Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: Psychology

Love you, Louise Hay

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“Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.”

– Louise Hay

(October 8, 1926 – August 30, 2017)

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Somewhere in 2001, I picked up this book by Louise Hay – “You can heal your life” at one of my favorite book stores in New Delhi, India – Fact and Fiction, Vasant Vihar.

Though it took me time to fully absorb the meaning of what Louise wrote in it, this book started my inner work journey. Over the years, depending on my readiness, I got to understand what the book was saying. I went on to read many more of her books, see her videos and listen to the CDs. It’s been great reconnecting to myself, to the whole of who I am and living life from this place of strength. Thank you, Louise, for introducing me to loving myself, no matter what and for sharing how we can love ourselves and I thank myself for allowing myself to reconnect to that love in my life.

Though my Psychology background introduced me to some great work about human psyche and through the years up until now, I have been fortunate to read deep, profound thoughts by some other amazing teachers, Louise Hay holds a special place in my heart.

It is awesome to live life from this place of love and strength and to be able to show those who are ready and therefore, open, willing and receptive the same through the fulfilling work that I do. I hardly call it “work” in the traditional sense of the word – it’s my passion, my calling. It’s awesome to have so much fun in my life and to be able to share “how” I am living such a beautiful life with those who are interested and ready to know. I love seeing the wonderful experiences that I have allowed and am allowing in my life and the beautiful experiences my clients (and also those who are not my clients) have allowed and are allowing in their lives – so much fun! I am glad that what Louise started is impacting so many lives through so many avenues – books, CDs, videos, teachers, her website, Facebook etc.

Next to Louise Hay’s book in this pic is a note which my son wrote when he was three years of age (he is now 9 years of age). In this note, he is affirming that he loves himself…something which Louise Hay taught and further he has written that he loves me too. My son had just started learning alphabets in preschool when he wrote this note which makes it even more cute and special for me as a parent. He used to see me saying my affirmations and doing mirror work at home and just by observing (without me telling him to do this), he absorbed and wrote this. Children learn so much through osmosis. Abraham say that words seldom teach, experiences do. I feel that it’s only through our own example that we have any chances of teaching those who are ready and willing. It is not a guarantee that the other person will learn (which is absolutely okay too…I understand and respect that ….learning as per our readiness is always of more value than learning by being forced in any way…and each one of us has our own beautiful, unique and individual journey) but chances are high. The value of words is that they can lead to thoughts which can lead to experiences which can lead to reconnecting to that understanding and knowledge deep within us all.

Over the years, as I see my son staying connected predominantly and consistently to who he is, to that “knowing” deep within, loving himself and loving life, I feel extremely happy. One of the lines that he often repeats is – “I love being alive.” I feel a deep personal bond with you, Louise (as do many other people in this world). Even though we never met, you have had such a positive influence on my life (and on the lives of so many awesome teachers in this world) and through me (and all the other teachers too), on the lives of all those who are ready for your beautiful teachings. Thank you so much.

Loving ourselves is not arrogance (Louise said that arrogance is always from a place of fear) but a genuine appreciation for the divine expression of life that we are. That genuine appreciation makes it easier to feel love for ourselves and from that place of love, we are of so much more value to ourselves and to anyone else that we want to be of value to. In addition, when we love ourselves, the changes that we would like to make in us and in our lives, would be made from a place of love which has much more value than changes made from a place of lack or criticism or a focus on the absence of what one wants. Loving ourselves is an empowered, joyful, worthy, loving place full of appreciation. It’s a place where we are feeling what we want to feel – i.e. the fullness of who we truly are – pure, positive energy.

Thank you, Louise, for introducing me to Abraham Hicks. You wrote on your website (this is when I first came to know about Abraham Hicks) about Abraham being the teacher of teachers and I totally agree. Thank you, Louise, for touching the lives of so many people in this world in such a positive way. Thank you, Louise, for being you.

I love you Louise and I know you are with us in a much more whole way than you have ever been. I also know that when I feel love for you, it is me allowing myself to reflect your love for me back to you. You are with us and I love love love you from the bottom of my heart. Every fiber in my being, every cell in my body feels love for you <3

“As I say YES to life, life says YES to me.”

– Louise Hay

 

The vibrational place from where the action is inspired is more important than the action itself

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“The rule of thumb is, you never take action when there is negative emotion within you because it is always counterproductive. Always talk to yourself until you feel better and then follow the inspired action that comes from that open valve.”

– Abraham

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If you can’t find anyway to soothe yourself with regard to a particular topic that you are feeling negative emotion around, you can always use the power of distraction. Distraction is powerful. You can choose to distract yourself to something else which you find easy to appreciate. As you feel better, you can focus more on topics which you feel good about. As you focus and feel better predominantly and consistently, more often than not, you will find that the specific topic which was painful to you earlier is no longer painful. Due to the new vibrational place you are in now, you may not feel pain while thinking about that topic.

If it is still painful, chances are high that from this place of feeling happy predominantly and consistently, you will be able to look at what was painful earlier, in a way which makes you feel better about it. From this place of feeling better and stronger, the action which you feel inspired to offer, with regard to that topic, will be of so much more of value to you and to anyone else you would want it to be of value to.

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Photo credit – pixabay.com via pexels.com

You can deliberately allow life experiences which others who are looking at your life would call miracles

A photo by Juskteez Vu. unsplash.com/photos/TIrXot28Znc

“There is force in the universe which, if we permit it, will flow through us and produce miraculous results”

– Mahatma Gandhi

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Photo credit – Juskteez Vu via unsplash.com

Is it selfish to love yourself?

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“I don’t recall being encouraged to cherish myself.

In fact, it would never even have occurred to me to do so.

It’s commonly thought as being selfish.

But my near death experience allowed me to realize that this was the key to my healing.”

– Anita Moorjani

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Photo credit – Pixabay.com via pexels.com

We are all free

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It’s just so happened that on some occasions in the past whenever I was feeling good, I saw butterflies. So connecting these two, I started noticing butterflies and feeling good and since feeling good is the same feeling as that of being aligned to who we are, I thought that seeing butterflies means I am aligned or in other words, I started seeing butterflies as a sign of my alignment. Alignment meant that I am feeling good and therefore, am allowing the law of attraction to match me up with more to feel even more good. Thinking like this, I started seeing butterflies as a sign of more good to come.

For me it was butterflies but for someone else, it could be something other than butterflies – maybe, a rainbow, maybe seeing a particular number, a particular color etc. Many people start thinking – “if I see, the day will be good” or ”if I see that, the day will be negative” as the case maybe. Based on each individual’s experience, he/she can have other things which he/she feels are a sign of one’s alignment and hence, a sign of what is to come.

Thankfully, based on what I now “know”, I snapped out of it pretty soon. I realized that instead of projecting my thoughts and connecting the two, I can always acknowledge my ability to feel good on my own with or without butterflies. Of course, it feels good to see butterflies (or any other thing that one likes) but I am not dependent on them to feel good. I can feel good on my own too i.e. through the feel-good thoughts I choose to focus on. When I do that, I reconnect to my freedom – i.e. the freedom we all have to feel good on our own, irrespective of the situation we are observing.

So, now when I see butterflies, do I smile and feel good? Yes, I do but it is not because I feel that they are a sign of my alignment but because I find them beautiful.

Am I dependent on seeing butterflies to feel good? No, I am not. I am free and so is everyone else on this planet to feel good on their own…through the power of our own focus.

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Photo credit – Duong Tran Quoc via unsplash.com

You were, you are and you always will be worthy

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“Your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.”

– unknown

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Photo credit – Michael Battaglia via unsplash.com

Why are negative memories easier to recall than positive memories?

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Ever wondered why do we remember negative memories more easily than positive memories? Sharing an interesting article which enumerates “why” and also what can we do to tip the balance in favor of positive memories.

Takeaways from this interesting article below –

  1. We tend to remember negative memories more easily than positive memories
  2. Small positive acts have more value than one big positive act
  3. It takes five positive memories to offset one negative memory
  4. You can feel positive more often by deliberating thinking more about topics which are easy for you to appreciate.

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Our Brain’s Negative Bias

Why our brains are more highly attuned to negative news.

– By Hara Estroff Marano, published on June 20, 2003 – last reviewed on November 20, 2015 in Psychology Today

Why do insults once hurled at us stick inside our skull, sometimes for decades? Why do some people have to work extra hard to ward off depression?

The answer is, for the same reason political smear campaigns outpull positive ones. Nastiness just makes a bigger impact on our brains.

And that is due to the brain’s “negativity bias”: Your brain is simply built with a greater sensitivity to unpleasant news. The bias is so automatic that it can be detected at the earliest stage of the brain’s information processing.

Take, for example, the studies done by John Cacioppo, Ph.D., then at Ohio State University, now at the University of Chicago. He showed people pictures known to arouse positive feelings (say, a Ferrari, or a pizza), those certain to stir up negative feelings (a mutilated face or dead cat) and those known to produce neutral feelings (a plate, a hair dryer). Meanwhile, he recorded electrical activity in the brain’s cerebral cortex that reflects the magnitude of information processing taking place.

The brain, Cacioppo demonstrated, reacts more strongly to stimuli it deems negative. There is a greater surge in electrical activity. Thus, our attitudes are more heavily influenced by downbeat news than good news.

Our capacity to weigh negative input so heavily most likely evolved for a good reason—to keep us out of harm’s way. From the dawn of human history, our very survival depended on our skill at dodging danger. The brain developed systems that would make it unavoidable for us not to notice danger and thus, hopefully, respond to it.

All well and good. Having the built-in brain apparatus supersensitive to negativity means that the same bad-news bias also is at work in every sphere of our lives at all times.

So it should come as no surprise to learn that it plays an especially powerful role in our most intimate relationships. Numerous researchers have found that there is an ideal balance between negativity and positivity in the atmosphere between partners. There seems to be some kind of thermostat operating in healthy marriages that almost automatically regulates the balance between positive and negative.

What really separates contented couples from those in deep marital misery is a healthy balance between their positive and negative feelings and actions toward each other. Even couples who are volatile and argue a lot stick together by balancing their frequent arguments with a lot of demonstrations of love and passion. And they seem to know exactly when positive actions are needed.

Here’s the tricky part. Because of the disproportionate weight of the negative, balance does not mean a 50-50 equilibrium. Researchers have carefully charted the amount of time couples spend fighting vs. interacting positively. And they have found that a very specific ratio exists between the amount of positivity and negativity required to make married life satisfying to both partners.

That magic ratio is five to one. As long as there was five times as much positive feeling and interaction between husband and wife as there was negative, researchers found, the marriage was likely to be stable over time. In contrast, those couples who were heading for divorce were doing far too little on the positive side to compensate for the growing negativity between them.

Other researchers have found the same results in other spheres of our life. It is the frequency of small positive acts that matters most, in a ratio of about five to one.

Occasional big positive experiences—say, a birthday bash—are nice. But they don’t make the necessary impact on our brain to override the tilt to negativity. It takes frequent small positive experiences to tip the scales toward happiness.

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Photo credit – Jordan McQueen via unsplash.com

We always have a choice

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Reminds me of something a professor said during my undergraduation in Psychology – “If you want, you can be your best friend and if you want, you can be your worst enemy.”

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“I am the loving operator of my mind.”

– Louise Hay

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photo credit – Jordan McQueen via unsplash.com

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