Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: how to manifest

Reconnect to your power

neal-kharawala-smiling lady

“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.”

– unknown
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The above reminds me of this very empowering quote by Abraham Hicks – “it is not your job to keep others happy and it is not their job to keep you happy”. It is your job to make yourself happy and it is their job to make themselves happy. Each one of us has the potential, the ability to feel happy through the power of our own focus, our thoughts much more than we give ourselves credit for. When you let yourself off the hook and let others off the hook too, can you imagine the deliciousness of that feeling? Two happy people savoring life coming together to further savor the awesomeness of the moments together. Can you imagine the power of that?

We are uplifters and it does feel good when we uplift others. When someone comes up to us and tells us that something that we did or said made him feel happy, we feel good. The problem arises when we start doing things for others in order for them to be happy and as time goes, we teach them to be dependent on us for their happiness. As they feel dependent on us for their happiness, their demands keep increasing and we keep giving even though we start feeling depleted. We have done two things – we have taught them to depend on us (rather than the power of their focus) and we have started resenting the very relationships we may have wanted to be of value to because now we feel we cannot give anymore. When we tell others that we cannot give anymore, more often than not they may react with anger because they are now used to getting their happiness from us. We may want them to have a different reaction. We may want them to understand where we are coming from but more often than not, this is not what we get from them in this situation.

We can’t control others (we may try and maybe we succeed with one person in the world but we can’t control them all and we do meet many people during our lifetime… trying to control them results in frustration) but we can control our thoughts. When we decide to focus on positive feeling thoughts, we allow the law of attraction to match us more with experiences which make us feel even more positive. As we practice our positive feeling thoughts throughout the day, every day, those who are around us either change to be a match to our new and improved vibrations or leave our experience and others take their place who are a match to our new vibrations. We start allowing the life experiences we desire.

Yes, it does require practice and initially, it may require gently guiding yourself to positive feeling thoughts. Feeling positive is not like a college degree that once you have it, it’s yours forever. Feeling positive is a choice you make every day, throughout the day. The suggestion is to be kind and gentle with yourself when starting to choose positive feeling thoughts over negative feeling thoughts. If you find yourself thinking negative feeling thoughts, that’s okay. You are human. The moment you are aware that you are thinking negative feeling thoughts, if you want, you can change them by distracting yourself to positive feeling thoughts. You can change your thoughts whenever you want. You never miss the bus.

Distracting yourself to “topics which are easy for you to appreciate” makes allowing more and more positive feeling moments easier on a daily basis. When you do this, that’s when you start allowing the life that you want to live – predominantly and consistently feeling positive. Anything that you want – more money, good health, a more nurturing relationship, a better career, starting a new venture, a bigger car etc. is all because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that you are targeting through that physical manifestation. If you can feel positive even though what you want has not yet manifested, what you want manifests “easily” in all its glory and the best part is that you “enjoy” the journey to living the physical manifestation that you want. That’s when you are “in the flow”. Athletes call it being in the zone. Musicians, athletes, authors, inventors, composers etc have long realized that unless they are in the flow, nothing flows.

Don’t do it for others. Do it for yourself. You can easily reconnect to your power, which was, is and always will be there for you within you.

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Photo credit – Neal Kharawala via unsplash.com

Appreciation has value

 

Happy - pexels

“If there’s an opportunity to praise, I’m going to praise. If there’s an opportunity to criticize, I’m going to keep my mouth shut and try to meditate. If I feel like criticizing I’ll say, here Kitty, Kitty, and I’ll pet my cat until that feeling goes away.” Within 30 days of mild effort, you can go from one of the most resistant people on the planet, to one of the least resistant people on the planet. And then those who are watching you will be amazed at the amount of manifestations that begin to occur in your physical experience.

– Abraham

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The antidote for a feeling of lack is appreciation. You ask, “how can I appreciate when I am focused on lack?”

You can appreciate all that which is easy for you to appreciate. If you find nothing specific, go general – the sun came up today and its not on anyone’s to-do list, the blood in your body continues to flow on its own, the planet is rotating and revolving in perfect proximity to other planets on its own, the air we breath is always there for us (in other words, we do not keep breathing in fear that the air around us will not be there. When we breathe out, we do know that we will breath in. In other words, we do believe or rather we “know” that air will always be there for us to breath.) etc. As you start focusing more on the well-being which is around you, you will start feeling the feeling of abundance and then it has to show up in your life in the very specific ways you want it to be in.

Your creation is 99% complete in your vibrational reality (i.e. in the way you think and therefore, feel) before showing up in your physical reality. It’s like molding clay. You mold your life experiences through your emotions before they show up in your physical reality where you can touch, smell, taste, hear and see them.

Reconnecting to the strength within

 

woman arms raised looking at the sun - Catherine McMahon

“In other words, nothing is more annoying than to see someone happy when you’re not. Nothing is more annoying than to see someone living the life you want to live when you are not living it, and , even worse, crowing about it: “Oh, let me tell you how good my life.” “Let’s not go there”, you say.

We don’t want you to compare yourself with anybody else. We just want you to have a comparative awareness of whether this thought that you’re thinking right now is upstream or downstream. And do you know why? Because this thought that you are thinking right now is your point of attraction. This is the thought that you are thinking right now that your life is becoming an indicator of.”

– Abraham
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Sometimes there is a phase or a series of phases in our lives (not in everyone’s as a rule but in many people’s lives) when things are not going the way we want them to, when we are feeling low and when our reality is far from what we want.

At that time, when we look around and find friends/colleagues/family members/ strangers etc happy with their lives, we are angry. This is not because we don’t want good for them but because we are not feeling good and we suddenly become aware that there are others who are enjoying what we so much want for ourselves i.e. to be happy and the awareness of the absence of what we want can make us unhappy.

At that point, if some well meaning friend or some Abraham inspired life coach or a positive person comes along and says “all is well”, all we want to say is “yes, sure, come and see my life and you will know that all is NOT well”. Then he/she says “you need to feel happy in order to get things which make you more happy” and you are like “who is telling you all this nonsense?” Then she/he says “Life is good” and you find yourself rolling your eyes saying “which world do you live in?”…and so on…you get the point I am trying to make?

When you are feeling low, what you want to so desperately want is to feel good but often it’s too much of a stretch considering where you are (and how long you have been in that low feeling state). This is not the time for you to jump into a state of bliss (even if that is what you want). Instead what you could do is try and feel a “little bit” better. That’s all. Trying to go from a feeling of anger to a feeling of optimism is a slow process. After all you did not go from feeling good to feeling anger in one day so coming back to feeling good usually will also take time. It’s an incremental process.

In times like this, distraction helps a lot. Distraction has power and the suggestion is to distract yourself in the few moments during the day when you are feeling a little relief from your pain (emotional or physical or both). So for example, if you have a painful illness or that you are experiencing the pain of being betrayed by your life partner or that you finances are not what you would want them to be or your career is not going the way you want – it could be any of these or something else wherein you are feeling pain. You need to be aware of the moments as the day goes wherein the pain lessens a little bit and you need to catch those moments and distract yourself to something which is easy to appreciate for you (it could be a beautiful holiday you took with your parents in your childhood or that recognition you got in your office or your child’s smile, petting your pet etc). The need is to stretch that moment of relief to as much as you can. As you consistently and consciously do this on an everyday basis, you will find yourself experiencing more of what you want to feel. At a stage wherein you are feeling stronger, then you can come back to the topic/subject of pain for you and find something to appreciate in that also.

The question can arise as to why do you need to find something to appreciate in what has given you pain?

Well, you can continue to feel low, be sarcastic, be defensive, be cynical, harbor hatred, be envious etc but till the time you make peace with the subject that you feel so much pain in, you will find a pattern occurring in your life. The people could be different, the situations could be different, the experiences could be different but the pain would be same. You can continue to feel low/angry/envy/sarcasm etc but the law of attraction will bring you experiences which match your feelings and therefore, you will continue to feel the same. The law of attraction states “like attracts like”. What one is feeling attracts more to feel the same. i.e. if one is feeling good, more experiences manifest which make the person feel even more good and if one is feeling negative, more experiences manifest which make the person feel even more negative.

What you want to feel is not negative emotion but it is joy, freedom, empowerment, love, appreciation, optimism and in order for you to feel what you want, you will have to change your feelings before the experiences can change in your life. Once you make peace with that particular topic (it could be freedom, money, abundance, relationships, marriage, children, parents, death etc), you change your feelings about that topic and then the universe gives you more experiences which match your new vibration.

You make peace with that topic which caused you pain by deliberately finding things to appreciate in and around it. It does look like an effort initially but since you have taken out the time and made the effort of distracting yourself consistently, chances are high that you will be strong enough to find something to appreciate in that specific topic which you found painful. Incase you still feel that you are not strong enough to appreciate the painful topic, you may like to give yourself more time and continue distracting yourself and creating better feeling moments. You may consider anger release and forgiveness exercises which resonate with you.

Once you are feeling strong, you can make “lists of appreciation” around that particular topic which caused you pain. You can focus on what came out of that pain and the lessons you learn’t because of it. You will be writing a new story of that pain. The lists can also be full of appreciation for other things in your life which are going the way you want them to go. If you can appreciate many times during a day, you will create “pockets of appreciation” throughout the day for yourself. When you will be in these pockets of appreciation, you will feel relief from the pain, feel better and most important you would have changed your vibration around that topic. The next time you focus on that topic, you will feel a much more positive vibration.

As you deliberately start creating moments in which you feel better on an everyday basis, you will soon find the experiences in your life changing to match upto your new feelings. Initially, you may find small things working out for you like three green traffic lights in a row or meeting a friend you like and had been thinking about for sometime. We call these coincidences but there is nothing like co-incidence. We “co”-create what we then call “co”-incidences. A lot of times, we co create unconsciously i.e. by default. The process described above will help in co creating consciously and when you know “how to” create the experiences you want, you can always replicate the process for anything that you want.

As you notice these wonderful experiences happening in your life and are able to correlate them to what you are doing consciously and deliberately on a daily basis, you will feel motivated to carry on this path and then you will slowly realise the powerful creator that you are. From this place of strength, it will be easier for your desires to manifest in your reality. You will then stop living life reactively and start living it proactively and people around you who are looking at your life will call you “lucky”, little knowing that now you are the “deliberate creator” you always intended to be.

It’s crucial to change what we are offering vibrationally to the universe in order to change the manifestations (or reality) in our lives and the best thing is that “we can” change our vibrations, if we want to. To quote Abraham again –

“And here’s the most important thing that we want you to hear about that: Because you moved to a different vibrational vantage point, the manifestational evidence has to shift, too. So, in the moment that you make the effort to do that, all things in the universe regarding that subject respond to the new vibration that you’re offering.

So, that’s the day you get an idea that pays off to you. That’s the day you rendezvous with somebody who has something to offer you- and you have something to offer them- and you exchange something financially, as a result of it. In other words, that little bit of effort- you couldn’t see it because its not like driving a car toward a destination, but you felt it, so you knew it: and because you felt it, you kept it up, and you kept it up, and you kept it up, and you kept it up….and pretty soon you don’t just hope that you’ll have abundance- you don’t just believe it- you know it, because the evidence is so emphatically surrounding you.

Just thought by thought by thought by thought by thought by thought by thought, you clean it up, clean it up, clean it up, clean it up. What do we mean by “clean it up”? You tell the way you want it to be, and tell less the way you don’t want it to be. You stop facing reality and you start creating reality.”

– Abraham (Money and Law of attraction – learning to attract wealth, health and happiness by Esther and Jerry Hicks, The teachings of Abraham)

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