Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: marriage (Page 1 of 2)

Forgiveness, ease and freedom

“Today I decided to forgive you. Not because you apologized, or because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me, but because my soul deserves peace.”

– Najwa Zebian

What is forgiveness? Forgiveness, in very simple words, is when you decide to let go of the pain and be the joyful, appreciative and loving person that you actually are. When you forgive, you are not saying that the act committed (or the series of acts committed) are justified or okay. They never will be.

When you forgive, you are letting go of all the anger, the pain and the resentment and thereby, allowing in the joy, the appreciation, the love that you so want to feel. Don’t you like it when you are in joy? Don’t you feel good when you find yourself appreciating things/people/places/experiences? Don’t you find love such a wonderful feeling? The answer to these questions is yes and you do that because that’s who you are, that’s who your inner self is. When you hold yourself in anger (however justified it may be), you are far away from your true inner self and you feel pain in that separation. You don’t like it but it’s so difficult to let go as the resentment feels so justified.

Yes, forgiveness can be difficult but living in anger, resentment, pain, hatred every time you think about it – isn’t that difficult too?

You may decide to continue the relationship or continue the relationship and also reach out for help or you may decide to either temporarily or permanently end the relationship and firstly get to a place where you feel safe … – whatever you choose as per what gives you the most relief (i.e. as per your path of least resistance which only you know), what is more important is what you feel within.

Forgiveness means letting go of the pain, the anger and the resentment in your heart and feeling the relief that you so much want to feel. Forgiveness means looking at the situation, whenever you feel ready to, in a way which makes you feel relief and therefore, closer to the ease you want to feel. Forgiveness is your gift to yourself.

“Forgive because you deserve it.”

― Abraham-Hicks

Forgiveness can come up many times in our unique and beautiful journeys as the day-to-day experiences that make the tapestry of our lives are of great significance to us. Through the life coaching work that I do with my clients and what I see around makes me feel that it can be of help to remind ourselves of its value.

In the situations that one feels the desire to think about it, usually it does not happen in one swoop. It can be felt in one go by some people in some situations but generally it’s a process based on one’s path of least resistance. Initiating forgiveness by keeping one’s path of least resistance in mind makes it easier.

Affirming, for everyone, more and more moments of letting go of the resistance and letting in of relief, of ease, of feeling better than earlier. I feel the year – “2020” signifies something on the lines of a version “2.0” of ourselves for many of us who are willing and ready to start the process of letting go of the struggle, the resistance, the pain and letting in of the relief, the fresh air, the song in our hearts….letting in of the feeling of being empowered and free.

Affirming for everyone a beautiful 2020 filled with moments of ease, peace and joy!

The greatest gift you can give to yourself and to anyone else that you would like to be of value to is your own happiness


To hold someone as your object of attention while you’re connected to Source Energy, is the greatest gift that anyone could give. When you’re not happy, you don’t have anything to give. And so, what it literally means is be happy, because you cannot give anyone something that you do not feel.”

Excerpted from San Francisco, CA on 8/18/01

Our Love
Esther (Abraham and Jerry)

It’s only from your place of strength that you are of value in its full potential to yourself and to anyone else that you would want to be of value to. Thinking positive feeling thoughts is worth a shot. You may not be able to feel enthusiastic this red-hot minute but just a little better from where you are on any everyday basis is all it takes for you to start feeling predominantly and consistently (not always but predominantly and consistently) in a place where you are feeling good (or in its vicinity).

Negative feeling moments have value (even though they may be painful) as they help you become aware of what it is that you “do not want” and therefore, of what it is that “you do want”. Once you have clarity about your desires, you can choose to be a match to what you want by being in the same frequency/ vibration/ feeling of it. You want what you want (whether it is a more nurturing relationship, kind people, happy interactions, more money, adding value, a bigger car, a better house, starting a business venture, a promotion at work, good health etc.) because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. When you start feeling better now (even though what you want has not manifested yet in your physical reality), you allow the law of attraction to match you up with your desire “easily” and in “its full potential”. That’s when the solutions you want are not just solutions, they are master solutions.

A question can arise here – how do I feel positive when what I am focused on (and makes me feel negative emotion) is so in my face? It’s so much part of my reality that it’s an effort to feel relief. Yes, it may be an effort initially and “distraction” can help a lot here. Distracting yourself to topics which are easy to appreciate for you can help in deactivating the negative thoughts. You don’t even have to feel good all the time (negative emotions have value as they help you grow so they do serve a purpose) but even if you can practice feeling positive emotions 55% of the time on an everyday basis, you would have managed to change your predominant and consistent vibrations substantially and therefore, managed to be a match to your desires. Some suggestions – meditation can help, so can napping (yes 🙂 ), indulging in a hobby can help, speaking with a trustworthy and supportive friend, taking a walk next to nature, a relaxing warm bath – these (or any other way/ process that gives you relief, which makes you feel better, which makes it easy for you to feel good) are all general ways to feel good, practice your vibrational muscle, develop better shock absorbers in life and allow all that you want easily and effectively.
Once you are in a place of feeling good and therefore, in a place of strength predominantly and consistently, chances are high that you will be able to focus on any topic in a way that makes you feel better about it, which gives you relief, which is a match to the solution you desire. For some reaching this place of strength may take less time and for some more time and that is okay. We are human and being kind and gentle with ourselves helps. Knowing that it is an eternal journey helps in feeling ease about one’s beautiful, unique and individual pace.

Positive feeling moments have value as they help you “allow” all that you desire. These feel-good moments are when you are feeling the same emotion (or in its vicinity) as what you believe you will feel when you are living your desire in your physical reality. In this place of appreciation, freedom, joy and empowerment, you are a match to your desires, you are aligned with your desires and as Abraham-Hicks have said – “one who is in alignment is more powerful than a million who are not”, affirming more and more moments of alignment for all those who are asking for what they want.


Photo credit – Franciele Cunha via

Letting go of the struggle allows relief


“I stopped trying to explain myself to those who cannot hear my explanation. That’s big.”

– Abraham-Hicks

These words are simple, profound and so freeing. Letting go of the struggle can allow the relief one wants to feel. From this place of relief, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.


Photo credit – Sean Kong via


Deliberately allowing feel-good moments has value

Lady happy-matthew-hamilton-unsplash

“Satisfying relationships don’t bring alignment. Alignment brings satisfying relationships.

Do you see what must come first?”

– Abraham-Hicks


You are not happy because you are living a good life. You are living a good life because you are happy. You allow your desires to manifest “easily” and “in their full potential” when you start reconnecting to your ability to feel relief, to feel better, to feel good, no matter what.

As you practice unconditional alignment/joy/feeling positive emotions predominantly and consistently, you reconnect to your freedom and power. Even for people who feel ecstasy on a rather regular basis, allowing feel-good moments is a practice. The good news is that as you practice, it does get easier. In this place of strength, you mostly feel emotions that you like (i.e. positive feeling emotions) and you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more positive feeling moments as the law of attraction states – “like attracts like” – what you are feeling attracts more to feel the same. The better it gets, the better it gets.

The law of attraction does not state that you feel positive all the time (negative emotions can be painful but they do have value as they are part of our inner guidance). Even if you can feel positive emotions 55% of the time on a daily basis, you would have made a substantial difference to your predominant and consistent vibrations/ feelings and hence to the kind of life experiences that manifest in your physical reality. We have the ability to feel the emotions that we want to feel much more than we give ourselves credit for.

Initially, it may require effort but it’s like learning a new software program or a new skill – initially it requires effort and as one goes along, it gets easier and easier. What helps us in this practice is knowing that we love feeling positive emotions. Anything that anyone wants – more money, starting a new venture, a promotion at work, a more loving relationship, bigger car, better house, health etc. is all because one believes that one will better in the having of it. It is that positive feeling that we are targeting because we love positive emotions. We love them because that is who we are – pure positive energy and we always feel the call of who we are when we choose to separate ourselves from it and we feel good when we reconnect to it.

Practicing the art of allowing positive emotions on a daily basis does have value.


Photo credit – Matthew Hamilton via

Your happiness matters



“The greatest gift you can ever give another person is your own happiness.”

– Abraham-Hicks


When you are happy (and therefore, in a place of strength), you allow yourself to be of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to as compared to when you are in a place of negative emotion.


Photo credit – via

The key to allowing the relationship you want


“We attract lovers from our level of energy. Take time to raise your vibration and attract from a higher vibration. If you want to live happily ever after, learn to manage your emotions and make joy the most important experience.

It’s ever so much more satisfying to get into a blissful place and attract a blissful person and live blissfully thereafter than to be in a negative place and attract a negative partner and then try to get happy from that negative place.”

– Abraham Hicks


If the question arises, how can I be happy? The answer lies in these simple and profound words by Joseph Campbell – “follow your bliss.”

When you follow what makes you feel relief, what makes your heart sing, what gives you joy, what makes you put a spring in your step predominantly and consistently – you feel good more often and therefore, are in a position of strength (rather than lack). You enable two things here – firstly, you feel what you want to feel (i.e. feel good) predominantly and consistently (not always but predominantly and consistently) and secondly, as a consequence of your feeling so, you allow the law of attraction to match you more with experiences which make you feel even more good.  From this vibrational place of strength and feeling good, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.

As you practice your good feeling thoughts throughout the day, every day, more people who are a match to your new and improved vibrations come to you. The people in your life who are not a match to your new vibrations either change to become a match to your vibrations or if they can’t change, they leave.

Some people may say that even though I don’t feel good about this person, I don’t want him/her to leave my life. Chances are high that as you change your vibrations, the relationship which you are not happy with will change into what you want but just in case it doesn’t (some people are so far away from their alignment that they can’t raise their vibrations to meet yours…they are not ready, as of now and that is okay…we have our own beautiful individual journeys and what resonates with one person may not necessarily resonate with another) and you still don’t want the person to leave…in this situation, the question which you may want to ask yourself here is how much do you love yourself? This is worth thinking about.

As you continue feeling good, no matter what, chances are high that you will reach a place where if you feel like leaving the relationship, your decision of leaving would not be something which makes you feel discomfort of any kind. Instead of being a “moving away from” feeling, it will be a “moving towards something else or a coming home to” feeling. The action offered may be the same but the vibrational place it comes from (and hence what it feels like) would be different because you started allowing feel good moments, no matter what.

I must add here that suppose you are in a relationship with a person which you feel cannot be done away with like for example, you are divorced and do not have an amicable relationship with your ex-spouse but feel that you need to maintain the relationship because you have kids. If you have been practicing good feeling thoughts consistently and predominantly (either about your ex-spouse or about any other topic which is easy for you to appreciate) when you are “not” with your ex-spouse, he/she will rendezvous with you only in the moments (or on the days) when he/she is a match to your vibrations i.e. when he/she is also feeling good (and therefore, the experience/ interaction will be a good feeling one). The law of attraction will orchestrate that.

It is important to note here that even though you are practicing your new and improved vibrations predominantly and consistently, you may still meet that one person every now and then who makes it tempting for you to choose to have a knee jerk reaction but because you are practicing your new and improved vibrations throughout the day, every day, you will be able to regain your balance (or in other words, your alignment) much more easily than earlier. You will have good shock absorbers while moving through life. Another good news is that as you continue practicing your good feeling thoughts, the negative experiences reduce in their frequency. You can’t eliminate them as they have value but you can reduce them.

You may ask what value do negative experiences have? Negative experiences help inspire within you desires for what you want. Every topic has an unwanted and a wanted – sickness (unwanted) and health (wanted), poverty (unwanted) and prosperity (wanted), rude people (unwanted) and kind people (wanted) etc. Whenever you are in an experience which you do not want, there is a sharp desire which springs forth from within you for the wanted. You need this sharp, strong and clear desire in order to grow and expand beyond what you have been before that desire. Isn’t the desire for wellness heightened in you after a period of sickness as compared to before that sickness? The unwanted helps in sharpening our desires. As you allow your desires (by feeling good, no matter what), you manifest your desire and move/grow into a place better than where you were before that desire was born from within you.

You might ask, why do we have to grow? You do because that is the essence of your being. “More” is the essence of who you are. When you have a lot happening in your life, you may get overwhelmed but after some time of rest, you start getting bored and then you want more. Of course, we can all choose how much more – some want more as in roller coaster rides whereas some may want more as a trip to the beach. We all have the freedom to choose how much of the thrill do we want.

As you focus on the specifics of what you want (i.e. on how good what you want feels) or on topics which may not be connected with what you want but are easy for you to appreciate (and therefore, feel good which is the same feeling that you will feel when you get what you want), you allow the law of attraction to match you up with your desire because vibrationally you are same or in the vicinity. That is how you leverage the power of the universe.

You can try and achieve what you want from a place where you are focused more on what you do not want but it will be an arduous journey and what you achieve will be a minuscule portion of what you could have had you focused on your desire or on the vibration of your desire (i.e. had you lined up energy before offering the action inspired from that place of alignment). Why swim upstream when you can swim downstream and get the full potential of what you want? The former will give you solutions but they were be at best mediocre ones. The master solutions come when you are a vibrational match to your desires – i.e. you are feeling what you will feel once you are living what you desire (even though what you desire has not manifested yet). Thankfully, there are many ways to feel good (the same frequency/vibration/feeling of your desire) – meditation, napping (yes 🙂 ), a walk next to nature, indulging in a hobby, a warm relaxing bath, spending time with a supportive and trustworthy friend etc. You can choose whichever way resonates with you, whichever way gives you relief, whichever way makes you feel good. Any of these can lead to the feeling (on in the vicinity) of what you desire. You believe that once you have what you desire, you will feel better and if you can feel better right now, you allow your desire “easily” into your physical reality and the path to your desire is also a joyous path.  The ideas and impulses which comes to you from this place of feeling good, the action which you feel inspired to offer are from a place of strength rather than from a place of lack. You are leveraging the power of the universe. You are allowing the energy which creates worlds to flow to you and through you and you are flowing it toward all that you want. This is a very powerful place to be in.

A question can arise here – what if you are in a relationship which is verbally or emotionally or physically abusive? My suggestion would be to consider leaving the relationship even if you have not found the strength to think better feeling thoughts while being in the relationship. When in a place where you feel safe and whenever you feel ready, you can choose to think about that relationship in a way which makes you feel relief. This relief is important because firstly, it will make you feel better (which is what you want) and that will help in making peace with what happened (I reiterate – only when you feel that you are ready to make peace) and secondly, as you feel relief, as you feel better, as you make peace, you allow the law of attraction to match you with more to feel better, with more of what that relationship helped inspire within you.

Sometimes, we leave a relationship but do not change our vibrations at any point and we find others who make us feel the same that we felt in that relationship that we left. We can change places and faces but if our vibration is the same (i.e. a negative feeling emotion with regard to a particular topic), we (without intending to) attract more people who make it easy for us to feel the same emotion that we felt in that earlier abusive relationship. So, it’s in our interest to make peace with something which gave us pain but my suggestion is to initiate making peace only when you feel ready to do so. How would you know that you are ready? When you are able to think about that topic which gave you pain in a way which is not that painful any longer.

If you have been focusing on topics which are easy for you to appreciate more often, if you have been creating more feel-good moments predominantly and consistently through ways which make you feel better, which give you relief, which give you joy, chances are high that because of the new and improved vibrational place you are in, you may find the strength to initiate making peace with a specific topic that was painful to you earlier. There is no right or wrong in this. Just go by what feels better to you, what soothes you, what makes you feel relief. It’s your own beautiful individual journey.

It starts with you and your commitment to feeling good. If you have not been feeling good with one or many topics in your life, initially thinking feel-good thoughts can seem like an effort but as you go along, it gets easier. Initially, you may be able to find only a few moments in a day where you are able to focus in a way which makes you feel better. As you go along, you can stretch these moments by focusing on topics which are easy for you to feel good about. Some days, you may find yourself going back to the start i.e. from where you began feeling relief but don’t worry, you never miss the bus. You can start again whenever you feel ready to do so. There is always hope. As times goes and you practice your good feeling thoughts more often throughout the day, every day, you will find it easier to create more feel-good moments. The easier it gets, the easier it gets. The law of attraction is not saying that you feel good all the time. Even if you can feel good 55% of the day, every day, you would have made a substantial difference in your vibration and hence of what comes to you.

You start living as you intended to live – “free” and “joyously” “ever expanding” beyond what you have been before. You reconnect to your worthiness. As I wrote, it all starts with you and your commitment to feeling good.


“Your happiness is the most significant contribution that you could make. In your reaching for happiness, you are opening a vortex which makes you an avenue for the Well-being to flow through you. And anything that is your object of attention under those conditions, benefits by the infusion of your Well-being.”

– Abraham Hicks

Excerpted from: Boston, MA on October 10, 1999

Our Love,

Esther (and Abraham and Jerry)


Photo credit – I’m Priscilla via




Do not look for love in all the wrong places


lady with arms spread out - pexel - julian jagtenberg.jpg


“Don’t worry if someone doesn’t like you. Most people are struggling to like themselves.”

– Unknown


When you expect love from people who are not even loving themselves in the first place, it’s like expecting a loan from someone who does not have money. Knowing this helps in feeling relief when you meet someone who doesn’t like you. This is not to justify but to understand and understanding is important in order for you to move on without negative emotion.

Some people may say “no! people who do not like me do love themselves. I do see them laughing and having fun”. Firstly, you have no means of knowing how they truly feel within. Secondly, you must understand that when someone loves himself/ herself, from that place of love and strength, whoever has the benefit of laying their eyes on this person feels that love if he/she is in the vibrational vicinity. From this place of feeling love and feeling good – you want to appreciate, you want to smile, you want to pass compliments, you have a spring in your step, you feel good, you feel ease, you feel joy, you are kind and gentle with yourself and with others. From this empowered place, you are of so much value to yourself and to others you want to be of value to.

So, when you love yourself, it’s easier to feel love for others too.

Even if you choose not to move away from someone who does not love you, understanding this will help in feeling better when with such people or while thinking about such people. In addition to focusing in this way, distracting yourself to topics which are easy for you to appreciate also helps in feeling better. It’s important to feel better because firstly, that is what you want. You want to feel better. Everything that you want in your life – better health, more money, better career, starting a new venture, a more nurturing relationship etc. is because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that you are targeting. Looking at a situation in a way which makes you feel relief, allows you to feel better in the first place (which is what you want) even though the situation may not have changed. You reconnect to your freedom – freedom from negative thoughts.

Secondly, as you feel better predominantly and consistently (irrespective of the situation you are in), you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more to feel even more better about. Your physical reality changes to be a match to your new, improved, predominant and consistent vibrations about a topic which earlier used to be painful to you. That is when you start living as the creator that you intended to be – creator of your life experiences. You reconnect to your power.


Photo credit – Julian Jagtenberg via


When you love yourself


“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either.”

– Mandy Hale


You can always choose to focus your loving gaze first on yourself 🙂 …..and when you do so predominantly and consistently, you allow the law of attraction to match you up more with people who also appreciate you just the way you do and if you do meet someone who does not, it would not matter as you, in any case, have reconnected to that genuine love and appreciation for yourself (even before meeting that person).

Loving yourself may seem like an effort initially but as you go along, it gets easier. It’s like learning a new skill. Yes, it does require every day practice esp. initially. In the initial days, sometimes it may be easy and sometimes, it may not and that is okay. When a baby learns to walk, it does not start running the very first time. Learning to love yourself again is like that. The suggestion is to be kind and gentle with yourself while on this beautiful journey.

When you nurture and support yourself, when you honor the magnificent creation of life that you are (not vanity or arrogance as that is always from a place of fear, as Louise Hay says), you reconnect to your freedom and to your power. From this place of love and strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.


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I am worthy of love simply because I exist :)



“As I looked at the great tapestry that was the accumulation of my life up to that point, I was able to identify exactly what had brought me to where I was today.

Just look at my life path! Why, oh why, have I always been so harsh with myself? Why was I always beating myself up? Why was I always forsaking myself? Why did I never stand up for myself and show the world the beauty of my own soul?

Why was I always suppressing my own intelligence and creativity to please others? I betrayed myself every time I said “yes” when I meant “no”! Why have I violated myself by always needing to seek approval from others just to be myself? Why haven’t I followed my own beautiful heart and spoken my own truth?

Why don’t we realize this when we’re in our physical bodies? How come I never knew that we’re not supposed to be so tough on ourselves?

I still felt myself completely enveloped in a sea of unconditional love and acceptance. I was able to look at myself with fresh eyes, and I saw that I was a beautiful being of the Universe. I understood that just the fact that I existed made me worthy of this tender regard rather than judgment. I didn’t need to do anything specific; I deserved to be loved simply because I existed, nothing more and nothing less.”

– Anita Moorjani, Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing


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The vibrational place from where the action is inspired is more important than the action itself


“The rule of thumb is, you never take action when there is negative emotion within you because it is always counterproductive. Always talk to yourself until you feel better and then follow the inspired action that comes from that open valve.”

– Abraham


If you can’t find anyway to soothe yourself with regard to a particular topic that you are feeling negative emotion around, you can always use the power of distraction. Distraction is powerful. You can choose to distract yourself to something else which you find easy to appreciate. As you feel better, you can focus more on topics which you feel good about. As you focus and feel better predominantly and consistently, more often than not, you will find that the specific topic which was painful to you earlier is no longer painful. Due to the new vibrational place you are in now, you may not feel pain while thinking about that topic.

If it is still painful, chances are high that from this place of feeling happy predominantly and consistently, you will be able to look at what was painful earlier, in a way which makes you feel better about it. From this place of feeling better and stronger, the action which you feel inspired to offer, with regard to that topic, will be of so much more of value to you and to anyone else you would want it to be of value to.


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