Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: negative emotion

You are magnificent

 

“Don’t you know yet? It is your light that lights the world.”

– Rumi
_________________________

Yes, it does happen that in a moment when we choose to focus in a way that makes it easy for us to feel negative emotion, we have chosen to separate ourselves from who we truly are (the good news being that whenever we want to and feel ready to, we can reconnect back to who we are…and this place of readiness can be different for different people as we all have our own, beautiful, individual and unique journeys) but this decision/choice to separate ourselves from who we truly are in a particular moment in no way takes away from who we truly are i.e. pure positive energy. Our essence, our being, our core is ever-expanding, infinite, eternal, pure positive energy and that is why we love feeling positive emotions.

Negative emotion has value (as it helps us give birth to desires and/or amend our desires) but it is our positive-feeling moments that we love feeling – love, appreciation, worthy, free, empowered, joy, optimism, hope, passion, eager, happiness and other positive emotions. Whatever it is that we want – a more nurturing relationship, health, money, a promotion at work, starting a new venture, buying a new house, a bigger car etc. – we believe that we will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that we are targeting – the positive emotion because that is our essence and we love moments in which we are aligned with who we are, in which we are feeling our essence.

Whenever we choose to separate ourselves from who we truly are and we choose not to reconnect, we don’t like that separation (even in situations where we may like it initially like anger as compared to despair feels more powerful but if you get stuck in anger, you don’t like it after sometime) as we feel the call of our core, our being, our essence as we are not in alignment as of that point. Whenever we feel ready to, we can always pivot in ways which are easy for us (our unique and beautiful path of least resistance) to focus on positive feeling thoughts, on thoughts which give us relief, on thoughts which make us smile, on thoughts which make us feel better from where we are. As we practice our good-feeling place/vibrations/thoughts every day throughout the day, in this place of positive emotions, we are either in alignment or in the vicinity of that alignment with who we truly are, predominantly and consistently. This vibrational place of alignment is what we love as in that alignment, we are home. From this place of strength, we are of so much more value to ourselves and to anyone else that we would like to be of value to.

“You are magnificent. Please know this.”

– Anita Moorjani

________________________

Photo credit – Joel Matt via Unsplash.com

Feeling relief when in fear

What fear is …..is a feeling I have when I am holding a desire in my conscious attention and a belief that contradicts it in the same moment.

– Abraham-Hicks
________________________________

Examples of the above – desiring financial prosperity and believing that it will be difficult for you to get it or desiring a recovery from a particular illness and having a belief that the recovery you desire is rare and difficult. Basically, fear is the negative emotion (or one of the negative emotions) that you feel when you think the thought – “I can’t have what I want.”

The good news is that if you want and if you feel ready to, you can change your beliefs in order to align them with your desires as per your path of least resistance 🙂

You do that by soothing yourself thought by thought, moment by moment, as per your own beautiful, unique and individual pace whenever you feel ready to do so. Initially distracting yourself to topics which are easy for you to appreciate helps in feeling relief more often and then from this place of relief and strength, if one wants and feels ready to, one can soothe oneself on the topic one feels fear on.

Of course, pre-paving on a daily basis helps in not only reducing the frequency of life experiences which have the potential for you to choose fear but it also reduces the intensity of the fear that you feel when in them and hence helps in your regaining your balance easily as compared to before you started pre-paving. Pre-paving means allowing more feel-good moments (i.e. moments in which you are feeling relief, moments in which you are feeling good, moments in which you have a spring in your step, moments in which you have a song in your heart, moments in which you are relaxed, positive emotion feeling moments…) and as you do so predominantly and consistently, you develop vibrational muscles, you develop sea legs, you develop good shock absorbers in life. The action you feel inspired to from this place of strength is so much more than from a place of lack. This is not the only way to react to fear but it is an easy and effective way.

______________________________

“When you fear anything, don’t take the next step or do something you’re afraid to do. There are a lot of people that will say: “Oh just push through it, and when you push through it, then you’ll get over being afraid of it.”

And we encourage you to do instead is to come into alignment with what you want first by finding the thoughts that feel good, because fear is there for a reason.

The fear is saying: “there’s resistance within you, that is going to attract some of what you want and some of what you don’t want.

Why not clean it up before you take action?

-Abraham-Hicks

 

Bless you fear, thank you for pointing out that I just blocked something that I want, with a bogus habit of thought, that doesn’t apply and has no relevance to where I am now and where I’m going. THAT’S the nugget we’ve been reaching for, that’s the taking thought beyond which it has been before, that’s why we want you to make peace with your negative emotion, that’s why we want you to understand what it is, that’s why we want you to stop standing in a place being mad at yourself or someone else, feeling negative emotion.

Bless you fear. You’re reminding me that I’ve got some vibrational work to do. You’re not here to remind me that I can’t have what I want, you’re just here to remind me that I’m not ready for what I want yet.

Thank you negative emotion for reminding me of amplifying the thought, that there is something that I keenly want, to which I’m not in the vibrational vicinity of, but I have the ability to close that Gap with a little bit of effort.”

– Abraham-Hicks

________________________________________

Photo credit – Radu Florin via unsplash.com

Deliberately allowing feel-good moments has value

Lady happy-matthew-hamilton-unsplash

“Satisfying relationships don’t bring alignment. Alignment brings satisfying relationships.

Do you see what must come first?”

– Abraham-Hicks

___________________________________________________

You are not happy because you are living a good life. You are living a good life because you are happy. You allow your desires to manifest “easily” and “in their full potential” when you start reconnecting to your ability to feel relief, to feel better, to feel good, no matter what.

As you practice unconditional alignment/joy/feeling positive emotions predominantly and consistently, you reconnect to your freedom and power. Even for people who feel ecstasy on a rather regular basis, allowing feel-good moments is a practice. The good news is that as you practice, it does get easier. In this place of strength, you mostly feel emotions that you like (i.e. positive feeling emotions) and you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more positive feeling moments as the law of attraction states – “like attracts like” – what you are feeling attracts more to feel the same. The better it gets, the better it gets.

The law of attraction does not state that you feel positive all the time (negative emotions can be painful but they do have value as they are part of our inner guidance). Even if you can feel positive emotions 55% of the time on a daily basis, you would have made a substantial difference to your predominant and consistent vibrations/ feelings and hence to the kind of life experiences that manifest in your physical reality. We have the ability to feel the emotions that we want to feel much more than we give ourselves credit for.

Initially, it may require effort but it’s like learning a new software program or a new skill – initially it requires effort and as one goes along, it gets easier and easier. What helps us in this practice is knowing that we love feeling positive emotions. Anything that anyone wants – more money, starting a new venture, a promotion at work, a more loving relationship, bigger car, better house, health etc. is all because one believes that one will better in the having of it. It is that positive feeling that we are targeting because we love positive emotions. We love them because that is who we are – pure positive energy and we always feel the call of who we are when we choose to separate ourselves from it and we feel good when we reconnect to it.

Practicing the art of allowing positive emotions on a daily basis does have value.

____________________________

Photo credit – Matthew Hamilton via unsplash.com

Fear or hope?

lady-in-cave-pexels-unsplash

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

–  Nelson Mandela

___________________________

The vibrational place (in other words, the emotional place) from where you are focused on a particular situation will determine both – the action you feel inspired to offering and also the further life experiences you allow the law of attraction to match you up with. Thoughts which make you feel better, which make you feel relief, which make it easier for you to feel hope are different from thoughts which make you feel doubt or fear or any other negative emotion. You can choose in any moment which thoughts you would like to focus on. You always have a choice.

Problems have value because if there were no problems, we would not seek solutions and therefore, we would not move forward, expand and grow. For the purpose of expansion, problems or questions have value but when one is all warped up in the problem, it’s difficult to see the solution and even if one does find a solution, at best, it is a mediocre one. In order to create as the master creators that we are, its important to be at the periphery of the problem – not so warped up in it that you can’t see the answers you are seeking.

When giving attention to a problem, one can choose to focus on it by being aware of it and then moving one’s focus onto the desire that is being inspired within because of the problem i.e. onto the solution or the answer. As one moves one’s focus to the desire that life has caused to be inspired within, it easier to feel relief and then hope.

Sometimes, it seems difficult to focus on the solution as the problem feels big. The suggestion then is to focus on any other topic which is easy to appreciate and feel good about. This helps in distracting oneself from thinking about the problem. When feeling better predominantly and consistently, chances are high that one will feel ready to focus on the problem one is facing from a solution oriented approach.

___________________________________________

Photo credit – pexels.com via unsplash.com

You can’t feel the frequency of a problem and a solution simultaneously

 

sky-space-dark-galaxy-pixabay-pexels

“You just can’t look at things that make you unhappy and be happy.

You have to look in the direction of what you want. And the more you do it, the easier it is. And the easier it is, the more you do it. Until before you know it you are offering a vibration where only well- being flows to you.”

– Abraham

_________________________________

Photo credit – pixabay.com via pexels.com

I’am going to be happy – no matter what

pexels-laughing child indian - Surajith S.

 

“We are really advocates of just getting as happy as you can be — which takes care of everything.

Even if you don’t have reason to be happy — make it up. Fantasize it.

Make a decision that you’re going to be happy one way or another — no matter what.

No matter what, I’m going to be happy! If I have to ignore everybody;

if I have to never watch television again;

if I have to never pick up a newspaper again, I’m going to be happy.

If I never have to see that person’s face again, I’m going to be happy.

If I have to see that person’s face, I’m going to find something to see in that person’s face that makes me happy.

I’m going to be happy.

I’m going to be happy.

I’m going to be happy.”

– Abraham Hicks

(the above words by Abraham have been shared from the blog joypassiondesire)

_______________________________

Off course, the “inner work” is to reach a point wherein no matter what your physical reality is, you feel happy but if you are not able to feel happy while in your current physical reality, then are you supposed to tolerate your negative emotions till you wither away?

No! You can get some distance between that which pains you and you. In that time and space that you get, you can sharpen your focus till the time you are able to focus on any topic (even if it was painful to you earlier) and find something in it to feel better about it (it can be but need not be enthusiastically happy…. just feeling better is awesome too while on your path to feeling good about it) i.e. you achieve stability in your good feeling thoughts. As you do that, you reconnect to your invincibility, to your freedom. The power which creates worlds flows through you. In fact, it is you.

Yes, sometimes, because of the way we are focused on a situation, we cannot feel positive emotion. There is nothing wrong in it. We are human and we need to be easy on ourselves. Negative emotion always tells us that we have grown but have not gone ahead with our growth. Whenever we feel upto it, we can change the way we are focused on it and thereby taste true freedom – i.e. free to feel whatever emotion we want to feel irrespective of what is happening around us. Sometimes, choosing to distance oneself from what is painful helps in reaching this place of strength and therefore, is the path of least resistance (it need not be but sometimes, it is and only you know that by the way you feel about it). From this place of strength, we are of value to ourselves and to anyone else we may want to be of value to.

________________________________________________________

Photo credit – Surajith S via pexels.com

Being easy about feeling negative emotion

pexels-heart broken and crying

“The expansion of the Universe and the evolution of all species is dependent on contrast. How could you ever decide what you do want, without living some of what you don’t want? And so, be easy on yourself! Do not try to hold yourself to the impossible standard of only being in a place where everything is exactly as you want it to be. If you could do that you would cease to exist.”

– Abraham

_______________________________

A lot of times, it happens that people who have been doing inner work for quite some time and therefore, have got better at maintaining their inner balance give themselves a hard time when they find themselves feeling negative emotion. It’s like they chide themselves by saying to themselves – “you should know better. You can choose positive emotions. You know the value of positive emotions. Why didn’t you make a better choice in this situation? How can you feel negative emotion when now you know and understand so much better? How can you do this?” The more they judge themselves, the more uncomfortable they feel…the more they scold themselves, the further they get from feeling what they want to feel i.e. feel good till the time they become aware of what they are doing to themselves and stop the negative feeling by distracting themselves to something easy to appreciate. Since they have been doing inner work for quite some time, it’s now easier for them to distract themselves in order to feel relief at this point.

In all of this, it’s important to acknowledge that negative emotion has value and it will always be there. We can reduce feeling pain (as we learn to focus on thoughts in a different way than earlier) but as humans, we will have moments in which we choose to experience negative emotion. Negative emotion helps us create as only when we don’t like something, do we have an awareness of what we like (and hence want to create something beyond where we have been before feeling that negative emotion). So, contrast has value. We are all creators. Yes, some of us may be better at allowing our creation than others but even though one is better, it’s not that one will never feel any negative emotion.

As time goes by and one practices one’s balance everyday throughout the day, it does get easier. Something which may have taken one two years to get over may take two months or two weeks or even two minutes. It’s almost like the edge has been taken off you but it will never be that one will never feel any negative emotion. Why? Because we are all creators and in order to create, we need to see unwanted and therefore, desire the wanted. If we wanted to remain pure positive energy “all the time”, we would not have come in this time space reality as we have.

Yes, we can reduce negative emotion but cannot eliminate it. If we do eliminate it, we would “cease to exist”. Making peace with negative emotion by seeing it’s value plays an important role in being easy on ourselves and enjoying our journey “even more”.

____________________________

Photo credit – Burak Kostal via pexels.com

Say no!

Just say no

‘Life is not fair’

‘Why should you have what you want? Do you think you are special?’

‘Life sucks’

‘You need to be open to criticism’

‘You need to face reality. Don’t think that you are too good because you are not.” etc…..

Many of us have heard one or some or all or similar to the above statements as we have grown up. Whenever someone hears a statement like the ones above, he feels negative emotion. That negative emotion is evidence that the statement does not resonate with his inner core . Whenever someone praises us, we feel good and we thrive. That positive emotion is evidence that we agree with the praise, that the praise resonates with our inner core or in other words, we know deep within that we are pure positive energy and when we hear words which point to the essence of who we are, we feel good. That positive emotion is the evidence that we have heard something that we feel resonance with, that we know the “truth” of.

This quote from Abraham below is like a breath of fresh air for someone who has heard statements like the one above.

————

When your employer or your teacher or your mother or some mentor says to you, “Just deal with it. Just buck up.”

Say: “No!”

“I’m not going to put up with it. I’m not going to put up with my not-feeling-good. I’m not going to tolerate it anymore. I’m not going to acquiesce to less than I have become.”

—————

You can either change the situation which you do not like or you can change the way you look at the situation in order to feel better but if you do neither and keep feeling negative (irritation/frustration/over whelmed/ anger/ hatred/ despair/powerless etc), not only will you keep feeling what you don’t want to feel but you will also walk towards more to feel what you are predominantly and consistently feeling i.e. negative.

The question is would you want that? Don’t you like to feel good? Don’t you like it when you feel love, appreciation, worthy, joy and free? Everything you want is because you believe that you will feel good in having if it. It’s all about you feeling good. You can focus in a way which makes you feel better when you are feeling some negative emotion and when you feel better, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more to feel even more better. You do have the ability to focus the way you want to. You can change your life experiences if you would want to. You are powerful. The same energy which creates worlds flows through you. You are that energy!

____________________________

Photo credit – Andy Toolell via unsplash.com

 

Do only what you feel good about

 

two girls - fall leaves - smile - Evelyn Mostrom

“Follow your bliss and do what you love. We tend to do what we think we should do, rather than what our heart tells us to do.

Do what makes your heart sing!”

– Anita Moorjani

_______________________________________________

And if there is something that you feel you have to do (even though you do not want to do it), you may choose to feel differently about it before doing it. You can refocus or redirect your thoughts on that topic so that you feel better about it before offering any action. Incase you cannot feel better about it, the suggestion is do not do it… at least not until you can feel better about it.

Action is important but more important is the vibrational place from where it is offered. When you are feeling powerless, you feel like doing a particular action. When you are feeling angry, there is another kind of action which you feel like carrying out. When you are feeling hope, there is yet another kind of action which you feel inspired to and when you are feeling love and appreciation, there is another kind of action which you feel like doing. So, the action has value but what is more important is the vibrational place from where it is offered.

Sometimes, the reality we are living is so uncomfortable that we cannot feel good about it as of now. In that situation, one can choose to carry out an action which makes it easier to distract oneself from the reality and to feel good. At some point, when one is ready, one can look at the reality and choose to focus upon it in way which makes one feel better about it. Choosing the vibrational path of least resistance is always better than the action path of least resistance but I do see situations in which choosing the action path of least resistance seems to be better in the present moment.

The law of attraction states “like attracts like” i.e. what you are thinking and thereby feeling on a topic attracts more to feel the same. If you would like experiences which make you feel good to come more often your way, you would want to feel good in the now. You always have a choice.

_______________________________

Photo credit – Evelyn Mostrom via unsplash.com

 

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén