Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: relationship (Page 1 of 4)

Feeling relief when in fear

What fear is …..is a feeling I have when I am holding a desire in my conscious attention and a belief that contradicts it in the same moment.

– Abraham-Hicks
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Examples of the above – desiring financial prosperity and believing that it will be difficult for you to get it or desiring a recovery from a particular illness and having a belief that the recovery you desire is rare and difficult. Basically, fear is the negative emotion (or one of the negative emotions) that you feel when you think the thought – “I can’t have what I want.”

The good news is that if you want and if you feel ready to, you can change your beliefs in order to align them with your desires as per your path of least resistance 🙂

You do that by soothing yourself thought by thought, moment by moment, as per your own beautiful, unique and individual pace whenever you feel ready to do so. Initially distracting yourself to topics which are easy for you to appreciate helps in feeling relief more often and then from this place of relief and strength, if one wants and feels ready to, one can soothe oneself on the topic one feels fear on.

Of course, pre-paving on a daily basis helps in not only reducing the frequency of life experiences which have the potential for you to choose fear but it also reduces the intensity of the fear that you feel when in them and hence helps in your regaining your balance easily as compared to before you started pre-paving. Pre-paving means allowing more feel-good moments (i.e. moments in which you are feeling relief, moments in which you are feeling good, moments in which you have a spring in your step, moments in which you have a song in your heart, moments in which you are relaxed, positive emotion feeling moments…) and as you do so predominantly and consistently, you develop vibrational muscles, you develop sea legs, you develop good shock absorbers in life. The action you feel inspired to from this place of strength is so much more than from a place of lack. This is not the only way to react to fear but it is an easy and effective way.

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“When you fear anything, don’t take the next step or do something you’re afraid to do. There are a lot of people that will say: “Oh just push through it, and when you push through it, then you’ll get over being afraid of it.”

And we encourage you to do instead is to come into alignment with what you want first by finding the thoughts that feel good, because fear is there for a reason.

The fear is saying: “there’s resistance within you, that is going to attract some of what you want and some of what you don’t want.

Why not clean it up before you take action?

-Abraham-Hicks

 

Bless you fear, thank you for pointing out that I just blocked something that I want, with a bogus habit of thought, that doesn’t apply and has no relevance to where I am now and where I’m going. THAT’S the nugget we’ve been reaching for, that’s the taking thought beyond which it has been before, that’s why we want you to make peace with your negative emotion, that’s why we want you to understand what it is, that’s why we want you to stop standing in a place being mad at yourself or someone else, feeling negative emotion.

Bless you fear. You’re reminding me that I’ve got some vibrational work to do. You’re not here to remind me that I can’t have what I want, you’re just here to remind me that I’m not ready for what I want yet.

Thank you negative emotion for reminding me of amplifying the thought, that there is something that I keenly want, to which I’m not in the vibrational vicinity of, but I have the ability to close that Gap with a little bit of effort.”

– Abraham-Hicks

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Photo credit – Radu Florin via unsplash.com

The wound has value

 

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

– Rumi
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It does not have to be this way but for most people who allow themselves to reconnect in their own, beautiful, unique and individual way with who they are, with the light that is within as well as surrounding them at all times, the clear desire to heal the wound, the strong desire for well-being, the sharp desire for feeling free and happy is the reason to start allowing the reconnection. The wound helps in making this desire clearer, stronger and sharper as compared to before the wound. When one has a strong desire and allows it in one’s physical reality by being a match to it vibrationally, one starts living life empowered and free.

This is the value of the wound. It can help in choosing to allow unconditional happiness more often and when one allows and practices unconditional happiness every day throughout the day, one allows the feeling of empowerment, freedom, worthiness, joy, love and appreciation, predominantly and consistently. We are pure positive energy and we love the moments in which we are feeling the essence of who we are, moments where we are “in the flow” or what athletes call – “being in the zone”. Composers, authors, artists, inventors etc. have long realized that if they are not in the flow, nothing flows.

The wound may be painful but it does have value in helping us grow beyond where we were into a place of true freedom – i.e. freedom from needing conditions to be met before we can be happy. Yes, it is a practice and that is the work for all of us on a daily basis – choosing a better feeling thought on a moment to moment, thought to thought basis (on the topic of the wound, if we feel ready to or by distracting ourselves to any other topic which is easy for us to appreciate in that moment) as per our own beautiful and unique pace, our individual path of least resistance. The journey is eternal.

One of the awesome results of this unconditional happiness is that we allow the law of attraction to match us up with more to be even more happy about as we are already in the same or similar vibration/feeling predominantly and consistently (not always but predominantly and consistently). Even if one can feel positive emotions 55% of the time every day, one would have managed to allow a substantial change in one’s predominant and consistent vibrations and hence of what one allows to manifest in one’s life. The better it gets, the better it gets.

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Photo Credit – Christopher Sardegna via unsplash.com

Letting go of the struggle

“The less you try to get others to understand your point of view, the clearer your vibration will be and the better you will feel because you’re really asking them to do something that they’re not wired to do.”

– Abraham-Hicks
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It feels nice when others understand you the way you want to be understood but if your happiness depends on other people and their understanding you, you are setting yourself up for frustration. Even the ones who love you and understand you can’t understand you all the time in the way you want to be understood. You may like to consider being happy, no matter what because if you are waiting for the condition to be satisfied (i.e. the condition of their getting you, their understanding you) before you allow yourself to feel positive emotions, you may have a journey which has more struggle than ease. Nothing wrong with that as negative emotion also has value (it helps you give birth to desires and amend earlier desires) but when you can have a journey which is both easy and effective predominantly and consistently, you could consider letting go of the struggle around the topic of other people understanding you.

You don’t let go of your desire to be understood but when you let go of the negative thoughts around this topic, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with people who are more understanding and accepting of others, people who are predominantly and consistently in a place of love and compassion (they are able to extend their understanding and compassion even to those whose actions may not seem justified to them). It’s so interesting that when you decide to not care (not in defiance or any other negative emotion but from a place of having made peace with this topic) and thereby, feel the relief that comes with it, you allow more experiences which make you feel even more of the relief/ ease/ good-feeling place that you are in. You allow more of the people who are a match to your new thoughts/vibrations/feelings on this topic – i.e. who make it easy for you to choose feeling ease. You start allowing the desire (of the kind of life experiences that you want) that life helped inspire within you. As you practice allowing better feeling thoughts, you allow your desire to manifest easily and in its full glory. The easier it gets, the easier it gets.

In all this practice (as per your individual and beautiful pace), if you do meet someone who is not accepting or does not understand you, chances of you choosing a knee-jerk reaction are less as you are practicing your feel-good (or feel better) muscle every day. As you practice predominantly and consistently, due the place of well-being, ease and strength that you are already in (before meeting someone who does not accept or understand you), chances are also high that even if you do choose to have knee-jerk reaction (you are human and it’s of value to be kind and gentle with yourself), you will be able to reconnect to your alignment easily as compared to before you started consciously, predominantly and consistently practicing better feeling thoughts about this topic. You will have better shock absorbers in life.

When you leave others out of the equation (i.e. irrelevant to your focusing on better feeling thoughts), you reconnect to your freedom, to empowerment, to joy, to unconditional alignment. From this place of strength, you are of tremendous value to yourself and to those that you would like to be of value to. At the end of the day, it is a choice – even when it seems that we have no choice (this thought is also something that you choose, either by default or consciously). There is no right or wrong in this. Even though others can agree or disagree with whatever choice you make, it is your own, beautiful, unique and individual journey.

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Photo credit – Sirirak Boonruangjak via pexels.com

 

Happy New Year

“The greatest gift you can give another person is your own happiness.”

– Abraham- Hicks

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Affirming moments on a predominant and consistent basis during this beautiful year where you give the gift of your own happiness to yourself and to all those that you want to be of value to.

Happy New Year!

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Photo credit – Bekka Mongeau via pexels.com

 

Do not look for love in all the wrong places

 

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“Don’t worry if someone doesn’t like you. Most people are struggling to like themselves.”

– Unknown

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When you expect love from people who are not even loving themselves in the first place, it’s like expecting a loan from someone who does not have money. Knowing this helps in feeling relief when you meet someone who doesn’t like you. This is not to justify but to understand and understanding is important in order for you to move on without negative emotion.

Some people may say “no! people who do not like me do love themselves. I do see them laughing and having fun”. Firstly, you have no means of knowing how they truly feel within. Secondly, you must understand that when someone loves himself/ herself, from that place of love and strength, whoever has the benefit of laying their eyes on this person feels that love if he/she is in the vibrational vicinity. From this place of feeling love and feeling good – you want to appreciate, you want to smile, you want to pass compliments, you have a spring in your step, you feel good, you feel ease, you feel joy, you are kind and gentle with yourself and with others. From this empowered place, you are of so much value to yourself and to others you want to be of value to.

So, when you love yourself, it’s easier to feel love for others too.

Even if you choose not to move away from someone who does not love you, understanding this will help in feeling better when with such people or while thinking about such people. In addition to focusing in this way, distracting yourself to topics which are easy for you to appreciate also helps in feeling better. It’s important to feel better because firstly, that is what you want. You want to feel better. Everything that you want in your life – better health, more money, better career, starting a new venture, a more nurturing relationship etc. is because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that you are targeting. Looking at a situation in a way which makes you feel relief, allows you to feel better in the first place (which is what you want) even though the situation may not have changed. You reconnect to your freedom – freedom from negative thoughts.

Secondly, as you feel better predominantly and consistently (irrespective of the situation you are in), you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more to feel even more better about. Your physical reality changes to be a match to your new, improved, predominant and consistent vibrations about a topic which earlier used to be painful to you. That is when you start living as the creator that you intended to be – creator of your life experiences. You reconnect to your power.

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Photo credit – Julian Jagtenberg via pexels.com

 

I am worthy of love simply because I exist :)

 

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“As I looked at the great tapestry that was the accumulation of my life up to that point, I was able to identify exactly what had brought me to where I was today.

Just look at my life path! Why, oh why, have I always been so harsh with myself? Why was I always beating myself up? Why was I always forsaking myself? Why did I never stand up for myself and show the world the beauty of my own soul?

Why was I always suppressing my own intelligence and creativity to please others? I betrayed myself every time I said “yes” when I meant “no”! Why have I violated myself by always needing to seek approval from others just to be myself? Why haven’t I followed my own beautiful heart and spoken my own truth?

Why don’t we realize this when we’re in our physical bodies? How come I never knew that we’re not supposed to be so tough on ourselves?

I still felt myself completely enveloped in a sea of unconditional love and acceptance. I was able to look at myself with fresh eyes, and I saw that I was a beautiful being of the Universe. I understood that just the fact that I existed made me worthy of this tender regard rather than judgment. I didn’t need to do anything specific; I deserved to be loved simply because I existed, nothing more and nothing less.”

– Anita Moorjani, Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing

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The vibrational place from where the action is inspired is more important than the action itself

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“The rule of thumb is, you never take action when there is negative emotion within you because it is always counterproductive. Always talk to yourself until you feel better and then follow the inspired action that comes from that open valve.”

– Abraham

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If you can’t find anyway to soothe yourself with regard to a particular topic that you are feeling negative emotion around, you can always use the power of distraction. Distraction is powerful. You can choose to distract yourself to something else which you find easy to appreciate. As you feel better, you can focus more on topics which you feel good about. As you focus and feel better predominantly and consistently, more often than not, you will find that the specific topic which was painful to you earlier is no longer painful. Due to the new vibrational place you are in now, you may not feel pain while thinking about that topic.

If it is still painful, chances are high that from this place of feeling happy predominantly and consistently, you will be able to look at what was painful earlier, in a way which makes you feel better about it. From this place of feeling better and stronger, the action which you feel inspired to offer, with regard to that topic, will be of so much more of value to you and to anyone else you would want it to be of value to.

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Photo credit – pixabay.com via pexels.com

Be happy, no matter what

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“To hold someone as your object of attention while you’re connected to Source Energy, is the greatest gift that anyone could give.

When you’re not happy, you don’t have anything to give. And so, what it literally means is be happy, because you cannot give anyone something that you do not feel.”

– Abraham

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Some people may ask how can I be happy when there is so much to feel unhappy about around me? The answer lies in the power of your focus. You can imagine the desires which things that you do not like have helped inspire within you, you can remember something which makes you feel good, you can think about what you find easy to appreciate, you can meditate, you can nap, you can take a relaxing walk next to nature, you can play with your pet, you can indulge in a hobby – so many ways in which you can feel better.

Initially, it may seem like an effort but as you practice feeling happy (no matter what) predominantly and consistently, it gets easier. As you feel happy more often (not always but predominantly and consistently) , you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more to feel even more good and then it gets even more easier to feel happy. The easier it gets, the easier it gets.

From this place of happiness when you give someone your attention, you bring the whole of you. You are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to from this place of strength.

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Photo credit – Aatik Tasneem via unsplash.com

Fear or hope?

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“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

–  Nelson Mandela

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The vibrational place (in other words, the emotional place) from where you are focused on a particular situation will determine both – the action you feel inspired to offering and also the further life experiences you allow the law of attraction to match you up with. Thoughts which make you feel better, which make you feel relief, which make it easier for you to feel hope are different from thoughts which make you feel doubt or fear or any other negative emotion. You can choose in any moment which thoughts you would like to focus on. You always have a choice.

Problems have value because if there were no problems, we would not seek solutions and therefore, we would not move forward, expand and grow. For the purpose of expansion, problems or questions have value but when one is all warped up in the problem, it’s difficult to see the solution and even if one does find a solution, at best, it is a mediocre one. In order to create as the master creators that we are, its important to be at the periphery of the problem – not so warped up in it that you can’t see the answers you are seeking.

When giving attention to a problem, one can choose to focus on it by being aware of it and then moving one’s focus onto the desire that is being inspired within because of the problem i.e. onto the solution or the answer. As one moves one’s focus to the desire that life has caused to be inspired within, it easier to feel relief and then hope.

Sometimes, it seems difficult to focus on the solution as the problem feels big. The suggestion then is to focus on any other topic which is easy to appreciate and feel good about. This helps in distracting oneself from thinking about the problem. When feeling better predominantly and consistently, chances are high that one will feel ready to focus on the problem one is facing from a solution oriented approach.

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Unconditionally loving yourself

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“Because we cannot give what we do not have, loving ourselves is absolutely necessary before we can truly love anyone else.”

– Anita Moorjani

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I have seen that when people feel a resonance with the above words, they also ask as to how can we love ourselves, what does loving ourselves look like, how does it play out? Therefore, am sharing this wonderful article by Louise Hay on how can we love ourselves –

12 Ways You Can Love Yourself Now

Learn helpful tips for self-love.

I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.

Loving yourself is a wonderful adventure; it’s like learning to fly. Imagine if we all had the power to fly at will? How exciting it would be! Let’s begin to love ourselves now.

Here are 12 Commandments to help you learn how to love yourself:

  1. Stop All Criticism.

Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

  1. Forgive Yourself.

Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.

  1. Don’t Scare Yourself.

Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

  1. Be Gentle and Kind and Patient.

Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

  1. Be Kind to Your Mind.

Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

  1. Praise Yourself.

Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

  1. Support Yourself.

Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

  1. Be Loving to Your Negatives.

Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

  1. Take Care of Your Body.

Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

  1. Do Mirror Work.

Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say, I love you, I really love you!

  1. Love Yourself . . . Do It Now.

Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now—and do the best you can.

  1. Have Fun.

Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!

Let’s affirm: I love myself just the way I am.

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If we love ourselves and therefore are happy appreciating the magnificent creation of life that we are, we find it easier to feel good and also to be of value to whoever we may want to be of value to. Loving ourselves is not the same as vanity or arrogance (that is not love, it’s always fear as Louise Hay says). Loving ourselves is genuinely appreciating the incredible beings that we are.

Joseph Campbell said – “follow your bliss” and Abraham call these words as the most profound words ever uttered. I agree. When you follow your bliss, you feel good and then it’s easier to love yourself and when you love yourself, it’s easier to follow your bliss. A never ending cycle of well-being 🙂

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