at what I have got so I guess you need to change to meet all my expectations. If you would be like that, then I would be whole”. That’s what goes screwy.

Don’t ask the people who helped you define what you want to become what you want so that you can have what you want. Instead, let them be the step 1 part of it, use your will power and decision to focus upon what you want and then the universe will bring you what you want. There are so many people going about it in a flawed premise, backwards way where they say – “I would feel better if you would act more like that and I resent that you don’t love me enough to try” and if they could speak it like it is, they would say “hey, its not my job to be everything that you want. It was my job to harass you into clarity about what you want and now that you are clear, can’t you see it that I am not it? Don’t try to make me be it. Focus upon what you want and let that come to you and leave me alone”. And you say “No, I want you to be it. You inspired my desire and if you hadn’t made me grow, I would not be having this problem. So you owe it to me to be what I grew to”.

Here is something really is worth remembering here. When you stand where you are knowing that you want something that hasn’t come about yet and you don’t have the discipline to look in the direction of what you want but instead you are looking at whatever it was that caused you to want it and you are feeling the discord of that lack of focus, there is a very powerful tendency, without even knowing it, to let what you have got to be the catalyst that trains your vibration. So you keep thinking this thought which is different from what you want but you keep thinking the thought so you develop a belief or a chronic pattern of thought which then holds you apart from what you want. So the best way we have of describing that is – lets say that you are interacting with someone who causes you to want “this” and if you could give “ this” that you want your undivided attention then you would stand there and the universe would have to deliver you what you want so that it is really a common thing that someone who was not giving it to you, now gives it to you because you have lined up your vibration and so anything less that what you want is illogical.

So, if for example – you want monogamy. If you are someone who wants monogamy and you are interacting with someone who does not want it or even if it’s the other way round, it doesn’t matter. You want it and they do not and you focus upon what you want and why you want it, the universe has to bring you what you want but if you focus upon on the other person wants which is what you do not want, then without meaning to you train your vibration to what you do not want. Now you cannot get what you want and you keep thinking that it’s the other person’s fault. When the only thing that ever comes to you is what is active in your vibration. This is just another way of saying to you that you got to let everyone else off the hook and you just have to develop your own deliberate pattern of thought by focusing upon what you want. Stop asking other people to be big players in giving you what you want and you be the only player in becoming a match to what you want and then watch how fast the universe delivers to you exactly what you want.

And when that happens, then you are able to live and let live. You let the world be what it individually chooses to be because it can’t hinder you or keep you from what you want. It never could but sometimes it feels like suppose there is Tabasco sauce in the kitchen and you think that it will get into you pie. Others tell you that it will not get in your pie but you say “it will get in my pie. Well, it’s in the kitchen so it can get into my pie. If it weren’t in the kitchen, I would feel a lot more better. So get it out of the kitchen. Oh, now look, it’s in my pie. I told you, I told you that it would get into my pie because it’s in the kitchen. I told you”. And we say “it did not get into your pie because its in the kitchen. It got into your pie because you can’t get your eyes off it. It got into pie because you keep talking about it and you keep activating the vibration of it.”

It really is more irrelevant that you think what the other people in your life want but what is relevant is what you think they want. So if you could just eternally look towards what you want and disregard everything else, the universe would have to give you what you want. And in so many more cases then you would believe from where you currently stand, often you can get exactly what you want from the components which are already present in your life. You do not have to go to a whole new place, you just have to chronically define a whole new vibration.

The relationship between your expectation and what you are seeing is the only thing you ever have the ability to feel around.”

To know more about the wonderful teachings of Abraham, please visit


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I love and respect myself


woman - Daniela Avila - unsplash

“Cutting some people out of my life, doesn’t mean I hate them. It simply means, I RESPECT me.”

– unknown


Photo credit – Daniela Avila via

I’am going to be happy – no matter what

pexels-laughing child indian - Surajith S.


“We are really advocates of just getting as happy as you can be — which takes care of everything.

Even if you don’t have reason to be happy — make it up. Fantasize it.

Make a decision that you’re going to be happy one way or another — no matter what.

No matter what, I’m going to be happy! If I have to ignore everybody;

if I have to never watch television again;

if I have to never pick up a newspaper again, I’m going to be happy.

If I never have to see that person’s face again, I’m going to be happy.

If I have to see that person’s face, I’m going to find something to see in that person’s face that makes me happy.

I’m going to be happy.

I’m going to be happy.

I’m going to be happy.”

– Abraham Hicks

(the above words by Abraham have been shared from the blog joypassiondesire)


Off course, the “inner work” is to reach a point wherein no matter what your physical reality is, you feel happy but if you are not able to feel happy while in your current physical reality, then are you supposed to tolerate your negative emotions till you wither away?

No! You can get some distance between that which pains you and you. In that time and space that you get, you can sharpen your focus till the time you are able to focus on any topic (even if it was painful to you earlier) and find something in it to feel better about it (it can be but need not be enthusiastically happy…. just feeling better is awesome too while on your path to feeling good about it) i.e. you achieve stability in your good feeling thoughts. As you do that, you reconnect to your invincibility, to your freedom. The power which creates worlds flows through you. In fact, it is you.

Yes, sometimes, because of the way we are focused on a situation, we cannot feel positive emotion. There is nothing wrong in it. We are human and we need to be easy on ourselves. Negative emotion always tells us that we have grown but have not gone ahead with our growth. Whenever we feel upto it, we can change the way we are focused on it and thereby taste true freedom – i.e. free to feel whatever emotion we want to feel irrespective of what is happening around us. Sometimes, choosing to distance oneself from what is painful helps in reaching this place of strength and therefore, is the path of least resistance (it need not be but sometimes, it is and only you know that by the way you feel about it). From this place of strength, we are of value to ourselves and to anyone else we may want to be of value to.


Photo credit – Surajith S via

You are love

Love - Rose petals - Shahista Fatima - pexels

“Nothing is more debilitating than to care about something you can’t do anything about. And you can’t do anything about your adult children. You can want better for them, and maybe even begin to provide something for them, but in the long run, you cannot do anything about someone else’s vibration other than hold them in the best light you can, mentally, and then project that to them. And sometimes, distance makes that much more possible than being up close to them.”

– Abraham


This can apply to any relationship. Sometimes, distance makes it easier for you to reach a point wherein you can feel better about someone. It’s not a guarantee but chances are high.

Why would you want to feel better about someone? Because you are love. You love it when you are feeling love and you do not like it when you are feeling any negative emotion. Negative emotion has value as it is part of the emotional guidance you are born with but it is not who you are and that is why you love it when you are feeling love, joy, appreciation, worthy, empowered, free – because that is who you are. Feeling better for the sheer joy of feeling better.


Photo credit – Shahista Fatima via

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