Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: loving self

Unconditionally loving yourself


“Because we cannot give what we do not have, loving ourselves is absolutely necessary before we can truly love anyone else.”

– Anita Moorjani


I have seen that when people feel a resonance with the above words, they also ask as to how can we love ourselves, what does loving ourselves look like, how does it play out? Therefore, am sharing this wonderful article by Louise Hay on how can we love ourselves –

12 Ways You Can Love Yourself Now

Learn helpful tips for self-love.

I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.

Loving yourself is a wonderful adventure; it’s like learning to fly. Imagine if we all had the power to fly at will? How exciting it would be! Let’s begin to love ourselves now.

Here are 12 Commandments to help you learn how to love yourself:

  1. Stop All Criticism.

Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

  1. Forgive Yourself.

Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.

  1. Don’t Scare Yourself.

Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

  1. Be Gentle and Kind and Patient.

Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

  1. Be Kind to Your Mind.

Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

  1. Praise Yourself.

Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

  1. Support Yourself.

Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

  1. Be Loving to Your Negatives.

Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

  1. Take Care of Your Body.

Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

  1. Do Mirror Work.

Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say, I love you, I really love you!

  1. Love Yourself . . . Do It Now.

Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now—and do the best you can.

  1. Have Fun.

Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!

Let’s affirm: I love myself just the way I am.


If we love ourselves and therefore are happy appreciating the magnificent creation of life that we are, we find it easier to feel good and also to be of value to whoever we may want to be of value to. Loving ourselves is not the same as vanity or arrogance (that is not love, it’s always fear as Louise Hay says). Loving ourselves is genuinely appreciating the incredible beings that we are.

Joseph Campbell said – “follow your bliss” and Abraham call these words as the most profound words ever uttered. I agree. When you follow your bliss, you feel good and then it’s easier to love yourself and when you love yourself, it’s easier to follow your bliss. A never ending cycle of well-being 🙂


Photo credit – via

Learning to say no is deeply empowering

woman- Demeter Attila-

Learning to say no can be very difficult at first because people around you that have been interacting with you have become used to you saying yes. And when you first say no, they get angry. You can expect that reaction. Anybody who is learning to say no has to put up with anger for a while. The first time you say no is the hardest. When you learn to say no, it is very important that you do not make excuses, because the minute you do so, they have got you. The other person can always talk you out of your excuse. Just say a simple no. “No, I can’t do that” “No anymore” “No, I don’t do that anymore”. Any short statement that sends a definite “no” message will do the trick. The other person will obviously get angry, and then you have to know that their anger has nothing to do with you. It has to do with them. Just remember to say to yourself: WHEN I SAY NO TO YOU, I AM SAYING YES TO ME. Repeat this powerful affirmation to yourself, and it will make you feel good. By the time you have said no three times to the other person, he or she will stop asking you, realizing that you have become a different person. You are coming from a different place inside.

It can be very difficult for people-pleasers to say the first no. I remember that I was sweating the first time I stood up for myself. I thought my world would end and that I would lose out. My world did not end; it changed, and I had more self respect. So, realize that this is just a process that you are going to have to go through. Other people get angry because you are not giving, or over giving, and they might even call you selfish. But what they are really saying is that you are not doing what they want you to do. That’s all it means. Remember that when you say no to them, you are saying yes to yourself. You are dissolving your internal resentment at the same time.

– Louise Hay (Empowering women)


Photo credit – Demeter Attila via

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