Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: loving ourselves

The most important relationship you have is with yourself

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On September 5, 2018

In Uncategorized

“If you do not love yourself totally, wholly, and fully, somewhere along the way you learned not to. You can unlearn it. Start being kind to yourself now.”

– Louise Hay

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Babies love themselves just the way they are. Have you ever heard a baby say or rather look like they are feeling – “I don’t like my hands” or “I wish my body was different”? 🙂 . They are just so happy to be here in this life. They have this awe for themselves, for everything that they discover around them, for life. You were also like that. Some of us have managed to retain the connection to this place of love for ourselves, predominantly and consistently. Many of such people (i.e. who managed to remain connected to this place of love for themselves, no matter what) have been accused of being “stubborn” (and stubborn here being considered a negative trait or quality by those accusing) by those that did not understand how they could not look at themselves in the way the world looked at them (or a trait in them) from its place of disconnection. This is not to blame those around who saw others from a place of disconnection. They were doing the best according to their knowing and understanding. Understanding where they were coming from is important not to be kind and gentle with them (though if you want to be, that is great but typically, it does not come in one fell swoop for most people and that is okay, we are human.) but to be kind and gentle with ourselves. Understanding those who were disconnected themselves (and hence could not feel appreciation and love for others, predominantly and consistently) can lead to feeling relief and that is a place that we would want to be in – a place of feeling better.

Those of us who have lost that connection can reconnect whenever we want to and feel ready to. All it takes is a desire and depending on your readiness, you allow more and more feel-good moments on a daily basis about things which are easy for you to appreciate. When you are predominantly and consistently in this place of feeling positive emotions (or in the vicinity of them) in ways that are easy for you, chances are that you will be able to look at yourself and say – “hmm, not bad” or “there are things that I like in myself”….as you practice this good-feeling place, chances are high that (again depending on your readiness which is different for different people as we all have our own, unique, individual and beautiful journeys which I totally respect) you will reach a place where you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be able to, with ease and love in your heart, say “I love you” or “I love myself” or “I am so happy to be me” or “I am thrilled to be me”. As you start “feeling” these words towards yourself, initially you may find yourself having tears in your eyes. The tears here are an indicator that the process of reconnection is getting stronger as the layers of resistance/struggle/negative thoughts are being allowed to be shed by you, as per your unique and beautiful pace.

Loving yourself is not arrogance of vanity (Louise Hay said that these are from a place of fear and not love). Loving ourselves is acknowledging and appreciating the magnificent creation of life that we are. Living life from this place of love, appreciation and strength predominantly and consistently not only makes our journey easier but it also allows the law of attraction to match us with so much more which is easy to appreciate. We start living as the leading-edge creators we intended to be when we decided to come in this time-space-reality which is a great place to be in but at the same time, I would suggest don’t do it for being the leading-edge creator that you want to be, love yourself for the joy it brings to your heart, for the sense of freedom, worthiness and empowerment that it reconnects you to. Love yourself because it feels so good. Everything else that you want will be allowed more easily and in its full potential by you in your life from this place of love as that is law (the law of attraction) but my suggestion is to love yourself just for the feeling of it. Feel good because it feels so good to feel good 🙂

Photo credit – Mikail Duran via unsplash.com

Love you, Louise Hay

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On September 5, 2017

In Uncategorized

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“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.”

– Louise Hay

(October 8, 1926 – August 30, 2017)

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Somewhere in 2001, I picked up this book by Louise Hay – “You can heal your life” at one of my favorite book stores in New Delhi, India – Fact and Fiction, Vasant Vihar.

Though it took me time to fully absorb the meaning of what Louise wrote in it, this book started my inner work journey. Over the years, depending on my readiness, I got to understand what the book was saying. I went on to read many more of her books, see her videos and listen to the CDs. It’s been great reconnecting to myself, to the whole of who I am and living life from this place of strength. Thank you, Louise, for introducing me to loving myself, no matter what and for sharing how we can love ourselves and I thank myself for allowing myself to reconnect to that love in my life.

Though my Psychology background introduced me to some great work about human psyche and through the years up until now, I have been fortunate to read deep, profound thoughts by some other amazing teachers, Louise Hay holds a special place in my heart.

It is awesome to live life from this place of love and strength and to be able to show those who are ready and therefore, open, willing and receptive the same through the fulfilling work that I do. I hardly call it “work” in the traditional sense of the word – it’s my passion, my calling. It’s awesome to have so much fun in my life and to be able to share “how” I am living such a beautiful life with those who are interested and ready to know. I love seeing the wonderful experiences that I have allowed and am allowing in my life and the beautiful experiences my clients (and also those who are not my clients) have allowed and are allowing in their lives – so much fun! I am glad that what Louise started is impacting so many lives through so many avenues – books, CDs, videos, teachers, her website, Facebook etc.

Next to Louise Hay’s book in this pic is a note which my son wrote when he was three years of age (he is now 9 years of age). In this note, he is affirming that he loves himself…something which Louise Hay taught and further he has written that he loves me too. My son had just started learning alphabets in preschool when he wrote this note which makes it even more cute and special for me as a parent. He used to see me saying my affirmations and doing mirror work at home and just by observing (without me telling him to do this), he absorbed and wrote this. Children learn so much through osmosis. Abraham say that words seldom teach, experiences do. I feel that it’s only through our own example that we have any chances of teaching those who are ready and willing. It is not a guarantee that the other person will learn (which is absolutely okay too…I understand and respect that ….learning as per our readiness is always of more value than learning by being forced in any way…and each one of us has our own beautiful, unique and individual journey) but chances are high. The value of words is that they can lead to thoughts which can lead to experiences which can lead to reconnecting to that understanding and knowledge deep within us all.

Over the years, as I see my son staying connected predominantly and consistently to who he is, to that “knowing” deep within, loving himself and loving life, I feel extremely happy. One of the lines that he often repeats is – “I love being alive.” I feel a deep personal bond with you, Louise (as do many other people in this world). Even though we never met, you have had such a positive influence on my life (and on the lives of so many awesome teachers in this world) and through me (and all the other teachers too), on the lives of all those who are ready for your beautiful teachings. Thank you so much.

Loving ourselves is not arrogance (Louise said that arrogance is always from a place of fear) but a genuine appreciation for the divine expression of life that we are. That genuine appreciation makes it easier to feel love for ourselves and from that place of love, we are of so much more value to ourselves and to anyone else that we want to be of value to. In addition, when we love ourselves, the changes that we would like to make in us and in our lives, would be made from a place of love which has much more value than changes made from a place of lack or criticism or a focus on the absence of what one wants. Loving ourselves is an empowered, joyful, worthy, loving place full of appreciation. It’s a place where we are feeling what we want to feel – i.e. the fullness of who we truly are – pure, positive energy.

Thank you, Louise, for introducing me to Abraham Hicks. You wrote on your website (this is when I first came to know about Abraham Hicks) about Abraham being the teacher of teachers and I totally agree. Thank you, Louise, for touching the lives of so many people in this world in such a positive way. Thank you, Louise, for being you.

I love you Louise and I know you are with us in a much more whole way than you have ever been. I also know that when I feel love for you, it is me allowing myself to reflect your love for me back to you. You are with us and I love love love you from the bottom of my heart. Every fiber in my being, every cell in my body feels love for you <3

“As I say YES to life, life says YES to me.”

– Louise Hay

 

Is it selfish to love yourself?

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On September 28, 2016

In Uncategorized

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“I don’t recall being encouraged to cherish myself.

In fact, it would never even have occurred to me to do so.

It’s commonly thought as being selfish.

But my near death experience allowed me to realize that this was the key to my healing.”

– Anita Moorjani

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Photo credit – Pixabay.com via pexels.com

How can I love myself?

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On June 6, 2016

In Uncategorized

Sharing a beautiful article by Louise Hay on loving ourselves in 12 ways. This article sheds light on a topic which many find difficult to fathom – “how to” love ourselves.

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daisy-heart-flowers-flower-heart - Pexels - pixabay.com

12 Ways You Can Love Yourself Now

Learn helpful tips for self-love.

– By Louise Hay

I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.

Loving yourself is a wonderful adventure; it’s like learning to fly. Imagine if we all had the power to fly at will? How exciting it would be! Let’s begin to love ourselves now.

Here are 12 Commandments to help you learn how to love yourself:

  1. Stop All Criticism.

Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

  1. Forgive Yourself.

Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.

  1. Don’t Scare Yourself.

Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

  1. Be Gentle and Kind and Patient.

Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

  1. Be Kind to Your Mind.

Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

  1. Praise Yourself.

Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

  1. Support Yourself.

Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

  1. Be Loving to Your Negatives.

Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

  1. Take Care of Your Body.

Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

  1. Do Mirror Work.

Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say, I love you, I really love you!

  1. Love Yourself . . . Do It Now.

Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now—and do the best you can.

  1. Have Fun.

Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!

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Photo credit – pixabay.com via pexels.com

The value of being selfish

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On February 22, 2016

In Uncategorized

Jerry: So, there’s nothing wrong with taking “the coward’s way out”?

Abraham: There are many people who override their own guidance system by trying to please others, and there are many people who will call you “selfish” or “cowardly” when you have the audacity to please yourself rather than them. Often others will call you “selfish” (because you are unwilling to yield to their own selfishness) without realizing the hypocrisy of their demand.

Sometimes, we are accused of teaching selfishness, and we admit that it is true because if you are not selfish enough to tend to your own vibration and therefore hold yourself in alignment with your source (and with-you-really-are), then you have nothing to give to another anyway. When others call you “selfish” or “cowardly,” their own vibrations are clearly out of balance, and a modification of your behavior will not bring them into balance.

flowers among rocky mountains - Ales Krivec

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And even if it does bring them into balance, it will be very temporary. After some time, they will again demand a modification of your behavior in order to feel good. As you continue doing so, you will do them a big disservice as you will teach them to depend on someone else for their happiness whereas they (just like you) have the ability to feel good by focusing on topics in a way which feels good (i.e. everyone can feel good on their own). You will also observe that as you continue modifying your behavior in order to make them happy, their demands keep increasing and as you keep meeting their increasing demands, you start resenting the very relationship you wanted to be of value to. Now you have nothing to give firstly to yourself and also to those that you wanted to give to, as you are now in a place of lack rather than a place of strength.

The only thing which is of value is to focus on good feeling thoughts yourself and when you are predominantly and consistently feeling good, the law of attraction will surround you with experiences who make you feel the same i.e. feel good. Usually, it happens that we feel when we are surrounded by experiences which make it easy for us to feel better. Yes, you do feel better easily if your reality is what you want it to be but the way you create your experiences is by first feeling good yourself even though the experiences you want have not manifested yet.

Thankfully, there are ways to feel good even if you are not living the reality you want. You can nap, you can take a walk next to nature, you can meditate, you can play with your child, you can have a relaxing warm bath, you can appreciate something which is easy for you to appreciate, you can talk to a supportive and trustworthy friend, you can indulge in a hobby etc. As you create more and more feel good moments through these general ways on an every day basis, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with the kind of experiences you want. That is when we start leveraging the power of the universe. That is when people look and say – “it’s a miracle” or that “she/he is lucky” but what you are doing is not unconscious creating; it is deliberate creation at its best. In addition, because now that you are deliberating creating, you can replicate the process in any area of your life wherein you want to change the results. It starts with being selfish enough to use any excuse in order to feel good predominantly and consistently, no matter what your reality is.

The law of attraction states “that which is like unto itself, is drawn” i.e. what you think and therefore feel, attracts more to feel the same. It’s a powerful law just like the law of gravity. We understand the law of gravity and use our knowledge about it to make our lives easier. We can do the same with the law of attraction too.

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Photo credit – Ales Krivec via unsplash.com

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