“You can never win an argument with a negative person. They only hear what suits them, and listen only to respond.”
– Michael P. Watson
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Jerry: So, there’s nothing wrong with taking “the coward’s way out”?
Abraham: There are many people who override their own guidance system by trying to please others, and there are many people who will call you “selfish” or “cowardly” when you have the audacity to please yourself rather than them. Often others will call you “selfish” (because you are unwilling to yield to their own selfishness) without realizing the hypocrisy of their demand.
Sometimes, we are accused of teaching selfishness, and we admit that it is true because if you are not selfish enough to tend to your own vibration and therefore hold yourself in alignment with your source (and with-you-really-are), then you have nothing to give to another anyway. When others call you “selfish” or “cowardly,” their own vibrations are clearly out of balance, and a modification of your behavior will not bring them into balance.
And even if it does bring them into balance, it will be very temporary. After some time, they will again demand a modification of your behavior in order to feel good. As you continue doing so, you will do them a big disservice as you will teach them to depend on someone else for their happiness whereas they (just like you) have the ability to feel good by focusing on topics in a way which feels good (i.e. everyone can feel good on their own). You will also observe that as you continue modifying your behavior in order to make them happy, their demands keep increasing and as you keep meeting their increasing demands, you start resenting the very relationship you wanted to be of value to. Now you have nothing to give firstly to yourself and also to those that you wanted to give to, as you are now in a place of lack rather than a place of strength.
The only thing which is of value is to focus on good feeling thoughts yourself and when you are predominantly and consistently feeling good, the law of attraction will surround you with experiences who make you feel the same i.e. feel good. Usually, it happens that we feel when we are surrounded by experiences which make it easy for us to feel better. Yes, you do feel better easily if your reality is what you want it to be but the way you create your experiences is by first feeling good yourself even though the experiences you want have not manifested yet.
Thankfully, there are ways to feel good even if you are not living the reality you want. You can nap, you can take a walk next to nature, you can meditate, you can play with your child, you can have a relaxing warm bath, you can appreciate something which is easy for you to appreciate, you can talk to a supportive and trustworthy friend, you can indulge in a hobby etc. As you create more and more feel good moments through these general ways on an every day basis, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with the kind of experiences you want. That is when we start leveraging the power of the universe. That is when people look and say – “it’s a miracle” or that “she/he is lucky” but what you are doing is not unconscious creating; it is deliberate creation at its best. In addition, because now that you are deliberating creating, you can replicate the process in any area of your life wherein you want to change the results. It starts with being selfish enough to use any excuse in order to feel good predominantly and consistently, no matter what your reality is.
The law of attraction states “that which is like unto itself, is drawn” i.e. what you think and therefore feel, attracts more to feel the same. It’s a powerful law just like the law of gravity. We understand the law of gravity and use our knowledge about it to make our lives easier. We can do the same with the law of attraction too.
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“When someone behaves poorly, it’s always because they’ve forgotten how powerful they really are, how beautiful life is, and how much they’re loved. Always.”
― Mike Dooley
It’s only when someone has not felt free or worthy or loved for a long time, does he/she feel the desire to behave in a way which hurts or scares others….it’s like if someone puts a pillow on your face…you will flail about desperate for air….someone making a choice to behave negatively is like this desperate cry to feel better… the negative choice may help in order to feel relief but that relief will be very temporary….the predominant and consistent relief which one wants will only come through alignment and one who is aligned never feels inspired to hurting or scaring others…the two vibrations are different….
The above is not to justify someone’s behavior but to help understand the behavior as only when we understand, can we feel better about it….feeling better is important if we want to move on with a light heart with regard to someone’s negative behavior…and when we are ready to feel better, that is when we reconnect to our freedom i.e. our freedom to feel what we “want” to feel…
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