Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: negative (Page 2 of 2)

Negative emotion is part of the guidance we were born with

cactus - Oliver Pacas

“Are you under the misimpression that negative emotion is a bad thing?

Negative emotion is not a bad thing. Negative emotion is guidance to help you redirect and refocus.

It’s all part of the dance.”

– Abraham

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Photo credit – Oliver Pacas via unsplash.com

Why do people behave negatively?

old lady - Alex Harvey

“When someone behaves poorly, it’s always because they’ve forgotten how powerful they really are, how beautiful life is, and how much they’re loved. Always.”

― Mike Dooley

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It’s only when someone has not felt free or worthy or loved for a long time, does he/she feel the desire to behave in a way which hurts or scares others….it’s like if someone puts a pillow on your face…you will flail about desperate for air….someone making a choice to behave negatively is like this desperate cry to feel better… the negative choice may help in order to feel relief but that relief will be very temporary….the predominant and consistent relief which one wants will only come through alignment and one who is aligned never feels inspired to hurting or scaring others…the two vibrations are different….

The above is not to justify someone’s behavior but to help understand the behavior as only when we understand, can we feel better about it….feeling better is important if we want to move on with a light heart with regard to someone’s negative behavior…and when we are ready to feel better, that is when we reconnect to our freedom i.e. our freedom to feel what we “want” to feel…

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Photo credit – Alex Harvey via unsplash.com

What you are feeling while doing what you are doing has value

Man doing pottery - Alex Jones

“The truth is that we all know, if we pause to think about it, that doing what we love is good for us. Or, we at least know that doing things that we don’t enjoy, or that stress us out, is not good for us. In fact, both western and eastern medicines support this idea: that stress makes us ill.”

– John C. Parkin

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Photo credit – Alex Jones via unsplash.com

You have a choice

two women with V sign - Ian Scheider

“If you see friends who are experiencing illness, try to imagine them well. Notice that when you focus upon their illness, you feel bad; but when you focus upon their possible recovery, you feel good.”

– Abraham
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The way you focus on the situation makes a difference to the way you feel about it and the way you feel about it, attracts more to feel the same according to the law of attraction. It’s the energy you are sending out there. The best part is that you have complete control over the way you focus.

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Photo credit – Ian Schneider via unsplash.com

Being connected to your awesomeness has value

a man and woman happy

It’s important that you are connected to your awesomeness predominantly, not just for yourself but also in order to be of value to anyone else you would want to be of value to.
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You help others most from your place of thriving, your abundance, your happiness!

– A post from the blog – joypassiondesire

“You might think that we are saying: Love only yourself, and not others. Or it might feel to you that we are encouraging an either/or sort of thing, where you take care of you and you don’t take care of them.

Where really what we’re saying is, if you don’t take care of you, you haven’t got anything to take care of them with.

A person can be watching someone who’s in trouble in some way – maybe they’re sick, whatever – and it’s possible for you to empathize so much with their sickness, that you completely disallow your connection to your source, and now all you can do is commiserate with them. You have no strength, nothing to give them.

The analogy that we offer is: two people walking along a mountain path,
a very narrow ledge. Or let’s say there are three of you, and you have need to be steadied.

Maybe you hurt your foot, or maybe you are at a high altitude and you are losing your ability to be stable, and you have two friends with you, and one of them has been commiserating with you, and is limping and is as unsteady as you are. And the other one is sure-footed and strong and steady.

Which one are you glad is there?

In other words, whose arm would you reach out for?

So often our dear friends who care so much, get so involved in what’s wrong, that they lose their connection with source. And then they join together in numbers, thinking that joining together in numbers will give them strength, but a bunch of weak people, even in numbers, aren’t strong, you see.

Get a whole bunch of confused people together and see how much clarity comes out of it.
In other words, you can’t just add one more confused person to the pot and expect to get any clarity. And one standing outside of the confused group
who is clear, is more powerful than a million who are confused.”

– Abraham Hicks, 9/1/04

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Photo credit – Kevin Schmitz via unsplash.com

 

 

Why are negative memories easier to recall than positive memories?

man and two roads

Ever wondered why do we remember negative memories more easily than positive memories? Sharing an interesting article which enumerates “why” and also what can we do to tip the balance in favor of positive memories.

Takeaways from this interesting article below –

  1. We tend to remember negative memories more easily than positive memories
  2. Small positive acts have more value than one big positive act
  3. It takes five positive memories to offset one negative memory
  4. You can feel positive more often by deliberating thinking more about topics which are easy for you to appreciate.

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Our Brain’s Negative Bias

Why our brains are more highly attuned to negative news.

– By Hara Estroff Marano, published on June 20, 2003 – last reviewed on November 20, 2015 in Psychology Today

Why do insults once hurled at us stick inside our skull, sometimes for decades? Why do some people have to work extra hard to ward off depression?

The answer is, for the same reason political smear campaigns outpull positive ones. Nastiness just makes a bigger impact on our brains.

And that is due to the brain’s “negativity bias”: Your brain is simply built with a greater sensitivity to unpleasant news. The bias is so automatic that it can be detected at the earliest stage of the brain’s information processing.

Take, for example, the studies done by John Cacioppo, Ph.D., then at Ohio State University, now at the University of Chicago. He showed people pictures known to arouse positive feelings (say, a Ferrari, or a pizza), those certain to stir up negative feelings (a mutilated face or dead cat) and those known to produce neutral feelings (a plate, a hair dryer). Meanwhile, he recorded electrical activity in the brain’s cerebral cortex that reflects the magnitude of information processing taking place.

The brain, Cacioppo demonstrated, reacts more strongly to stimuli it deems negative. There is a greater surge in electrical activity. Thus, our attitudes are more heavily influenced by downbeat news than good news.

Our capacity to weigh negative input so heavily most likely evolved for a good reason—to keep us out of harm’s way. From the dawn of human history, our very survival depended on our skill at dodging danger. The brain developed systems that would make it unavoidable for us not to notice danger and thus, hopefully, respond to it.

All well and good. Having the built-in brain apparatus supersensitive to negativity means that the same bad-news bias also is at work in every sphere of our lives at all times.

So it should come as no surprise to learn that it plays an especially powerful role in our most intimate relationships. Numerous researchers have found that there is an ideal balance between negativity and positivity in the atmosphere between partners. There seems to be some kind of thermostat operating in healthy marriages that almost automatically regulates the balance between positive and negative.

What really separates contented couples from those in deep marital misery is a healthy balance between their positive and negative feelings and actions toward each other. Even couples who are volatile and argue a lot stick together by balancing their frequent arguments with a lot of demonstrations of love and passion. And they seem to know exactly when positive actions are needed.

Here’s the tricky part. Because of the disproportionate weight of the negative, balance does not mean a 50-50 equilibrium. Researchers have carefully charted the amount of time couples spend fighting vs. interacting positively. And they have found that a very specific ratio exists between the amount of positivity and negativity required to make married life satisfying to both partners.

That magic ratio is five to one. As long as there was five times as much positive feeling and interaction between husband and wife as there was negative, researchers found, the marriage was likely to be stable over time. In contrast, those couples who were heading for divorce were doing far too little on the positive side to compensate for the growing negativity between them.

Other researchers have found the same results in other spheres of our life. It is the frequency of small positive acts that matters most, in a ratio of about five to one.

Occasional big positive experiences—say, a birthday bash—are nice. But they don’t make the necessary impact on our brain to override the tilt to negativity. It takes frequent small positive experiences to tip the scales toward happiness.

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Photo credit – Jordan McQueen via unsplash.com

The frequency of the problem and the solution are different

a man and a woman

So important for all of us uplifters to keep this in mind…

“If you intend to be of assistance, your eye is not upon the trouble but upon the assistance, and that is quite different. When you are looking for a solution, you are feeling positive emotion— but when you are looking at a problem, you are feeling negative emotion.”
– Abraham

Excerpted from: The Law of Attraction, The basics of the teachings of Abraham on July 01, 2006
Our Love, Esther (and Abraham and Jerry)

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Photo credit – Ian Schneider via unsplash.com

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