Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: life (Page 1 of 8)

Empowering yourself with the clarity and insight within through meditation and mindfulness

In 1994, I was in the second year of my bachelor’s degree in Psychology. The Psychology department had organized its annual seminar which was a great learning experience for all of us attending it. The sessions were well thought-out and engaging. In one of the sessions, there was a line uttered which I remember very clearly even today. The session was led by an eminent psychiatrist and he started his talk by saying –

“If you want, your mind is your best friend and if you want, your mind is your worst enemy.”

The words made an impression in my mind even though at that stage in my life, I could not fully absorb them. During the following years, as I completed my bachelor’s degree, master’s degrees, started working in the corporate world, continued studying within programs as well as on my own and lastly and most important, learned from life itself, I started understanding and practicing living these words. It is still a practice as we are all human and it’s of value to be kind with ourselves. It’s an eternal journey and as Abraham-Hicks have said, “even for people who feel ecstasy on a rather regular basis, there is more”. There is always more growth to look forward to, more to grow into for each one of us wherever we are in our unique and beautiful journeys. The good news is that as one goes along allowing in one’s journey, one continues to connect to the insight and clarity within. It’s an eternal journey on which the easier it gets, the easier it gets. There are tools, techniques and processes which can help in one’s journey in order to empower oneself and feel free, predominantly and consistently. One of these techniques, an easy and effective technique, is meditation.

“Meditation is like a gym in which you develop the powerful mental muscles of calm and insight.”
– Ajahn Brahm

In an article by Ryan Smith, in the Harvard Business Review titled – “How CEOs can support employee heath in a crisis”, the statistics were on the lines of what many of us have been feeling about the way this crisis is affecting the world. Since the outbreak of the pandemic, 75% of people say they feel more socially isolated, 67% of people report higher stress, 57% are feeling greater anxiety, and 53% say they feel more emotionally exhausted, according to a global study of over 2,700 employees across more than 10 industries undertaken by Qualtrics and SAP during March and April 2020. There is a clear asking for more well-being. In addition to this, the changing markets and consumer demands over a period of time have been leading to companies asking for more agility and innovation.

Even if one looks at the world in its entirety, there is a lot which is being asked for with regard to well-being. According to WHO in May 2019, globally, an estimated 264 million people suffer from depression, one of the leading causes of disability, with many of these people also suffering from symptoms of anxiety. A recent WHO-led study estimates that depression and anxiety disorders cost the global economy US$ 1 trillion each year in lost productivity. Close to 800 000 people die due to suicide every year, which is one person every 40 seconds. There are indications that for each adult who died by suicide there may have been more than 20 others attempting suicide.

At a time like this, there are answers which can be implemented (and to an extent, are being implemented). One of the answers, the ancient technique of meditation is probably more important to the world in modern times than it was when it took birth or was realized.

Studies have shown the benefits of meditation leading to better decision making, increased productivity, more capacity for happiness and less propensity for negativity. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), some of the most empirically proven positive benefits of mindfulness meditation include reduced stress, improved memory, better focus and greater emotional control. These make the ROI on meditation extremely high.

According to an article in the Harvard Business Review in 2018, ongoing research has suggested that a regular meditation practice can help by changing how the brain responds to stress and anxiety. Researchers from Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, MD sifted through nearly 19,000 meditation studies and their findings, published in JAMA Internal Medicine, suggest that mindful meditation can help ease psychological stresses like anxiety, depression, and pain. One of her studies, Dr. Elizabeth Hoge, a psychiatrist at the Center for Anxiety and Traumatic Stress at Massachusetts General Hospital and an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School found that a mindfulness-based stress reduction program helped quell anxiety symptoms in people with generalized anxiety disorder, a condition marked by hard-to-control worries, poor sleep, and irritability.

It’s the value that meditation allows which is making people turn to meditation for nurturing their well-being. In an article in the Business Insider titled, “5 successful business leaders that have used meditation to improve productivity, creativity, and business acumen” CEOs like Jeff Weiner of Linkedin, Marc Benioff founder of SalesForce, Bill Ford executive chairman of Ford and Ray Dalio, founder of Bridgewater Associates speak about how meditation has been helpful. Among others who believe in meditation are Bob Stiller, founder of Green Mountain Coffee, Andrew Cherng, founder Panda Express and Russell Simons, founder of Def Jam Records. Companies like Apple, Google, Nike, Aetna, Bosch, Goldman Sachs, Intel,Target, Linkedin, Twitter and SAP are among the many who have implemented meditation. According to an extensive study by the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), more than 18 million Americans practice meditation on a daily basis. In recent years, surveys have been conducted to find out how many people meditate globally. Though there are no reliable results, rough estimates range from 200 million to 500 millions globally.

Since meditation honors the unique and beautiful being that each individual is, it is extremely self-empowering. It’s like the old saying attributed to Confucius which goes something like, “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you’ve fed him for a lifetime.” If you advise or give an answer to someone, it will be a temporary solution as compared to teaching the principles or the tools for ascertaining his own unique solutions. Meditation is the tool or technique which allows the latter by allowing the connection to the insight within. It allows one to make friends with one’s own mind, one’s own clarity, one’s own strength.

Also since it honors each individual’s uniqueness and magnificence, it’s not hurried or rushed. The process or technique never forces any insight without the readiness of the meditator. Insights are allowed by the meditator as per his own path of least resistance, his own readiness.

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
– Lao Tzu

And nature’s brilliance and magnificence is a sight to behold.

Probably every culture on planet earth has given some sort of mental practice that can be termed as meditation. Meditation is a practice by which an individual uses different techniques to calm and focus the mind. There are many different types of meditation like mindfulness, Transcendental meditation, Zen meditation, mantra meditation, Sound meditation and many others from so many lineages and teachers of meditation. Each one of them has value depending on the resonance felt by the meditator.

Mindfulness meditation combines concentration with awareness which together lead to insight. Both concentration and awareness work like a team and are important in order to allow insights. Concentration results in a state of calm, stillness and tranquility during the meditation. There is sweet relief, rest and respite in this place of deep calm, silence and a quiet mind. Combining concentration with awareness leads to an unbroken continuous awareness in the present moment. This state of concentration (leading to calm and tranquility) and awareness together can be thought of like a “receptive state” or a mind that is able to allow, receive, translate or interpret the insights and clarity within.

One can carry mindfulness to day-to-day activities too. Whenever one is resting one’s attention in the present moment and in whatever one is doing, i,e, one is being in the present moment and being awake to life, one is being mindful. As one practices mindfulness more often everyday, the momentum is allowed to be more predominant and consistent. Realisation of ideas, inspirations, answers, clarity and insight can come in at any time and not just during the sitting mindfulness meditation.

Being in the present moment, being immersed in the activity one is doing – focus, concentration, calm and awareness are what can be referred to as “being in the flow” or what athletes call “being in the zone”. It seems like time has slowed down. One’s senses are in heightened awareness of the present moment, of the here and now. One is aligned with the task at hand or the creative activity or the physical work. This combination is when the inspiration for the composition is realized, this is when the idea for the next scene in the book one is writing comes in, when the ball goes into the hoop, this is when the answer for something at work or in one’s business comes in. Authors, composers, inventors have long realized that until and unless they are not in the flow, nothing flows. The good news is that this state of flow is available and accessible to all and can be practised in the formal sitting mindfulness meditation as well as in everyday activities too.

Though it must be mentioned here that the purpose of meditation is not solving problems or getting answers but it is the meditation itself whether in a formal sitting meditation or carrying mindfulness to everyday activities. When one meditates in order for something to come out of it, as a means to an end, then one keeps calculating and judging each step. When one is completely immersed in the sitting meditation or totally immersed in the activity one is doing in the present moment with mindfulness just for the sake of the meditation or the activity itself, i.e. one is being in the moment, then one just lets it all unfold and easily allows the flow.

Bhante Gunaratna, in his book, “Mindfulness in Plain English”, writes that mindfulness is extremely difficult to define not because it is complex but because it is simple and open. Mindfulness meditation is inherently experiential and not theoretical. In meditation, one is one’s own laboratory. Mindfulness can be experienced and it can be described,as long as you keep in mind that the words are only fingers pointing at the moon, they are not the moon itself. The actual experience lies beyond the words. According to Bhante Gunaratna, mindfulness can be described in completely different terms than the way he uses in his book and each description would be correct. I feel that Bhante Gunratna says this because mindfulness is such a living activity, it is so experiential.

The purpose of mindfulness is to clearly see our experiences without any reflections, without any memory, without any judgement or story about them. It is to see our reality for what it is, to see it in its preconceptual awareness, without adding or taking away anything from it. When we first become aware of something, there is a fleeting moment of pure awareness about it before we identify it. Something like when we wake up in the morning, for a fleeting moment, our mind has just a soft awareness before any thought starts to come in. This is a flowing soft moment of pure awareness and according to Bhante Gunaratna, it’s like what we see with our peripheral vision as opposed to the hard focus of normal or central vision. This soft flowing moment of pure awareness is mindfulness. This moment contains a very deep knowing. Mindfulness meditation is the use of techniques to prolong this moment of awareness. Mindfulness is learning to observe our thoughts without getting caught up in them and this is what makes it resistance-free, free of any struggle – the soft slowing moment of pure awareness of just being in the moment. When this moment is prolonged, the experience is deep and profound of the knowing, the insight, the clarity within. Mindfulness is cultivating the mind with the aim of seeing in a special way that leads to insight and understanding.

Mindfulness helps in sharpening one’s focus, managing stress effectively as well as recharging and renewing one’s energy. Daniel Goleman, a Harvard psychologist and Richard J. Davidson, a neuroscientist at the University of Wisconsin provide proven benefits of mindfulness in order to thrive in uncertainty and unpredictable environments. Their book, “Altered Traits” sheds light on these proven benefits – staying calm and open minded, mental agility, ability to perform complex cognitive tasks and maintaining focus and clarity.

According to an article by Christian Greiser and Jan-Philipp Martini of the Boston Consulting Group, Aetna has demonstrated the benefits of mindfulness by a reported stress level reduction of 28% which led to a secondary benefit – productivity improvements estimated at $ 3000 per employee. Mindfulness was introduced gradually in the company leading to these benefits. In the field of sports, NBA coach Phil Jackson introduced the Chicago Bulls and Los Angeles Lakers to mindfulness. Mindfulness is taught to the politicians in the British parliament to help them make better decisions on public policy.

Mindfulness is a very gentle technique but it is very thorough. Through our inner experiences, we seek to understand life, existence, reality and the world. Simply put, mindfulness helps experience ourselves and the world through a process of self discovery. In this sense, it’s an inside-out approach.

“Mindfulness is intimacy with life.”

– Oren Jay Sofer

As one continues practicing everyday in a formal mindfulness meditation session as well as carrying mindfulness to everyday tasks, one finds oneself allowing an acceptance based focus, love, kindness, compassion, lightness of being, joyful and energetic vibe. Life experiences become so much more richer when one starts living one’s authentic self consciously. For example, one’s daily walk becomes so much more with mindfulness than without as one can feel the breeze against one’s skin, hear the leaves rustle up as they move in the breeze, hear the different birds chirp, feel as each foot lands on the ground, feel how the legs and arms move, being aware of one’s breath. One is more open and aware. As Oren Jay Sofer says, mindfulness is getting intimate with life. Of course the mind gets distracted and wanders away. This is absolutely natural for the mind to wander away and when one becomes aware, one can gently bring one’s awareness back to the present moment. It is mindfulness which makes one aware that the distraction has occurred and it is mindfulness which redirects the attention to the present moment or the object of focus. Mindfulness is cultivated by gently reminding oneself to be in a state of awareness of the present moment.

In a similar way, when we eat more mindfully, we savor each mouthful, we taste the different flavors, we smell the aroma and appreciate the gift food is. Mindfulness also helps in being aware of the choices one wants to make when we want to reach for more beyond our hunger or beyond what we would like to eat. Mindfulness helps in being aware of the richness of life and also helps in discernment. Intentionally slowing down and becoming aware of day-to-day activities like eating, walking, sipping a cup of tea, tying shoe laces, solving problems in intensive calculus, cooking, exercising, brushing our teeth etc – whatever the present moment is, allows one to penetrate far more deeply into them than one otherwise could. As one practices this, one finds that profound revelations occur during sitting meditation and also as we become more mindful in the midst of day-to-day activities.

Another benefit of mindfulness is that it helps in avoiding the reacting out of habit in situations as one is cultivating calm, focus and awareness and connecting to the clarity within. As one practices mindfulness, it enables one to choose consciously to act rather than react on reflex from behavior patterns developed over time. In an article on, Leonard Riskin, the C.A. Leedy Professor of Law and director of the Center for the Study of Dispute Resolution and the Initiative on “Mindfulness in Law and Dispute Resolution” at the University of Missouri-Columbia School of Law shares that mindfulness can help mediators in many ways one of which is being aware of one’s habitual impulses. Professor Ricken shares an example here to illustrate this point – if a client begins to raise his voice and the mediator begins to feel anxiety, the mediator’s normal reaction would be to insist the client lower his voice. However, if one is really mindful, one can become aware of one’s anxiety and decide whether to carry out one’s habitual impulse to quiet the client or decide to release one’s anxiety. If one is aware of one’s anxiety, sometimes that anxiety without judgement is enough to dissipate the anxiety and to have less power over oneself. Mindfulness can also help in releasing the impulse to react in a certain way.

One would have seen in one’s experience that it takes time for a negative emotion to build up. For example, initially irritation leads to anger which can lead to rage. As one starts feeling irritated and if one is mindful, it’s easier to become aware of irritation right in the beginning stages. At this point, one can decide whether to progress on to anger or to release the irritation on one’s own. Practicing mindfulness makes it easier to become aware and choose the latter, to practise pivoting and hence feeling more empowered and free from the ups and downs of life. As one practices mindfulness, from this place of strength, it’s easier to be tuned in and tapped in to the insight within.

It’s wonderful to see that experienced meditators are jovial and can chuckle at their own mistakes with love and kindness for themselves and for others. They know that they too have had struggles and are able to feel compassion for themselves and from this place of strength for others. Happiness, being non-judgemental, compassion, love and kindness are some attributes which get nurtured with mindfulness.

As one touches base with the awareness within, one allows oneself to feel refreshed every time they connect. Focus, awareness and concentration are cultivated. Being in the present moment consciously, deliberately and on purpose helps in feeling free. Being in the present moment can be tremendously nurturing, healing and restorative. Being in the present moments also helps in having an attitude of non-striving, a resistance-free attitude in which you can focus on your dreams, goals and things-to-do from a place of beingness, a place of alignment, a place of ease and strength and therefore, increase your effectiveness manifold. Observing without analysis, acknowledging and letting go helps in further feeling free, feeling lighter, calmer and moving forward. The practice allows one to connect with the insight, clarity and wisdom within, predominantly and consistently. The best thing is that all this happens spontaneously as one continues practicing consciously, consistently and predominantly, as per one’s unique and beautiful path of least resistance. Mindfulness starts to pour into one’s life more and more effortlessly in unplanned and spontaneous ways. It’s a beautiful unique automatic spontaneous allowing as per one’s readiness of ease, calm, well-being, compassion, love, kindness, clarity, insight, resilience and growth.

“Let the waters settle and you will see the stars and moon mirrored in your being” – Rumi


Photo Credit – Zac Durant via

Forgiveness, ease and freedom

“Today I decided to forgive you. Not because you apologized, or because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me, but because my soul deserves peace.”

– Najwa Zebian

What is forgiveness? Forgiveness, in very simple words, is when you decide to let go of the pain and be the joyful, appreciative and loving person that you actually are. When you forgive, you are not saying that the act committed (or the series of acts committed) are justified or okay. They never will be.

When you forgive, you are letting go of all the anger, the pain and the resentment and thereby, allowing in the joy, the appreciation, the love that you so want to feel. Don’t you like it when you are in joy? Don’t you feel good when you find yourself appreciating things/people/places/experiences? Don’t you find love such a wonderful feeling? The answer to these questions is yes and you do that because that’s who you are, that’s who your inner self is. When you hold yourself in anger (however justified it may be), you are far away from your true inner self and you feel pain in that separation. You don’t like it but it’s so difficult to let go as the resentment feels so justified.

Yes, forgiveness can be difficult but living in anger, resentment, pain, hatred every time you think about it – isn’t that difficult too?

You may decide to continue the relationship or continue the relationship and also reach out for help or you may decide to either temporarily or permanently end the relationship and firstly get to a place where you feel safe … – whatever you choose as per what gives you the most relief (i.e. as per your path of least resistance which only you know), what is more important is what you feel within.

Forgiveness means letting go of the pain, the anger and the resentment in your heart and feeling the relief that you so much want to feel. Forgiveness means looking at the situation, whenever you feel ready to, in a way which makes you feel relief and therefore, closer to the ease you want to feel. Forgiveness is your gift to yourself.

“Forgive because you deserve it.”

― Abraham-Hicks

Forgiveness can come up many times in our unique and beautiful journeys as the day-to-day experiences that make the tapestry of our lives are of great significance to us. Through the life coaching work that I do with my clients and what I see around makes me feel that it can be of help to remind ourselves of its value.

In the situations that one feels the desire to think about it, usually it does not happen in one swoop. It can be felt in one go by some people in some situations but generally it’s a process based on one’s path of least resistance. Initiating forgiveness by keeping one’s path of least resistance in mind makes it easier.

Affirming, for everyone, more and more moments of letting go of the resistance and letting in of relief, of ease, of feeling better than earlier. I feel the year – “2020” signifies something on the lines of a version “2.0” of ourselves for many of us who are willing and ready to start the process of letting go of the struggle, the resistance, the pain and letting in of the relief, the fresh air, the song in our hearts….letting in of the feeling of being empowered and free.

Affirming for everyone a beautiful 2020 filled with moments of ease, peace and joy!

The value of pain

“There will be a time, not so far from now, that you will look back on this phase of your life and instead of condemning it or beating up on it… instead of blaming or guilting, you will feel appreciation for it, because you will understand that a renewed desire for life was born out of this time period that will bring you to physical heights that you could not have achieved without the contrast that gave birth to this desire.”

– Abraham-Hicks

Excerpted from the workshop in Boston, MA on Saturday, October 4th, 1997.

Every topic has an “unwanted” and a “wanted” – for example, when you see someone being rude (unwanted), you desire to see kind people (wanted), when you see poverty (unwanted), you desire to see prosperity (wanted), when you see illness (unwanted), there is a desire born within to see good health (wanted)….

Therefore, even though contrast (i.e. the presence of unwanted and wanted) may be painful but it has value as it helps you clarify your desires (i.e. what you want) in a much more stronger, sharper and clearer way than before that contrast and when you allow your desires, you allow yourself to grow into newer places – a more healthier you, a more prosperous you, you allow more of the kind of people you like in your life, a more vibrant you, a more energetic you…. If we were happy “100% of the time”, chances are the we won’t feel the desire for more, the desire to expand beyond where we are. Of course, the practice here is to focus as easily as you can, as per your path of least resistance, on the desire which life has helped inspire within you (out of that contrast) and therefore allow it. The practice here is pivoting to the desire which has been born within you because of the contrast and thereby, allowing it to manifest in your physical reality easily and in its full potential.

If you are going through contrast and feeling negative emotion (esp. in the initial stages of giving birth to the desire to see/live what you want), a few things can facilitate the ease you so want to feel – firstly, knowing that it’s okay to feel negative emotion. You are human and being kind towards yourself has value. Negative emotion is part of the inner guidance you were born with. All it’s doing is telling you that you have given birth to a desire and in the moments in which you are feeling negative emotion, you are not a match to your desire. What this means is that you want your desire because you believe that you will feel positive emotions when you manifest your desire but in the moments when you are feeling negative emotion, you are not feeling what your desire feels like, what you believe your desire will make you feel once it manifests in your physical reality and therefore, the negative emotion is telling you that as of that moment, you are not a match to your desire. There is a separation between you and your desire, vibrationally in the moments of negative emotion, however justified the negative emotion may be. You may be right but you are not happy and happy is what you want to be (that is why you want what you desire…it is that feeling that you are targeting through your desire).

The law of attraction states – “like attracts like” which means you got to feel what your desire will make you feel once it manifests in order for it to manifest easily. The part which requires a little effort initially is to feel the same or similar feelings as that of one’s desire even though it has not yet manifested. The good news is that you can.

As per your unique path of least resistance, whenever you feel ready, you can do things which make you feel good (which, as written earlier, is the also the reason you want your desire i.e. to feel good). If you can focus on your desire and feel good, that’s great but for many people, this may be difficult esp. in the initial stages which is pretty understandable. We are all human and its of value to be kind towards ourselves. A suggestion here is that if you can’t go specific, go general i.e. focus on topics which may not be connected to the topic of your specific desire but are easy for you to feel good about. These can be – meditating, indulging in a hobby, thinking about pleasant memories, taking a walk next to nature, getting a relaxing massage, having a warm relaxing bath, talking with a trustworthy and supportive friend etc – something which resonates with you and hence is easy for you to do and makes you feel good. Once you are feeling good consistently and predominantly, chances are high that you will be able to focus on the specific topic of your desire in a way that makes you feel better about it – i.e. now you are being a match to your desire.

I must share that many times, as you go general, you will allow the specific desire that you have to manifest in your physical reality even though you were not focusing specifically on it. This happens because just by feeling good (in general and ways that are easy for you), you became a match to your desire but just in case, it hasn’t yet manifested even though you are practicing your positive feeling thoughts throughout the day every day, chances are high that at some point (as per your unique and beautiful path of least resistance), you would be feeling ready to go specific and find things to feel good about in that specific situation/contrast of yours, thereby being a match to the desire within you. How much time will it take to become a match depends on two things – what is happening within you vibrationally and how committed you are to feeling good everyday throughout the day.

In all this, it is of value to remember these words from Abraham-Hicks – “you will never get it done and you cannot get it wrong”. You will always be giving birth or amending desires. It’s an eternal journey and it’s also unique with no right or wrong. Each one of us is eternal consciousness and in this eternal, ever expanding and boundaryless universe, each one of us has our own beautiful and individual journey. Knowing that this process will always be there (i.e. giving birth to desires) can help in your allowing ease for yourself along the journey, in making peace with what gives you pain, in enjoying the journey to allowing all that life has helped inspiring within you and therefore taking you further beyond where you were earlier to the contrast. We cannot help but grow into more, the question is – are you going to go along with your growth (by being a match to it, vibrationally) or are you going to keep yourself apart from your own growth/desire?

Also knowing that it is contrast which helps you to grow and expand further beyond where you have been before that contrast (and therefore, has value) helps to find thoughts of relief about it, whenever you are ready to. An example here – the desire for good health is stronger in a person after he has been sick as compared to before that sickness. As he allows his desire, coming out of this contrast, by being a match to it, he manifests even better health levels in his life. Now even science is recognizing the mind-body connection, something that healers across centuries have known.

A question can arise here – What are you expanding into? To answer this question, I am sharing yet another Abraham-Hicks quote below –

“Do you understand that what you’re creating is YOU?
You’re not creating money, you’re creating a more prosperous YOU.
You’re creating a more abundant YOU.
You’re creating a YOU with greater ease. You’re creating a YOU with greater opportunity.
You’re creating a YOU with greater opportunity for more fun. It’s YOU. You are the expander of YOU.
You are the creator of YOU, you see.”

Out of the very situation which is painful, something which pleases you will come out and you will be able to experience it with your physical senses when you allow it by being a match to it. In the moments of pain, you may not be able to see what good will come out if it but knowing that this is the way the creation (and allowing) of life experiences happens helps in finding thoughts of ease, as and when you feel ready to, which further helps in allowing your growth, your expansion into more.


Photo credit – Suzanne D. Williams via

Love yourself

“I love myself exactly as I am. I no longer wait to be perfect in order to love myself.”

– Louise Hay

You may have a desire to introduce changes in your life and you can choose to introduce them with love in your heart for yourself, your life, your body, your essence…. when you are loving, kind and gentle with yourself, the journey to where you want to be becomes so much more easier.

“You are perfect as you are and ever-expanding into more”.

– Abraham-Hicks


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It feels so good when you start loving yourself

What if you simply committed yourself to loving yourself more this year?

Allowing more feel-good moments on a daily basis, moments which find you feeling ease, moments where you have a spring in your step, moments which make you feel happy to be alive, which help in you in feeling good more often. From this place of strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to those that you would want to be of value to.

In all this, the suggestion is to distract yourself from negative feeling thoughts by pivoting to topics which are easy for you to feel good about and most important, being easy with yourself when you find yourself not being able to distract yourself. You are human and it’s okay if you have moments of negative emotion. You don’t like them as you find them painful and you like feeling positive emotion because that is your essence – pure positive energy. It’s a practice, it’s a moment to moment choice on a daily basis. Even for people who feel ecstasy on a rather regular basis, it’s a choice in any moment.

Of course, it gets easier as you practice but yes, it is a practice for all of us. We all have our own beautiful unique individual journeys, we are all ever-expanding into more, we are all a work-in progress and keeping this in mind helps in feeling ease wherever you are in your beautiful journey. This ease you feel helps in making it easy for you to be matched up by the law of attraction with the full potential of what you want as per your unique path of least resistance and it also makes the journey to what you want filled with more and more feel-good moments. You enjoy the destination so much more when you arrive and you also enjoy the journey, predominantly and consistently. This is not the only way to allow your desires in life but it is an easy and effective way.

“We are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings immersed in a human experience.”

– Wayne Dyer


Affirming a great 2019 for everyone. Happy New Year! 🙂


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Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Affirming more and more moments of appreciation and thanksgiving for everyone 🙂

“I’m going to be happy. I’m going to skip. I’m going to be glad. I’m going to smile a lot. I’m going to be easy. I’m going to count my blessings. I’m going to look for reasons to feel good. I’m going to dig up positive things from the past. I’m going to look for positive things where I stand. I’m going to look for positive things in the future. It is my natural state to be a happy person. It’s natural for me to love and to laugh. This is what is most natural for me. I am a happy person!”

– Abraham-Hicks


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Feeling relief when in fear

What fear is … a feeling I have when I am holding a desire in my conscious attention and a belief that contradicts it in the same moment.

– Abraham-Hicks

Examples of the above – desiring financial prosperity and believing that it will be difficult for you to get it or desiring a recovery from a particular illness and having a belief that the recovery you desire is rare and difficult. Basically, fear is the negative emotion (or one of the negative emotions) that you feel when you think the thought – “I can’t have what I want.”

The good news is that if you want and if you feel ready to, you can change your beliefs in order to align them with your desires as per your path of least resistance 🙂

You do that by soothing yourself thought by thought, moment by moment, as per your own beautiful, unique and individual pace whenever you feel ready to do so. Initially distracting yourself to topics which are easy for you to appreciate helps in feeling relief more often and then from this place of relief and strength, if one wants and feels ready to, one can soothe oneself on the topic one feels fear on.

Of course, pre-paving on a daily basis helps in not only reducing the frequency of life experiences which have the potential for you to choose fear but it also reduces the intensity of the fear that you feel when in them and hence helps in your regaining your balance easily as compared to before you started pre-paving. Pre-paving means allowing more feel-good moments (i.e. moments in which you are feeling relief, moments in which you are feeling good, moments in which you have a spring in your step, moments in which you have a song in your heart, moments in which you are relaxed, positive emotion feeling moments…) and as you do so predominantly and consistently, you develop vibrational muscles, you develop sea legs, you develop good shock absorbers in life. The action you feel inspired to from this place of strength is so much more than from a place of lack. This is not the only way to react to fear but it is an easy and effective way.


“When you fear anything, don’t take the next step or do something you’re afraid to do. There are a lot of people that will say: “Oh just push through it, and when you push through it, then you’ll get over being afraid of it.”

And we encourage you to do instead is to come into alignment with what you want first by finding the thoughts that feel good, because fear is there for a reason.

The fear is saying: “there’s resistance within you, that is going to attract some of what you want and some of what you don’t want.

Why not clean it up before you take action?



Bless you fear, thank you for pointing out that I just blocked something that I want, with a bogus habit of thought, that doesn’t apply and has no relevance to where I am now and where I’m going. THAT’S the nugget we’ve been reaching for, that’s the taking thought beyond which it has been before, that’s why we want you to make peace with your negative emotion, that’s why we want you to understand what it is, that’s why we want you to stop standing in a place being mad at yourself or someone else, feeling negative emotion.

Bless you fear. You’re reminding me that I’ve got some vibrational work to do. You’re not here to remind me that I can’t have what I want, you’re just here to remind me that I’m not ready for what I want yet.

Thank you negative emotion for reminding me of amplifying the thought, that there is something that I keenly want, to which I’m not in the vibrational vicinity of, but I have the ability to close that Gap with a little bit of effort.”

– Abraham-Hicks


Photo credit – Radu Florin via

The wound has value


“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

– Rumi

It does not have to be this way but for most people who allow themselves to reconnect in their own, beautiful, unique and individual way with who they are, with the light that is within as well as surrounding them at all times, the clear desire to heal the wound, the strong desire for well-being, the sharp desire for feeling free and happy is the reason to start allowing the reconnection. The wound helps in making this desire clearer, stronger and sharper as compared to before the wound. When one has a strong desire and allows it in one’s physical reality by being a match to it vibrationally, one starts living life empowered and free.

This is the value of the wound. It can help in choosing to allow unconditional happiness more often and when one allows and practices unconditional happiness every day throughout the day, one allows the feeling of empowerment, freedom, worthiness, joy, love and appreciation, predominantly and consistently. We are pure positive energy and we love the moments in which we are feeling the essence of who we are, moments where we are “in the flow” or what athletes call – “being in the zone”. Composers, authors, artists, inventors etc. have long realized that if they are not in the flow, nothing flows.

The wound may be painful but it does have value in helping us grow beyond where we were into a place of true freedom – i.e. freedom from needing conditions to be met before we can be happy. Yes, it is a practice and that is the work for all of us on a daily basis – choosing a better feeling thought on a moment to moment, thought to thought basis (on the topic of the wound, if we feel ready to or by distracting ourselves to any other topic which is easy for us to appreciate in that moment) as per our own beautiful and unique pace, our individual path of least resistance. The journey is eternal.

One of the awesome results of this unconditional happiness is that we allow the law of attraction to match us up with more to be even more happy about as we are already in the same or similar vibration/feeling predominantly and consistently (not always but predominantly and consistently). Even if one can feel positive emotions 55% of the time every day, one would have managed to allow a substantial change in one’s predominant and consistent vibrations and hence of what one allows to manifest in one’s life. The better it gets, the better it gets.


Photo Credit – Christopher Sardegna via

The most important relationship you have is with yourself

“If you do not love yourself totally, wholly, and fully, somewhere along the way you learned not to. You can unlearn it. Start being kind to yourself now.”

– Louise Hay


Babies love themselves just the way they are. Have you ever heard a baby say or rather look like they are feeling – “I don’t like my hands” or “I wish my body was different”? 🙂 . They are just so happy to be here in this life. They have this awe for themselves, for everything that they discover around them, for life. You were also like that. Some of us have managed to retain the connection to this place of love for ourselves, predominantly and consistently. Many of such people (i.e. who managed to remain connected to this place of love for themselves, no matter what) have been accused of being “stubborn” (and stubborn here being considered a negative trait or quality by those accusing) by those that did not understand how they could not look at themselves in the way the world looked at them (or a trait in them) from its place of disconnection. This is not to blame those around who saw others from a place of disconnection. They were doing the best according to their knowing and understanding. Understanding where they were coming from is important not to be kind and gentle with them (though if you want to be, that is great but typically, it does not come in one fell swoop for most people and that is okay, we are human.) but to be kind and gentle with ourselves. Understanding those who were disconnected themselves (and hence could not feel appreciation and love for others, predominantly and consistently) can lead to feeling relief and that is a place that we would want to be in – a place of feeling better.

Those of us who have lost that connection can reconnect whenever we want to and feel ready to. All it takes is a desire and depending on your readiness, you allow more and more feel-good moments on a daily basis about things which are easy for you to appreciate. When you are predominantly and consistently in this place of feeling positive emotions (or in the vicinity of them) in ways that are easy for you, chances are that you will be able to look at yourself and say – “hmm, not bad” or “there are things that I like in myself”….as you practice this good-feeling place, chances are high that (again depending on your readiness which is different for different people as we all have our own, unique, individual and beautiful journeys which I totally respect) you will reach a place where you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be able to, with ease and love in your heart, say “I love you” or “I love myself” or “I am so happy to be me” or “I am thrilled to be me”. As you start “feeling” these words towards yourself, initially you may find yourself having tears in your eyes. The tears here are an indicator that the process of reconnection is getting stronger as the layers of resistance/struggle/negative thoughts are being allowed to be shed by you, as per your unique and beautiful pace.

Loving yourself is not arrogance of vanity (Louise Hay said that these are from a place of fear and not love). Loving ourselves is acknowledging and appreciating the magnificent creation of life that we are. Living life from this place of love, appreciation and strength predominantly and consistently not only makes our journey easier but it also allows the law of attraction to match us with so much more which is easy to appreciate. We start living as the leading-edge creators we intended to be when we decided to come in this time-space-reality which is a great place to be in but at the same time, I would suggest don’t do it for being the leading-edge creator that you want to be, love yourself for the joy it brings to your heart, for the sense of freedom, worthiness and empowerment that it reconnects you to. Love yourself because it feels so good. Everything else that you want will be allowed more easily and in its full potential by you in your life from this place of love as that is law (the law of attraction) but my suggestion is to love yourself just for the feeling of it. Feel good because it feels so good to feel good 🙂

Photo credit – Mikail Duran via

An easy, simple and effective solution for allowing all that you want in your life

“Appreciation is the magic formula you’ve been seeking.”

– Abraham-Hicks

When you focus predominantly and consistently on topics which are easy for you to appreciate, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with even more to appreciate. As you continue practicing your good-feeling thoughts predominantly and consistently, you start allowing more moments on a daily basis where you are feeling positive emotions. In this place of strength (rather than lack), chances are high that you will be able to look at topics which were painful for you earlier in a way that makes you feel better, in a way which provides you relief. More often than not, because of your new, improved, consistent and predominant vibrations, you will find that those topics have resolved in a way which you appreciate but if they have not, chances are high that you will be able to look at them in a way which provides relief. As you do so, you allow even more feel-good moments than earlier and thereby allow the law of attraction to match you up with more to feel good about. The easier it gets, the easier it gets. The better it gets, the better it gets.

Negative emotion has value as it helps you give birth to new desires and/or amend earlier desires. Positive emotion is what you allow your desires through. Both have value.

It’s so empowering to realize that the key to life is so simple and so effective.


Photo credit – Myung Won Set via

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