Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: life (Page 1 of 8)

The value of pain

“There will be a time, not so far from now, that you will look back on this phase of your life and instead of condemning it or beating up on it… instead of blaming or guilting, you will feel appreciation for it, because you will understand that a renewed desire for life was born out of this time period that will bring you to physical heights that you could not have achieved without the contrast that gave birth to this desire.”

– Abraham-Hicks

Excerpted from the workshop in Boston, MA on Saturday, October 4th, 1997.
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Every topic has an “unwanted” and a “wanted” – for example, when you see someone being rude (unwanted), you desire to see kind people (wanted), when you see poverty (unwanted), you desire to see prosperity (wanted), when you see illness (unwanted), there is a desire born within to see good health (wanted)….

Therefore, even though contrast (i.e. the presence of unwanted and wanted) may be painful but it has value as it helps you clarify your desires (i.e. what you want) in a much more stronger, sharper and clearer way than before that contrast and when you allow your desires, you allow yourself to grow into newer places – a more healthier you, a more prosperous you, you allow more of the kind of people you like in your life, a more vibrant you, a more energetic you…. If we were happy “100% of the time”, chances are the we won’t feel the desire for more, the desire to expand beyond where we are. Of course, the practice here is to focus as easily as you can, as per your path of least resistance, on the desire which life has helped inspire within you (out of that contrast) and therefore allow it. The practice here is pivoting to the desire which has been born within you because of the contrast and thereby, allowing it to manifest in your physical reality easily and in its full potential.

If you are going through contrast and feeling negative emotion (esp. in the initial stages of giving birth to the desire to see/live what you want), a few things can facilitate the ease you so want to feel – firstly, knowing that it’s okay to feel negative emotion. You are human and being kind towards yourself has value. Negative emotion is part of the inner guidance you were born with. All it’s doing is telling you that you have given birth to a desire and in the moments in which you are feeling negative emotion, you are not a match to your desire. What this means is that you want your desire because you believe that you will feel positive emotions when you manifest your desire but in the moments when you are feeling negative emotion, you are not feeling what your desire feels like, what you believe your desire will make you feel once it manifests in your physical reality and therefore, the negative emotion is telling you that as of that moment, you are not a match to your desire. There is a separation between you and your desire, vibrationally in the moments of negative emotion, however justified the negative emotion may be. You may be right but you are not happy and happy is what you want to be (that is why you want what you desire…it is that feeling that you are targeting through your desire).

The law of attraction states – “like attracts like” which means you got to feel what your desire will make you feel once it manifests in order for it to manifest easily. The part which requires a little effort initially is to feel the same or similar feelings as that of one’s desire even though it has not yet manifested. The good news is that you can.

As per your unique path of least resistance, whenever you feel ready, you can do things which make you feel good (which, as written earlier, is the also the reason you want your desire i.e. to feel good). If you can focus on your desire and feel good, that’s great but for many people, this may be difficult esp. in the initial stages which is pretty understandable. We are all human and its of value to be kind towards ourselves. A suggestion here is that if you can’t go specific, go general i.e. focus on topics which may not be connected to the topic of your specific desire but are easy for you to feel good about. These can be – meditating, indulging in a hobby, thinking about pleasant memories, taking a walk next to nature, getting a relaxing massage, having a warm relaxing bath, talking with a trustworthy and supportive friend etc – something which resonates with you and hence is easy for you to do and makes you feel good. Once you are feeling good consistently and predominantly, chances are high that you will be able to focus on the specific topic of your desire in a way that makes you feel better about it – i.e. now you are being a match to your desire.

I must share that many times, as you go general, you will allow the specific desire that you have to manifest in your physical reality even though you were not focusing specifically on it. This happens because just by feeling good (in general and ways that are easy for you), you became a match to your desire but just in case, it hasn’t yet manifested even though you are practicing your positive feeling thoughts throughout the day every day, chances are high that at some point (as per your unique and beautiful path of least resistance), you would be feeling ready to go specific and find things to feel good about in that specific situation/contrast of yours, thereby being a match to the desire within you. How much time will it take to become a match depends on two things – what is happening within you vibrationally and how committed you are to feeling good everyday throughout the day.

In all this, it is of value to remember these words from Abraham-Hicks – “you will never get it done and you cannot get it wrong”. You will always be giving birth or amending desires. It’s an eternal journey and it’s also unique with no right or wrong. Each one of us is eternal consciousness and in this eternal, ever expanding and boundaryless universe, each one of us has our own beautiful and individual journey. Knowing that this process will always be there (i.e. giving birth to desires) can help in your allowing ease for yourself along the journey, in making peace with what gives you pain, in enjoying the journey to allowing all that life has helped inspiring within you and therefore taking you further beyond where you were earlier to the contrast. We cannot help but grow into more, the question is – are you going to go along with your growth (by being a match to it, vibrationally) or are you going to keep yourself apart from your own growth/desire?

Also knowing that it is contrast which helps you to grow and expand further beyond where you have been before that contrast (and therefore, has value) helps to find thoughts of relief about it, whenever you are ready to. An example here – the desire for good health is stronger in a person after he has been sick as compared to before that sickness. As he allows his desire, coming out of this contrast, by being a match to it, he manifests even better health levels in his life. Now even science is recognizing the mind-body connection, something that healers across centuries have known.

A question can arise here – What are you expanding into? To answer this question, I am sharing yet another Abraham-Hicks quote below –

“Do you understand that what you’re creating is YOU?
You’re not creating money, you’re creating a more prosperous YOU.
You’re creating a more abundant YOU.
You’re creating a YOU with greater ease. You’re creating a YOU with greater opportunity.
You’re creating a YOU with greater opportunity for more fun. It’s YOU. You are the expander of YOU.
You are the creator of YOU, you see.”

Out of the very situation which is painful, something which pleases you will come out and you will be able to experience it with your physical senses when you allow it by being a match to it. In the moments of pain, you may not be able to see what good will come out if it but knowing that this is the way the creation (and allowing) of life experiences happens helps in finding thoughts of ease, as and when you feel ready to, which further helps in allowing your growth, your expansion into more.

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Love yourself

“I love myself exactly as I am. I no longer wait to be perfect in order to love myself.”

– Louise Hay


You may have a desire to introduce changes in your life and you can choose to introduce them with love in your heart for yourself, your life, your body, your essence…. when you are loving, kind and gentle with yourself, the journey to where you want to be becomes so much more easier.


“You are perfect as you are and ever-expanding into more”.

– Abraham-Hicks

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It feels so good when you start loving yourself

What if you simply committed yourself to loving yourself more this year?

Allowing more feel-good moments on a daily basis, moments which find you feeling ease, moments where you have a spring in your step, moments which make you feel happy to be alive, which help in you in feeling good more often. From this place of strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to those that you would want to be of value to.

In all this, the suggestion is to distract yourself from negative feeling thoughts by pivoting to topics which are easy for you to feel good about and most important, being easy with yourself when you find yourself not being able to distract yourself. You are human and it’s okay if you have moments of negative emotion. You don’t like them as you find them painful and you like feeling positive emotion because that is your essence – pure positive energy. It’s a practice, it’s a moment to moment choice on a daily basis. Even for people who feel ecstasy on a rather regular basis, it’s a choice in any moment.

Of course, it gets easier as you practice but yes, it is a practice for all of us. We all have our own beautiful unique individual journeys, we are all ever-expanding into more, we are all a work-in progress and keeping this in mind helps in feeling ease wherever you are in your beautiful journey. This ease you feel helps in making it easy for you to be matched up by the law of attraction with the full potential of what you want as per your unique path of least resistance and it also makes the journey to what you want filled with more and more feel-good moments. You enjoy the destination so much more when you arrive and you also enjoy the journey, predominantly and consistently. This is not the only way to allow your desires in life but it is an easy and effective way.

“We are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings immersed in a human experience.”

– Wayne Dyer

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Affirming a great 2019 for everyone. Happy New Year! 🙂

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Affirming more and more moments of appreciation and thanksgiving for everyone 🙂

“I’m going to be happy. I’m going to skip. I’m going to be glad. I’m going to smile a lot. I’m going to be easy. I’m going to count my blessings. I’m going to look for reasons to feel good. I’m going to dig up positive things from the past. I’m going to look for positive things where I stand. I’m going to look for positive things in the future. It is my natural state to be a happy person. It’s natural for me to love and to laugh. This is what is most natural for me. I am a happy person!”

– Abraham-Hicks

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Feeling relief when in fear

What fear is …..is a feeling I have when I am holding a desire in my conscious attention and a belief that contradicts it in the same moment.

– Abraham-Hicks
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Examples of the above – desiring financial prosperity and believing that it will be difficult for you to get it or desiring a recovery from a particular illness and having a belief that the recovery you desire is rare and difficult. Basically, fear is the negative emotion (or one of the negative emotions) that you feel when you think the thought – “I can’t have what I want.”

The good news is that if you want and if you feel ready to, you can change your beliefs in order to align them with your desires as per your path of least resistance 🙂

You do that by soothing yourself thought by thought, moment by moment, as per your own beautiful, unique and individual pace whenever you feel ready to do so. Initially distracting yourself to topics which are easy for you to appreciate helps in feeling relief more often and then from this place of relief and strength, if one wants and feels ready to, one can soothe oneself on the topic one feels fear on.

Of course, pre-paving on a daily basis helps in not only reducing the frequency of life experiences which have the potential for you to choose fear but it also reduces the intensity of the fear that you feel when in them and hence helps in your regaining your balance easily as compared to before you started pre-paving. Pre-paving means allowing more feel-good moments (i.e. moments in which you are feeling relief, moments in which you are feeling good, moments in which you have a spring in your step, moments in which you have a song in your heart, moments in which you are relaxed, positive emotion feeling moments…) and as you do so predominantly and consistently, you develop vibrational muscles, you develop sea legs, you develop good shock absorbers in life. The action you feel inspired to from this place of strength is so much more than from a place of lack. This is not the only way to react to fear but it is an easy and effective way.

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“When you fear anything, don’t take the next step or do something you’re afraid to do. There are a lot of people that will say: “Oh just push through it, and when you push through it, then you’ll get over being afraid of it.”

And we encourage you to do instead is to come into alignment with what you want first by finding the thoughts that feel good, because fear is there for a reason.

The fear is saying: “there’s resistance within you, that is going to attract some of what you want and some of what you don’t want.

Why not clean it up before you take action?

-Abraham-Hicks

 

Bless you fear, thank you for pointing out that I just blocked something that I want, with a bogus habit of thought, that doesn’t apply and has no relevance to where I am now and where I’m going. THAT’S the nugget we’ve been reaching for, that’s the taking thought beyond which it has been before, that’s why we want you to make peace with your negative emotion, that’s why we want you to understand what it is, that’s why we want you to stop standing in a place being mad at yourself or someone else, feeling negative emotion.

Bless you fear. You’re reminding me that I’ve got some vibrational work to do. You’re not here to remind me that I can’t have what I want, you’re just here to remind me that I’m not ready for what I want yet.

Thank you negative emotion for reminding me of amplifying the thought, that there is something that I keenly want, to which I’m not in the vibrational vicinity of, but I have the ability to close that Gap with a little bit of effort.”

– Abraham-Hicks

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The wound has value

 

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

– Rumi
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It does not have to be this way but for most people who allow themselves to reconnect in their own, beautiful, unique and individual way with who they are, with the light that is within as well as surrounding them at all times, the clear desire to heal the wound, the strong desire for well-being, the sharp desire for feeling free and happy is the reason to start allowing the reconnection. The wound helps in making this desire clearer, stronger and sharper as compared to before the wound. When one has a strong desire and allows it in one’s physical reality by being a match to it vibrationally, one starts living life empowered and free.

This is the value of the wound. It can help in choosing to allow unconditional happiness more often and when one allows and practices unconditional happiness every day throughout the day, one allows the feeling of empowerment, freedom, worthiness, joy, love and appreciation, predominantly and consistently. We are pure positive energy and we love the moments in which we are feeling the essence of who we are, moments where we are “in the flow” or what athletes call – “being in the zone”. Composers, authors, artists, inventors etc. have long realized that if they are not in the flow, nothing flows.

The wound may be painful but it does have value in helping us grow beyond where we were into a place of true freedom – i.e. freedom from needing conditions to be met before we can be happy. Yes, it is a practice and that is the work for all of us on a daily basis – choosing a better feeling thought on a moment to moment, thought to thought basis (on the topic of the wound, if we feel ready to or by distracting ourselves to any other topic which is easy for us to appreciate in that moment) as per our own beautiful and unique pace, our individual path of least resistance. The journey is eternal.

One of the awesome results of this unconditional happiness is that we allow the law of attraction to match us up with more to be even more happy about as we are already in the same or similar vibration/feeling predominantly and consistently (not always but predominantly and consistently). Even if one can feel positive emotions 55% of the time every day, one would have managed to allow a substantial change in one’s predominant and consistent vibrations and hence of what one allows to manifest in one’s life. The better it gets, the better it gets.

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The most important relationship you have is with yourself

“If you do not love yourself totally, wholly, and fully, somewhere along the way you learned not to. You can unlearn it. Start being kind to yourself now.”

– Louise Hay

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Babies love themselves just the way they are. Have you ever heard a baby say or rather look like they are feeling – “I don’t like my hands” or “I wish my body was different”? 🙂 . They are just so happy to be here in this life. They have this awe for themselves, for everything that they discover around them, for life. You were also like that. Some of us have managed to retain the connection to this place of love for ourselves, predominantly and consistently. Many of such people (i.e. who managed to remain connected to this place of love for themselves, no matter what) have been accused of being “stubborn” (and stubborn here being considered a negative trait or quality by those accusing) by those that did not understand how they could not look at themselves in the way the world looked at them (or a trait in them) from its place of disconnection. This is not to blame those around who saw others from a place of disconnection. They were doing the best according to their knowing and understanding. Understanding where they were coming from is important not to be kind and gentle with them (though if you want to be, that is great but typically, it does not come in one fell swoop for most people and that is okay, we are human.) but to be kind and gentle with ourselves. Understanding those who were disconnected themselves (and hence could not feel appreciation and love for others, predominantly and consistently) can lead to feeling relief and that is a place that we would want to be in – a place of feeling better.

Those of us who have lost that connection can reconnect whenever we want to and feel ready to. All it takes is a desire and depending on your readiness, you allow more and more feel-good moments on a daily basis about things which are easy for you to appreciate. When you are predominantly and consistently in this place of feeling positive emotions (or in the vicinity of them) in ways that are easy for you, chances are that you will be able to look at yourself and say – “hmm, not bad” or “there are things that I like in myself”….as you practice this good-feeling place, chances are high that (again depending on your readiness which is different for different people as we all have our own, unique, individual and beautiful journeys which I totally respect) you will reach a place where you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be able to, with ease and love in your heart, say “I love you” or “I love myself” or “I am so happy to be me” or “I am thrilled to be me”. As you start “feeling” these words towards yourself, initially you may find yourself having tears in your eyes. The tears here are an indicator that the process of reconnection is getting stronger as the layers of resistance/struggle/negative thoughts are being allowed to be shed by you, as per your unique and beautiful pace.

Loving yourself is not arrogance of vanity (Louise Hay said that these are from a place of fear and not love). Loving ourselves is acknowledging and appreciating the magnificent creation of life that we are. Living life from this place of love, appreciation and strength predominantly and consistently not only makes our journey easier but it also allows the law of attraction to match us with so much more which is easy to appreciate. We start living as the leading-edge creators we intended to be when we decided to come in this time-space-reality which is a great place to be in but at the same time, I would suggest don’t do it for being the leading-edge creator that you want to be, love yourself for the joy it brings to your heart, for the sense of freedom, worthiness and empowerment that it reconnects you to. Love yourself because it feels so good. Everything else that you want will be allowed more easily and in its full potential by you in your life from this place of love as that is law (the law of attraction) but my suggestion is to love yourself just for the feeling of it. Feel good because it feels so good to feel good 🙂

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An easy, simple and effective solution for allowing all that you want in your life

“Appreciation is the magic formula you’ve been seeking.”

– Abraham-Hicks
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When you focus predominantly and consistently on topics which are easy for you to appreciate, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with even more to appreciate. As you continue practicing your good-feeling thoughts predominantly and consistently, you start allowing more moments on a daily basis where you are feeling positive emotions. In this place of strength (rather than lack), chances are high that you will be able to look at topics which were painful for you earlier in a way that makes you feel better, in a way which provides you relief. More often than not, because of your new, improved, consistent and predominant vibrations, you will find that those topics have resolved in a way which you appreciate but if they have not, chances are high that you will be able to look at them in a way which provides relief. As you do so, you allow even more feel-good moments than earlier and thereby allow the law of attraction to match you up with more to feel good about. The easier it gets, the easier it gets. The better it gets, the better it gets.

Negative emotion has value as it helps you give birth to new desires and/or amend earlier desires. Positive emotion is what you allow your desires through. Both have value.

It’s so empowering to realize that the key to life is so simple and so effective.

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You always gain

Lady-bliss-pexels-pixabay

“That’s what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we’ve changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning.”

– Richard Bach
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Even though pain may not feel good but it has value. When in a place of pain/negative emotion, you become more clear about what you “do not want” which further leads you to clarity about what you “do want”. For example, when you see poverty, you desire prosperity; when you see sickness, you desire health; when you meet a person who is rude to you, you desire to meet kind people. As you allow the desires which you have given birth to or amended because of the pain you felt, you reconnect to your power. Negative emotion may be painful but it has value as it is connected to your expanding and growing beyond what you had been before you felt that negative emotion.

As you practice allowing all the desires that life has helped in inspiring within you, you start to see the value of pain/negative emotion and even though you may still not like negative emotion, you don’t react to it with the same intensity as you may have done earlier. As you start to feel see the big picture and therefore, the value of negative emotion, you develop good shock absorbers in life. You start to feel ease with it all – positive and negative emotion or as some of us would call it, winning and losing. It’s all part of the dance, all part of the process of creation – creation of our lives.

As you feel ease, you further lessen the intensity of the negative emotions that you are feeling. As you do so more often, you increase moments in which you feel relief/ better and as you do that, you start to tilt the balance towards positive feeling emotions (either with regard to one or more than one topic in life or with regard to life in general). As you do so predominantly and consistently, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more positive feeling experiences. The law of attraction states – “like attracts like”. When you are feeling positive emotions predominantly and consistently, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with experiences which make you feel the same (or in the vicinity of positive emotions) on a more predominant and consistent basis. You start “allowing” your desires to manifest in your physical reality.

Even though negative emotion has value, you may want to reduce it and increase the positive feeling moments in life as the latter is what you love – anything that you want in life (whether it is a more nurturing relationship, money, health, starting a new business, a promotion, a bigger car, a better house etc.) is because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that you are targeting. You love positive emotions because that is your essence. You are pure positive energy. As you show yourself your ability to feel good predominantly and consistently (even if what you want hasn’t yet manifested in your life in the way you want it to) through the power of your focus (your thoughts), you allow the law of attraction to match you up with all that you desire easily and in its full potential as you are a vibrational match to your desires in the feel-good moments. The negative feeling moments help in giving birth to new desires or amending the previous desires. The positive feeling moments help in allowing the desires to manifest in your life “easily” and “in their full glory”.

One of the best things about all this is that we have the freedom to choose how we look at any situation. As Abraham-Hicks say, “you are so free, you can choose bondage”. Yes, sometimes, the choice is deliberate/conscious and sometimes it is by default/unconscious but it is a choice nonetheless.

Connected to the above, I want to share another quote by Abraham-Hicks – “You can’t get it wrong and you will never get it done”. As you never get it done, you can’t get it wrong. It’s an eternal journey. We all have our own beautiful, unique, individual journeys and knowing this helps in further feeling ease whenever one feels ready to feel it regarding a topic/situation that one finds painful and this place of feeling ready would be different for each one of us as no two journeys are the same. Knowing this helps is treasuring one’s journey in all its entirety – positive feeling moments as well as the negative feeling moments.

This may not be the only way to live but it is easy and is effective. Being kind and gentle with ourselves by seeing the value in both – in positive emotion as well as in negative emotion makes the journey easy and that ease helps in reconnecting to the power within, in all its glory.

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Joy all the way

lady laughing-hian-oliveira-unsplash

 

“Joy is not the result of getting what you want. It is the way to get what you want. In the deepest sense, joy is what you want.”

– Alan Cohen

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The destination (or manifestation of the specific desire that you have) is important but it’s the fun of the ride that you really want. When the destination becomes more important than the journey to it, the fun reduces. If it was just the destination that you wanted, once you would have reached there, you would not want anything else but you savor your destination for some time and then, you again have another destination (another desire) that you want (and another ride that you start). The journey is eternal. There will always be more and once you know that, you can feel ease with this eternalness and thereby, easily allow more feel-good moments while on the way to what you want. Makes the journey easier and also allows what you want to manifest in its full glory.

What you want is because you believe you will feel better in the having of it – whether it is money, a more loving relationship, health, starting a business, a promotion at work, a bigger car etc. It is that feeling that you are targeting through the specific desire that you have. Why save all the joy only for the last part i.e. when it manifests in your physical reality when you can allow joy not only in the manifestation but also on the way to it? Why limit the joy in your life when you can so easily feel it in the here and now even if what you want hasn’t manifested? You can do so in many ways – meditation, a walk next to nature, indulging in a hobby, speaking with a trustworthy and supportive friend, napping (yes 🙂 ), a warm relaxing bath, a soothing massage, daily lists of appreciation about topics which are easy for you to appreciate, feeling affirmations and visualizations (general or specific, depending on your readiness)…. – depending on the resonance you feel, you can choose one or more than one way out of these (or ways similar to these, ways which make it easy for you to feel better, to feel ease, to have a spring in your step, a song in your heart) to allow yourself to feel positive emotions on a daily basis.

You are pure positive energy. That is why you love feeling positive emotions (of course, moments of negative emotion have value as they facilitate growth and expansion beyond what you have been before but since they are painful, you would want to reduce them and increase the moments in which you are feeling joy, appreciation, love, worthy, free, empowered and other positive emotions…you would want to tip the balance towards positive emotions) and when you realize that you can allow more and more feel-good moments on a daily basis, you may want to consider it. You have the ability to feel positive emotions predominantly and consistently and when you show yourself that you can do so, no matter what – you reconnect to your freedom. As you practice allowing feel-good moments throughout the day everyday in ways which are easy for you, ways which resonate with you depending on where you are – you develop vibrational muscle. It is a practice even for people who feel ecstasy on a rather regular basis. Yes, it gets easier as you go along but it is still a practice (a choice) on a moment to moment basis.

As it gets easier for you, you become good at allowing more and more joyful moments on a daily basis and thereby, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more life experiences which are in the same or similar frequency i.e. which make you even more joy. The better it gets, the better it gets. You start living life from a place of strength, just the way you intended to live when you decided to come in this time-space-reality.

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