Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: negative emotions

Negative emotion is part of your inner guidance

 

It is well sign-corinne-kutz-unsplash

“Are you under the misimpression that negative emotion is a bad thing?

Negative emotion is not a bad thing.

Negative emotion is guidance to help you redirect and refocus.

It’s all part of the dance.”

– Abraham-Hicks

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Negative emotion is our indicator that we are not where we want to be (we are not feeling the emotions that we want to feel, the emotions that we like) and therefore, it’s part of the inner guidance that we were born with – the manual within each one of us. Whenever you feel negative emotion, all its telling you is that you are not feeling positive emotion (which is what you want to feel – you love the feeling you feel when you feel worthy, when you love someone or something, when you appreciate, when you feel free, when you feel empowered, when you feel hope..) and if you feel ready, you can refocus to a better feeling thought.

If initially, you can’t find anything to feel better about the specific situation you are feeling negative feeling thoughts about, you can distract yourself to some other topic which is easy for you to appreciate. It may take a little effort initially just like it does when you are learning a new computer program or skill but as you go along, it gets easier to focus in a way which makes you feel better (not enthusiastic at that red-hot minute but a little better from where you are). As you continue feeling better every day in ways which are easy for you, chances are high that you will reach a place where you are feeling good predominantly and consistently. At this place, many times people find that the topic which they were worried or angry (or any other negative emotion) about has resolved itself because their predominant and consistent vibrations have changed. In case it has not resolved itself, chances are high that because of the new and improved vibrational place that you are in now (and therefore, in a place of strength rather than lack) you will feel ready to focus on it in a way which soothes you, which makes you feel better about it. If you don’t feel ready, that is okay too. I understand and respect that. We all have our own unique, beautiful, individual journeys. You can always choose to continue feeling positive emotions by focusing on topics which are easy for you to appreciate.

If you feel ready and choose to practice better feeling thoughts, thoughts which soothe you, thoughts which provide relief about the specific topic that was painful to you, you allow yourself to be matched by the law of attraction to the solution you are seeking. The topic was painful and therefore, you want to feel ease about it. You want a solution because you believe the solution will make you feel better. The feeling/vibration of the problem is pain and the feeling/vibration of the solution you want is ease/feeling better/feeling hope/feeling appreciation/feeling worthy/ feeling free/ feeling love. The frequency of the solution and the frequency of the problem are different. If you are at 108 FM and want to listen to some other FM channel, you have to turn the dial. If you have a problem, you have to focus on it in a way in which you are a vibrational match to the solution in order to allow the solution to come to you. The problem is important but if you are all warped/wrapped up in the problem, you are not a match to what you want i.e. the solution which is a different frequency/vibration/feeling. Artists, athletes, composers, authors, writers, inventors etc. have long realized that until and unless they are in the flow, nothing flows. By flow, it means being a vibrational match to the solution, predominantly and consistently.

By feeling better about that specific topic, you allow the solution to be realized by you because you are feeling the same frequency or in the vicinity of the frequency of the solution you desire. Everything that you want is because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it – whether it is more clarity, more confidence, starting a new venture, a promotion at work, a more nurturing relationship, better health, a bigger house etc. It is that feeling that you are targeting and when you can feel relief or hope or any other positive emotion (which you believe you will feel once the solution manifests in your life) even though what you want hasn’t manifested, you allow it to manifest “easily” and “in its full potential”.

Positive emotions and negative emotions are part of our guidance – the manual each one of us was born with. Knowing this helps in being kind and gentle with yourself whenever you find yourself feeling negative emotion. You are human and your emotions (both positive as well as negative) are part of your inner guidance. The good news is that you can step by step (at your own unique, beautiful, individual pace) feel a little better every day and thereby, allow what you want to come to you by being a vibrational match to it. You want to feel good because that is who you are – pure positive energy and whenever you choose to think thoughts that make you feel negative emotion, that negative emotion is an indicator that you are not a match to who you are and therefore, you don’t like feeling negative emotion. Yes, sometimes, anger can feel good because its more powerful than a feeling of despair, helplessness or depression but if you get stuck at anger and don’t move towards positive feeling thoughts, you don’t like it.

When the indicator tells you that the fuel tank in your car is near empty, you decide to get it filled up at the nearest gas station. You feel good that you have an indicator which lets you know. You do not get angry at the indicator. You feel good as you realize it’s value. It’s the same with negative emotions. They are your indicator that you are thinking thoughts which are so far apart from who you truly are. They are an indicator of the gap between who you are choosing to be/ the thoughts you are thinking in that moment and who you are truly are. Whenever you will have this gap, the negative emotions (could be fear or anger or hatred or rage or guilt or despair etc.) you feel are your indicator that you have chosen to separate yourself from the pure positive energy that you are. The negative emotion is the evidence that you are feeling the call of who you truly are and because of the thoughts you are choosing to think in that moment, you are not aligned with who you are. The good news is that you can choose. You are free to choose the thoughts you think in your mind. Sharing a beautiful quote by Abraham-Hicks here – “you are so free, you can choose bondage”.

Negative emotions may not feel good but they do have value as they indicate to you (if you are sensitive, you can become aware of negative thoughts early on which does make it easy to deactivate them by activating positive feeling thoughts. Not that you can’t change them later on but it is relatively easier in the early stages) that you are not where you want to be and you may want to consider refocusing in a way which makes you feel the emotions that you truly are – joy, appreciation, worthy, free, empowered and love not only because that is who you are but that is how you allow the solutions you want to be realized by you. That is how you start living predominantly and consistently as the creator (of your life experiences) you intended to be when you came in this time-space-reality. Such an empowered place to live life from.

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Photo credit – Corinne Kutz via unsplash.com

The value of being selfish

Jerry: So, there’s nothing wrong with taking “the coward’s way out”?

Abraham: There are many people who override their own guidance system by trying to please others, and there are many people who will call you “selfish” or “cowardly” when you have the audacity to please yourself rather than them. Often others will call you “selfish” (because you are unwilling to yield to their own selfishness) without realizing the hypocrisy of their demand.

Sometimes, we are accused of teaching selfishness, and we admit that it is true because if you are not selfish enough to tend to your own vibration and therefore hold yourself in alignment with your source (and with-you-really-are), then you have nothing to give to another anyway. When others call you “selfish” or “cowardly,” their own vibrations are clearly out of balance, and a modification of your behavior will not bring them into balance.

flowers among rocky mountains - Ales Krivec

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And even if it does bring them into balance, it will be very temporary. After some time, they will again demand a modification of your behavior in order to feel good. As you continue doing so, you will do them a big disservice as you will teach them to depend on someone else for their happiness whereas they (just like you) have the ability to feel good by focusing on topics in a way which feels good (i.e. everyone can feel good on their own). You will also observe that as you continue modifying your behavior in order to make them happy, their demands keep increasing and as you keep meeting their increasing demands, you start resenting the very relationship you wanted to be of value to. Now you have nothing to give firstly to yourself and also to those that you wanted to give to, as you are now in a place of lack rather than a place of strength.

The only thing which is of value is to focus on good feeling thoughts yourself and when you are predominantly and consistently feeling good, the law of attraction will surround you with experiences who make you feel the same i.e. feel good. Usually, it happens that we feel when we are surrounded by experiences which make it easy for us to feel better. Yes, you do feel better easily if your reality is what you want it to be but the way you create your experiences is by first feeling good yourself even though the experiences you want have not manifested yet.

Thankfully, there are ways to feel good even if you are not living the reality you want. You can nap, you can take a walk next to nature, you can meditate, you can play with your child, you can have a relaxing warm bath, you can appreciate something which is easy for you to appreciate, you can talk to a supportive and trustworthy friend, you can indulge in a hobby etc. As you create more and more feel good moments through these general ways on an every day basis, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with the kind of experiences you want. That is when we start leveraging the power of the universe. That is when people look and say – “it’s a miracle” or that “she/he is lucky” but what you are doing is not unconscious creating; it is deliberate creation at its best. In addition, because now that you are deliberating creating, you can replicate the process in any area of your life wherein you want to change the results. It starts with being selfish enough to use any excuse in order to feel good predominantly and consistently, no matter what your reality is.

The law of attraction states “that which is like unto itself, is drawn” i.e. what you think and therefore feel, attracts more to feel the same. It’s a powerful law just like the law of gravity. We understand the law of gravity and use our knowledge about it to make our lives easier. We can do the same with the law of attraction too.

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Photo credit – Ales Krivec via unsplash.com