“I will never let myself down, treat myself like a doormat, or make myself small so others can feel big. I have learned that this is the biggest gift that I give, not only to myself, but also to the planet, because I paint others with the same brush as I use on myself.”
– Anita Moorjani
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When you are selfish enough to feel good about yourself on your own, you are able to feel good about others too. When you are at a place of ease within yourself, it’s easier to look at others with kindness and love. Of course my suggestion would be don’t do it for others, do it because it feels so good to feel good about yourself and from that place of strength, can you imagine the value you would bring to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to?
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“One of the biggest lessons I learned from nearly dying of cancer is the important of loving myself unconditionally. In fact, learning to love and accept myself unconditionally is what healed me and brought me back from the brink of death.”
– Anita Moorjani
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“If your happiness depends on somebody else being reasonable, you’re in trouble.”
– Abraham
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“Stop looking for your soul mate. Start looking for your soul, mate.”
– unknown
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And once you do that, all that you desire including your soulmate will find their way to you because then you will allow them to. It is law. It is the law of attraction and it is a powerful law.
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Just because you’re a soul having a human experience doesn’t mean that you’re impatient to go “back home.” Enjoy and appreciate every moment of your human journey, and incorporate laughter and joy into every day.
– James Van Praagh
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“You must release your desire for the approval of others, because as long as you are letting the approval of others affect you, you will always be in an out of balance situation, because they are all wanting something different from you.”
– Abraham
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Yes, it does feel good when others approve of us but if our feeling good is dependent upon the approval of others, when they do not approve, we are in trouble as now we cannot feel good till the time they approve of us and getting someone to change their thoughts when they do not want to change is frustrating and futile. Even if you succeed with one person, there are so many more in your life. Who all will you keep changing?
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“In other words, nothing is more annoying than to see someone happy when you’re not. Nothing is more annoying than to see someone living the life you want to live when you are not living it, and , even worse, crowing about it: “Oh, let me tell you how good my life.” “Let’s not go there”, you say.
We don’t want you to compare yourself with anybody else. We just want you to have a comparative awareness of whether this thought that you’re thinking right now is upstream or downstream. And do you know why? Because this thought that you are thinking right now is your point of attraction. This is the thought that you are thinking right now that your life is becoming an indicator of.”
– Abraham
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Sometimes there is a phase or a series of phases in our lives (not in everyone’s as a rule but in many people’s lives) when things are not going the way we want them to, when we are feeling low and when our reality is far from what we want.
At that time, when we look around and find friends/colleagues/family members/ strangers etc happy with their lives, we are angry. This is not because we don’t want good for them but because we are not feeling good and we suddenly become aware that there are others who are enjoying what we so much want for ourselves i.e. to be happy and the awareness of the absence of what we want can make us unhappy.
At that point, if some well meaning friend or some Abraham inspired life coach or a positive person comes along and says “all is well”, all we want to say is “yes, sure, come and see my life and you will know that all is NOT well”. Then he/she says “you need to feel happy in order to get things which make you more happy” and you are like “who is telling you all this nonsense?” Then she/he says “Life is good” and you find yourself rolling your eyes saying “which world do you live in?”…and so on…you get the point I am trying to make?
When you are feeling low, what you want to so desperately want is to feel good but often it’s too much of a stretch considering where you are (and how long you have been in that low feeling state). This is not the time for you to jump into a state of bliss (even if that is what you want). Instead what you could do is try and feel a “little bit” better. That’s all. Trying to go from a feeling of anger to a feeling of optimism is a slow process. After all you did not go from feeling good to feeling anger in one day so coming back to feeling good usually will also take time. It’s an incremental process.
In times like this, distraction helps a lot. Distraction has power and the suggestion is to distract yourself in the few moments during the day when you are feeling a little relief from your pain (emotional or physical or both). So for example, if you have a painful illness or that you are experiencing the pain of being betrayed by your life partner or that you finances are not what you would want them to be or your career is not going the way you want – it could be any of these or something else wherein you are feeling pain. You need to be aware of the moments as the day goes wherein the pain lessens a little bit and you need to catch those moments and distract yourself to something which is easy to appreciate for you (it could be a beautiful holiday you took with your parents in your childhood or that recognition you got in your office or your child’s smile, petting your pet etc). The need is to stretch that moment of relief to as much as you can. As you consistently and consciously do this on an everyday basis, you will find yourself experiencing more of what you want to feel. At a stage wherein you are feeling stronger, then you can come back to the topic/subject of pain for you and find something to appreciate in that also.
The question can arise as to why do you need to find something to appreciate in what has given you pain?
Well, you can continue to feel low, be sarcastic, be defensive, be cynical, harbor hatred, be envious etc but till the time you make peace with the subject that you feel so much pain in, you will find a pattern occurring in your life. The people could be different, the situations could be different, the experiences could be different but the pain would be same. You can continue to feel low/angry/envy/sarcasm etc but the law of attraction will bring you experiences which match your feelings and therefore, you will continue to feel the same. The law of attraction states “like attracts like”. What one is feeling attracts more to feel the same. i.e. if one is feeling good, more experiences manifest which make the person feel even more good and if one is feeling negative, more experiences manifest which make the person feel even more negative.
What you want to feel is not negative emotion but it is joy, freedom, empowerment, love, appreciation, optimism and in order for you to feel what you want, you will have to change your feelings before the experiences can change in your life. Once you make peace with that particular topic (it could be freedom, money, abundance, relationships, marriage, children, parents, death etc), you change your feelings about that topic and then the universe gives you more experiences which match your new vibration.
You make peace with that topic which caused you pain by deliberately finding things to appreciate in and around it. It does look like an effort initially but since you have taken out the time and made the effort of distracting yourself consistently, chances are high that you will be strong enough to find something to appreciate in that specific topic which you found painful. Incase you still feel that you are not strong enough to appreciate the painful topic, you may like to give yourself more time and continue distracting yourself and creating better feeling moments. You may consider anger release and forgiveness exercises which resonate with you.
Once you are feeling strong, you can make “lists of appreciation” around that particular topic which caused you pain. You can focus on what came out of that pain and the lessons you learn’t because of it. You will be writing a new story of that pain. The lists can also be full of appreciation for other things in your life which are going the way you want them to go. If you can appreciate many times during a day, you will create “pockets of appreciation” throughout the day for yourself. When you will be in these pockets of appreciation, you will feel relief from the pain, feel better and most important you would have changed your vibration around that topic. The next time you focus on that topic, you will feel a much more positive vibration.
As you deliberately start creating moments in which you feel better on an everyday basis, you will soon find the experiences in your life changing to match upto your new feelings. Initially, you may find small things working out for you like three green traffic lights in a row or meeting a friend you like and had been thinking about for sometime. We call these coincidences but there is nothing like co-incidence. We “co”-create what we then call “co”-incidences. A lot of times, we co create unconsciously i.e. by default. The process described above will help in co creating consciously and when you know “how to” create the experiences you want, you can always replicate the process for anything that you want.
As you notice these wonderful experiences happening in your life and are able to correlate them to what you are doing consciously and deliberately on a daily basis, you will feel motivated to carry on this path and then you will slowly realise the powerful creator that you are. From this place of strength, it will be easier for your desires to manifest in your reality. You will then stop living life reactively and start living it proactively and people around you who are looking at your life will call you “lucky”, little knowing that now you are the “deliberate creator” you always intended to be.
It’s crucial to change what we are offering vibrationally to the universe in order to change the manifestations (or reality) in our lives and the best thing is that “we can” change our vibrations, if we want to. To quote Abraham again –
“And here’s the most important thing that we want you to hear about that: Because you moved to a different vibrational vantage point, the manifestational evidence has to shift, too. So, in the moment that you make the effort to do that, all things in the universe regarding that subject respond to the new vibration that you’re offering.
So, that’s the day you get an idea that pays off to you. That’s the day you rendezvous with somebody who has something to offer you- and you have something to offer them- and you exchange something financially, as a result of it. In other words, that little bit of effort- you couldn’t see it because its not like driving a car toward a destination, but you felt it, so you knew it: and because you felt it, you kept it up, and you kept it up, and you kept it up, and you kept it up….and pretty soon you don’t just hope that you’ll have abundance- you don’t just believe it- you know it, because the evidence is so emphatically surrounding you.
Just thought by thought by thought by thought by thought by thought by thought, you clean it up, clean it up, clean it up, clean it up. What do we mean by “clean it up”? You tell the way you want it to be, and tell less the way you don’t want it to be. You stop facing reality and you start creating reality.”
– Abraham (Money and Law of attraction – learning to attract wealth, health and happiness by Esther and Jerry Hicks, The teachings of Abraham)
“Follow your bliss and do what you love. We tend to do what we think we should do, rather than what our heart tells us to do.
Do what makes your heart sing!”
– Anita Moorjani
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And if there is something that you feel you have to do (even though you do not want to do it), you may choose to feel differently about it before doing it. You can refocus or redirect your thoughts on that topic so that you feel better about it before offering any action. Incase you cannot feel better about it, the suggestion is do not do it… at least not until you can feel better about it.
Action is important but more important is the vibrational place from where it is offered. When you are feeling powerless, you feel like doing a particular action. When you are feeling angry, there is another kind of action which you feel like carrying out. When you are feeling hope, there is yet another kind of action which you feel inspired to and when you are feeling love and appreciation, there is another kind of action which you feel like doing. So, the action has value but what is more important is the vibrational place from where it is offered.
Sometimes, the reality we are living is so uncomfortable that we cannot feel good about it as of now. In that situation, one can choose to carry out an action which makes it easier to distract oneself from the reality and to feel good. At some point, when one is ready, one can look at the reality and choose to focus upon it in way which makes one feel better about it. Choosing the vibrational path of least resistance is always better than the action path of least resistance but I do see situations in which choosing the action path of least resistance seems to be better in the present moment.
The law of attraction states “like attracts like” i.e. what you are thinking and thereby feeling on a topic attracts more to feel the same. If you would like experiences which make you feel good to come more often your way, you would want to feel good in the now. You always have a choice.
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“It is interesting that when you believe that something is not good for you, and you do it anyway – What is the message that you are giving yourself?
Either ‘I do not like myself’, which is exactly what we are getting at, it is sort of inflicting self punishment or it is a feeling of unworthiness or a feeling of inadequacy.”
– Abraham
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