Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: loving yourself (Page 1 of 9)

The most important relationship is between you and you

“The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself.”

– Diane Von Furstenberg


Loving yourself, nurturing yourself & supporting yourself has immense value for you and for those that you want to be of value to

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Loving yourself

Photo credit – Clem Onojeghuo via unsplash.com

“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either.” – Mandy Hale


The above words could sound a little harsh but they do point to something of tremendous value – the importance of loving yourself.

Instead of looking at others to love you (who may or may not have the ability to offer love and appreciation for you at that point), you can always choose to focus your own loving gaze on yourself 🙂 …..and when you do so predominantly and consistently, you allow the law of attraction to match you up more and more with people who also appreciate you just the way you do and if you do meet someone who does not, it would not matter to you (as much as it may have before you initiated loving yourself everyday) as you, in any case, have reconnected to that genuine love and appreciation for yourself (even before meeting that person). From this place of love and strength, it’s easier to feel good, no matter what and even when you are not in this place of love, chances are high that because of the place of love and strength you are in predominantly and consistently, you will be able to be kind to yourself and be able to easily and gently guide and soothe yourself back, when ready, to the place of feeling good again. You will be living more and more moments on an everyday basis where you are feeling joy, love, appreciation, worthy and free…. – a beautiful place to be in.

Loving yourself may seem like an effort initially but as you go along, it gets easier. It’s like learning a new skill. Yes, it does require every day practice esp. initially. In the initial days, sometimes it may be easy and sometimes, it may not and that is okay. When a baby learns to walk, it does not start running the very first time. Learning to love yourself again is like that. The suggestion is to be kind and gentle with yourself while on this beautiful journey. Knowing that it’s an eternal journey helps in feeling ease more often.

Many times, one may find that unconditional happiness is an easier place to start feeling than unconditional love and that is also okay. In fact, first practicing unconditional happiness and then when ready, as per your beautiful and unique path of least resistance including unconditional love in your daily practice has higher chances of making the process easier.

Louise Hay has said that loving yourself is not vanity or arrogance as that is always from a place of fear….loving yourself means genuinely appreciation the unique and beautiful expression of life that you are. The universe is expressing itself through you. Sharing a quote by Rumi – “Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion”. Carl Sagan has written in his book, Cosmos – ““The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” You are part of this boundaryless, ever-expanding universe. You are so much more than what you can see with your eyes. You are magnificent, just like the universe of which you are a part, a beautiful and unique part.

When you nurture, love and support yourself, when you honor the magnificent creation of life that you are, when you do what makes your heart sing, when you think thoughts that give you relief and help you feel better – in other words, when you practice unconditional happiness and unconditional love, you reconnect to your freedom and to your power. From this place of love and strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.

At the end, sharing a simple, deep, profound and empowering quote by Abraham-Hicks –

“The greatest thing you can give yourself is freedom from what others think.”

It feels so good when you start loving yourself

What if you simply committed yourself to loving yourself more this year?

Allowing more feel-good moments on a daily basis, moments which find you feeling ease, moments where you have a spring in your step, moments which make you feel happy to be alive, which help in you in feeling good more often. From this place of strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to those that you would want to be of value to.

In all this, the suggestion is to distract yourself from negative feeling thoughts by pivoting to topics which are easy for you to feel good about and most important, being easy with yourself when you find yourself not being able to distract yourself. You are human and it’s okay if you have moments of negative emotion. You don’t like them as you find them painful and you like feeling positive emotion because that is your essence – pure positive energy. It’s a practice, it’s a moment to moment choice on a daily basis. Even for people who feel ecstasy on a rather regular basis, it’s a choice in any moment.

Of course, it gets easier as you practice but yes, it is a practice for all of us. We all have our own beautiful unique individual journeys, we are all ever-expanding into more, we are all a work-in progress and keeping this in mind helps in feeling ease wherever you are in your beautiful journey. This ease you feel helps in making it easy for you to be matched up by the law of attraction with the full potential of what you want as per your unique path of least resistance and it also makes the journey to what you want filled with more and more feel-good moments. You enjoy the destination so much more when you arrive and you also enjoy the journey, predominantly and consistently. This is not the only way to allow your desires in life but it is an easy and effective way.

“We are not human beings in search of a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings immersed in a human experience.”

– Wayne Dyer

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Affirming a great 2019 for everyone. Happy New Year! 🙂

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Feeling relief when in fear

What fear is …..is a feeling I have when I am holding a desire in my conscious attention and a belief that contradicts it in the same moment.

– Abraham-Hicks
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Examples of the above – desiring financial prosperity and believing that it will be difficult for you to get it or desiring a recovery from a particular illness and having a belief that the recovery you desire is rare and difficult. Basically, fear is the negative emotion (or one of the negative emotions) that you feel when you think the thought – “I can’t have what I want.”

The good news is that if you want and if you feel ready to, you can change your beliefs in order to align them with your desires as per your path of least resistance 🙂

You do that by soothing yourself thought by thought, moment by moment, as per your own beautiful, unique and individual pace whenever you feel ready to do so. Initially distracting yourself to topics which are easy for you to appreciate helps in feeling relief more often and then from this place of relief and strength, if one wants and feels ready to, one can soothe oneself on the topic one feels fear on.

Of course, pre-paving on a daily basis helps in not only reducing the frequency of life experiences which have the potential for you to choose fear but it also reduces the intensity of the fear that you feel when in them and hence helps in your regaining your balance easily as compared to before you started pre-paving. Pre-paving means allowing more feel-good moments (i.e. moments in which you are feeling relief, moments in which you are feeling good, moments in which you have a spring in your step, moments in which you have a song in your heart, moments in which you are relaxed, positive emotion feeling moments…) and as you do so predominantly and consistently, you develop vibrational muscles, you develop sea legs, you develop good shock absorbers in life. The action you feel inspired to from this place of strength is so much more than from a place of lack. This is not the only way to react to fear but it is an easy and effective way.

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“When you fear anything, don’t take the next step or do something you’re afraid to do. There are a lot of people that will say: “Oh just push through it, and when you push through it, then you’ll get over being afraid of it.”

And we encourage you to do instead is to come into alignment with what you want first by finding the thoughts that feel good, because fear is there for a reason.

The fear is saying: “there’s resistance within you, that is going to attract some of what you want and some of what you don’t want.

Why not clean it up before you take action?

-Abraham-Hicks

 

Bless you fear, thank you for pointing out that I just blocked something that I want, with a bogus habit of thought, that doesn’t apply and has no relevance to where I am now and where I’m going. THAT’S the nugget we’ve been reaching for, that’s the taking thought beyond which it has been before, that’s why we want you to make peace with your negative emotion, that’s why we want you to understand what it is, that’s why we want you to stop standing in a place being mad at yourself or someone else, feeling negative emotion.

Bless you fear. You’re reminding me that I’ve got some vibrational work to do. You’re not here to remind me that I can’t have what I want, you’re just here to remind me that I’m not ready for what I want yet.

Thank you negative emotion for reminding me of amplifying the thought, that there is something that I keenly want, to which I’m not in the vibrational vicinity of, but I have the ability to close that Gap with a little bit of effort.”

– Abraham-Hicks

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The wound has value

 

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

– Rumi
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It does not have to be this way but for most people who allow themselves to reconnect in their own, beautiful, unique and individual way with who they are, with the light that is within as well as surrounding them at all times, the clear desire to heal the wound, the strong desire for well-being, the sharp desire for feeling free and happy is the reason to start allowing the reconnection. The wound helps in making this desire clearer, stronger and sharper as compared to before the wound. When one has a strong desire and allows it in one’s physical reality by being a match to it vibrationally, one starts living life empowered and free.

This is the value of the wound. It can help in choosing to allow unconditional happiness more often and when one allows and practices unconditional happiness every day throughout the day, one allows the feeling of empowerment, freedom, worthiness, joy, love and appreciation, predominantly and consistently. We are pure positive energy and we love the moments in which we are feeling the essence of who we are, moments where we are “in the flow” or what athletes call – “being in the zone”. Composers, authors, artists, inventors etc. have long realized that if they are not in the flow, nothing flows.

The wound may be painful but it does have value in helping us grow beyond where we were into a place of true freedom – i.e. freedom from needing conditions to be met before we can be happy. Yes, it is a practice and that is the work for all of us on a daily basis – choosing a better feeling thought on a moment to moment, thought to thought basis (on the topic of the wound, if we feel ready to or by distracting ourselves to any other topic which is easy for us to appreciate in that moment) as per our own beautiful and unique pace, our individual path of least resistance. The journey is eternal.

One of the awesome results of this unconditional happiness is that we allow the law of attraction to match us up with more to be even more happy about as we are already in the same or similar vibration/feeling predominantly and consistently (not always but predominantly and consistently). Even if one can feel positive emotions 55% of the time every day, one would have managed to allow a substantial change in one’s predominant and consistent vibrations and hence of what one allows to manifest in one’s life. The better it gets, the better it gets.

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Letting go of the struggle

“The less you try to get others to understand your point of view, the clearer your vibration will be and the better you will feel because you’re really asking them to do something that they’re not wired to do.”

– Abraham-Hicks
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It feels nice when others understand you the way you want to be understood but if your happiness depends on other people and their understanding you, you are setting yourself up for frustration. Even the ones who love you and understand you can’t understand you all the time in the way you want to be understood. You may like to consider being happy, no matter what because if you are waiting for the condition to be satisfied (i.e. the condition of their getting you, their understanding you) before you allow yourself to feel positive emotions, you may have a journey which has more struggle than ease. Nothing wrong with that as negative emotion also has value (it helps you give birth to desires and amend earlier desires) but when you can have a journey which is both easy and effective predominantly and consistently, you could consider letting go of the struggle around the topic of other people understanding you.

You don’t let go of your desire to be understood but when you let go of the negative thoughts around this topic, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with people who are more understanding and accepting of others, people who are predominantly and consistently in a place of love and compassion (they are able to extend their understanding and compassion even to those whose actions may not seem justified to them). It’s so interesting that when you decide to not care (not in defiance or any other negative emotion but from a place of having made peace with this topic) and thereby, feel the relief that comes with it, you allow more experiences which make you feel even more of the relief/ ease/ good-feeling place that you are in. You allow more of the people who are a match to your new thoughts/vibrations/feelings on this topic – i.e. who make it easy for you to choose feeling ease. You start allowing the desire (of the kind of life experiences that you want) that life helped inspire within you. As you practice allowing better feeling thoughts, you allow your desire to manifest easily and in its full glory. The easier it gets, the easier it gets.

In all this practice (as per your individual and beautiful pace), if you do meet someone who is not accepting or does not understand you, chances of you choosing a knee-jerk reaction are less as you are practicing your feel-good (or feel better) muscle every day. As you practice predominantly and consistently, due the place of well-being, ease and strength that you are already in (before meeting someone who does not accept or understand you), chances are also high that even if you do choose to have knee-jerk reaction (you are human and it’s of value to be kind and gentle with yourself), you will be able to reconnect to your alignment easily as compared to before you started consciously, predominantly and consistently practicing better feeling thoughts about this topic. You will have better shock absorbers in life.

When you leave others out of the equation (i.e. irrelevant to your focusing on better feeling thoughts), you reconnect to your freedom, to empowerment, to joy, to unconditional alignment. From this place of strength, you are of tremendous value to yourself and to those that you would like to be of value to. At the end of the day, it is a choice – even when it seems that we have no choice (this thought is also something that you choose, either by default or consciously). There is no right or wrong in this. Even though others can agree or disagree with whatever choice you make, it is your own, beautiful, unique and individual journey.

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Loving yourself just the way you are has value

self love-aziz-acharki-unsplash

“I love myself exactly as I am. I no longer wait to be perfect in order to love myself.”

– Louise Hay

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Some may say – “if I accept myself and love myself just the way I am, I will never grow into more! I will never feel the desire to grow and expand more as per my potential! I may just get stuck where I am.” I totally understand and respect where these thoughts are coming from. It may seem like that but you can always grow into more with love in your heart. For example, if you are unwell, you can regain your health with mostly, hope in your heart or with mostly, helplessness. What you are feeling predominantly and consistently (not always but predominantly and consistently) during your recovery will make a world of a difference to the results you get. Now even science is recognizing something healers across the centuries knew – the mind-body connection.

We are ever-evolving beings. “More” is our essence and you can move towards the more that you want with love in your heart for life, for yourself. As Abraham-Hicks say, the best vibrational place to be in – “deeply satisfied where you are and eager for more”. Of course, when you are focused on a topic which makes it tempting for you to feel negative emotion, to have a knee-jerk reaction – that negative emotion helps you in giving birth to new desires and/or amending earlier desires and therefore, even though it may be painful, it has value as it leads to more clarity for you (of what you do not want and therefore, of what you want). At the same time, coming to know or realizing that you don’t have to unhappy where you are in order to want more can be so empowering. It’s about being at a place where you are already feeling the emotions that you want to feel, predominantly and consistently and from there, you want more – more clarity, more moments of confidence, more ideas, more understanding of your beingness, more flowing of thought from a place of feeling positive emotions, more kind people, more abundance, more insight, more moments of unconditional alignment/happiness, more unconditional love towards yourself and for others……

While allowing more of what we want in our lives, it could happen that some of us may feel moments where we are overwhelmed. It is okay to feel moments like this as we are human. It’s of value to be kind and gentle with ourselves. The feeling of being overwhelmed is an indicator that you feel that you have lots to do and have not lined up energy before offering action. If this happens, the suggestion is to soothe yourself and/or distract yourself to something which is easy for you to appreciate. As you feel better (in ways which are easy for you to feel relief), you line up energy and then you can offer the action you feel inspired to offer from that place of alignment/ strength rather than from the earlier place of lack.

You may have noticed that when you feel overwhelmed, you also feel an impulse to take a break or rest which is you listening to your inner guidance (as that period of rest helps in you feeling the relief that you so much want to feel when overwhelmed). You may have also noticed after resting for some time, you start feeling bored and again feel the desire/impulse to do something – this is because our essence (i.e. “more”) calls us… the universe is ever-expanding into more and we are part of the universe so that is our essence too. Of course, all of us have the freedom to choose the more that we want – some may like more ease at the particular point that they are in vibrationally like for example, relaxing at the beach and some like more thrill like being on a roller coaster (both are positive frequencies/vibrations/feelings but are different from each other) and that is so empowering – i.e. the freedom to choose…As Abraham-Hicks say – “you are so free, you can choose bondage”…

When we are happy where we are, when we make peace with where we are (even though we may not have liked it to start with) we allow the more that we want (from where we are) to manifest in our lives “easily” and in its “full potential”. This reminds me of the book title – “Good to Great” by Jim Collins. From good to great and then from great to even greater and so on – ever-expanding into more, always at the leading edge of one’s potential. It is not the only way to live what we want but it is an easy and effective way to live the life experiences that we want, predominantly and consistently.

If you can find ease, if you can connect to the well-being within you and surrounding you, if you can feel relief, if you can feel good, if you can love and appreciate yourself just the way you are, if you can focus in a way which makes you feel positive emotions – you start living life as you intended to live – in a place of joy, freedom, love, appreciation and worthiness, predominantly and consistently. Not that you will never have moments of negative emotion (these moments have value as you give birth to new desires and/or amend your previous desires when you are in a place of negative emotion – when you see illness, you want to see health; when you see poverty, you want to see prosperity; when you see a rude person, you want to see a kind person – moments of negative emotion help you know what you “do not want” and therefore, what you “do want” in a much more stronger, clearer way than before that moment of negative emotion and that clarity helps you in the process of allowing the kind of life experiences that you want….negative emotions may be painful but have value) but because of your practice on a daily basis (i.e. focusing on positive feeling thoughts), chances are high that you would have managed to acquire vibrational muscle and therefore, managed to tilt the balance towards positive feeling thoughts on a more predominant and consistent basis.

The law of attraction states – “like attracts like”. When you focus mostly on thoughts which make it easy for you to feel good, you feel positive emotions, predominantly and consistently and when you are in a place of positive emotions more than negative emotions on a daily basis, you allow this powerful law to match you up with more to feel good. You may be aware of the problems that you feel you have but because of this place of feeling good more often (i.e. a place of strength), you will be able to focus on your problems with a solution-oriented approach. The feeling or the frequency of the solution is different from the frequency of the problem. You want the solution to your problem because you feel that in the having of the solution, you will feel better. It is that feeling that you believe you will feel once you have the solution that you are really targeting (through the solution). If you can feel better even though the solution has not yet manifested, you allow it to manifest easily and in all its glory. Even if you can feel positive emotions 55% of the time on a daily basis, you would have managed to bring about a substantial change in your vibrations and therefore, of what manifests in your life.

If you are at 107.9 FM and want to listen to 106.7 FM, you have to change the dial. The frequencies are different. In the same way, the frequency of the problem (i.e. what you feel when you focus on just the problem) and the frequency of the solution are different. If you want the solution, you may consider feeling the same frequency or in the vicinity of that frequency. You may be aware of the problem but from the periphery so that you are not so wrapped up in it that you can’t see the solution. When you practice being in the same or similar frequency of the solution that you want, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with ideas, impulses and rendezvouses which allow the solution to be realized by you, the words you feel inspired to offer are from a place of being a match to the solution you want, the path lights up. You reconnect to your power.

Choosing feel-good thoughts is a practice, no doubt but just like learning a new skill or a computer program, it gets easier as you go along. By initially practicing thinking about topics which are easy for you to feel good about, you make this process of acquiring “vibrational muscle” easier. When you are mostly in this good-feeling place every day (not always but predominantly and consistently…as written earlier, pain has value as it helps you expand and grow beyond what you were before you felt it …at the same time, positive feeling emotions are what you want to feel more often as that is who you are – pure positive energy…you like it when you feel worthy, love, appreciation, joy, free as these emotions or feelings or frequencies are what your essence is – pure, positive energy), chances are high that you will be able to look at any topic (even if it was painful for you earlier) in a way which makes you feel better and thereby, see the solution “easily”. In most situations, you will see that because of your new and improved vibrational place, the topic which was painful has resolved itself as you have allowed the law of attraction to match you up with the solution but just in case it hasn’t, chances are high that now you will be able to look at it in a way which makes you feel relief, in a solution-oriented way. The suggestion here would be to look at a topic which was painful in a different way only when you feel ready to do so. It’s your own beautiful, unique, individual journey.

By feeling positive emotions predominantly and consistently, you are “in the flow” or what athletes call “being in the zone” (or in its vicinity) more often on an everyday basis and by doing so, you allow yourself to become a match to the solutions you want in a way which is easy and allows the full potential of the solution to be realized by you. You allow yourself to be the creator that you intended to be. You can allow the more that you want in your life with hope, ease and optimism (and as you move forward practicing your focus and therefore feeling positive emotions more often – eagerness, enthusiasm, appreciation…) in your heart. You may not be able to feel absolutely enthusiastic when you begin practicing your focus but even if you can feel just a little bit better every day from where you are, it makes the journey much easier. You have a good time not only when you allow the manifestation you want in your life in all its glory but you also have a good time on the way to that manifestation. Feeling positive emotions, wherever you are, has value.

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The secret to what you want

Happy lady pexels

“The greatest gift you can give to any partner – past, present or future is to be so connected with who You-Truly-Are that they are irrelevant to your connection. And when they are irrelevant to your connection, then you are going to have a really good time together.”

– Abraham-Hicks

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Who you truly are is pure positive energy. That is why you love feeling positive emotions. Negative emotions are also part of your guidance but it’s the positive emotions that you love because you are pure positive energy. Anything that you want (a better career, a more loving relationship, moving to another place, more money, better health, bigger house, starting a new venture etc) is because you believe you will feel better in the having of it. It is that positive emotion that you are targeting. And when you can show yourself that you do have the ability to feel good through the power of your focus (not always but predominantly and consistently), no matter what (even when what you want hasn’t manifested in your physical reality) – you feel good (which is the reason you want what you want) and you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more to make it easy for you to feel good even further. The journey to what you want becomes “easy” and what you want manifests in its “full potential”. You start living life as the creator you intended to be – creator of the life experiences that you desire. You reconnect to your power.

In the moments that you are connected to who you truly are, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.

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Happy Holidays!

 

Joy Holidays pixabay pexels

Happy Holidays!

Affirming joy for everyone 🙂

 

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”

– Oprah Winfrey

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You are powerful beyond measure

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“You’ve always had

the power my dear,

you just had to

learn it for yourself.”

–  The Wizard Of Oz

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Babies are born knowing who they are – love, joy, worthy, free and powerful. They may not be able to articulate it in these words but they know it. You can see it in the sheer joy they take in discovering the world around, the love they have for their bodies, the curiosity they have for the world, the enthusiasm for life in their eyes. Babies are so thrilled and delighted in their beingness. When children are told that they are wrong or what they have done is wrong and therefore, others around them are not happy, have you seen their disapproval at the criticism coming their way? It’s like their entire being says to them that they are good and they just don’t like the criticism and disapproval coming their way.

As they grow up, it takes a lot of convincing for many of them to learn that there are things in them which others do not like, that they need to prove their worthiness by doing some things which then others will decide their worthiness upon, that the world does not revolve around them, that they are not all that special as they think they are and similar non-nurturing thoughts/beliefs….. Not everyone around them judges them but there are many who do as they grow up into children, teenagers and then adults. By the time they reach adulthood or even teenage in many cases, many have lost their connection with who they are, with the essence of who they are.

This is not to blame those around for what they said or did as they were doing their best from their knowledge and understanding. This is also not to justify what they did and/or said but just to understand as understanding is important in order to soothe oneself, in order to feel relief, in order to feel better and feeling better is what each one of us wants. It’s important to soothe ourselves in order to move ahead with love in our hearts.

Why is feeling love so important to us? As written earlier – that is our essence – love, appreciation, joy, free, worthiness and empowered. We love it when we feel love. We love feeling who we truly are. Anything that we want – a more nurturing relationship or more money or better health or a bigger car or a better house or starting a new venture or a promotion at work etc. is all because we believe that we will feel better in the having of it. It is that positive feeling that we are targeting because that is our core, our essence.

Feeling free and powerful does not mean vanity or arrogance. Louise Hay said that vanity or arrogance is always from a place of fear. Being connected with who you are means genuine love and appreciation for this beautiful life and for the magnificent creation of life that you are. From this of place of strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.

The good news is that we can reconnect, predominantly and consistently, to who we are whenever we want to and feel ready to do so and when we do, we reconnect to our freedom, worthiness and power. It is a sight to behold 🙂

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Photo credit – Jade via unsplash.com

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