Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: Rumi

Loving yourself

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“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either.” – Mandy Hale


The above words could sound a little harsh but they do point to something of tremendous value – the importance of loving yourself.

Instead of looking at others to love you (who may or may not have the ability to offer love and appreciation for you at that point), you can always choose to focus your own loving gaze on yourself 🙂 …..and when you do so predominantly and consistently, you allow the law of attraction to match you up more and more with people who also appreciate you just the way you do and if you do meet someone who does not, it would not matter to you (as much as it may have before you initiated loving yourself everyday) as you, in any case, have reconnected to that genuine love and appreciation for yourself (even before meeting that person). From this place of love and strength, it’s easier to feel good, no matter what and even when you are not in this place of love, chances are high that because of the place of love and strength you are in predominantly and consistently, you will be able to be kind to yourself and be able to easily and gently guide and soothe yourself back, when ready, to the place of feeling good again. You will be living more and more moments on an everyday basis where you are feeling joy, love, appreciation, worthy and free…. – a beautiful place to be in.

Loving yourself may seem like an effort initially but as you go along, it gets easier. It’s like learning a new skill. Yes, it does require every day practice esp. initially. In the initial days, sometimes it may be easy and sometimes, it may not and that is okay. When a baby learns to walk, it does not start running the very first time. Learning to love yourself again is like that. The suggestion is to be kind and gentle with yourself while on this beautiful journey. Knowing that it’s an eternal journey helps in feeling ease more often.

Many times, one may find that unconditional happiness is an easier place to start feeling than unconditional love and that is also okay. In fact, first practicing unconditional happiness and then when ready, as per your beautiful and unique path of least resistance including unconditional love in your daily practice has higher chances of making the process easier.

Louise Hay has said that loving yourself is not vanity or arrogance as that is always from a place of fear….loving yourself means genuinely appreciation the unique and beautiful expression of life that you are. The universe is expressing itself through you. Sharing a quote by Rumi – “Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion”. Carl Sagan has written in his book, Cosmos – ““The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” You are part of this boundaryless, ever-expanding universe. You are so much more than what you can see with your eyes. You are magnificent, just like the universe of which you are a part, a beautiful and unique part.

When you nurture, love and support yourself, when you honor the magnificent creation of life that you are, when you do what makes your heart sing, when you think thoughts that give you relief and help you feel better – in other words, when you practice unconditional happiness and unconditional love, you reconnect to your freedom and to your power. From this place of love and strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.

At the end, sharing a simple, deep, profound and empowering quote by Abraham-Hicks –

“The greatest thing you can give yourself is freedom from what others think.”

You are magnificent

 

“Don’t you know yet? It is your light that lights the world.”

– Rumi
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Yes, it does happen that in a moment when we choose to focus in a way that makes it easy for us to feel negative emotion, we have chosen to separate ourselves from who we truly are (the good news being that whenever we want to and feel ready to, we can reconnect back to who we are…and this place of readiness can be different for different people as we all have our own, beautiful, individual and unique journeys) but this decision/choice to separate ourselves from who we truly are in a particular moment in no way takes away from who we truly are i.e. pure positive energy. Our essence, our being, our core is ever-expanding, infinite, eternal, pure positive energy and that is why we love feeling positive emotions.

Negative emotion has value (as it helps us give birth to desires and/or amend our desires) but it is our positive-feeling moments that we love feeling – love, appreciation, worthy, free, empowered, joy, optimism, hope, passion, eager, happiness and other positive emotions. Whatever it is that we want – a more nurturing relationship, health, money, a promotion at work, starting a new venture, buying a new house, a bigger car etc. – we believe that we will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that we are targeting – the positive emotion because that is our essence and we love moments in which we are aligned with who we are, in which we are feeling our essence.

Whenever we choose to separate ourselves from who we truly are and we choose not to reconnect, we don’t like that separation (even in situations where we may like it initially like anger as compared to despair feels more powerful but if you get stuck in anger, you don’t like it after sometime) as we feel the call of our core, our being, our essence as we are not in alignment as of that point. Whenever we feel ready to, we can always pivot in ways which are easy for us (our unique and beautiful path of least resistance) to focus on positive feeling thoughts, on thoughts which give us relief, on thoughts which make us smile, on thoughts which make us feel better from where we are. As we practice our good-feeling place/vibrations/thoughts every day throughout the day, in this place of positive emotions, we are either in alignment or in the vicinity of that alignment with who we truly are, predominantly and consistently. This vibrational place of alignment is what we love as in that alignment, we are home. From this place of strength, we are of so much more value to ourselves and to anyone else that we would like to be of value to.

“You are magnificent. Please know this.”

– Anita Moorjani

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Feeling ease because it feels so good

lady ease pexels free stock photo

“When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety. If I sit in my place of patience, what I want flows to me, and without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it.”

– Rumi.

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When you prepare here (by being happy wherever you are), there (i.e. what you want) comes over here and it comes over here “easily”. This is different from you going over there to get what you want. This is not to say that do not offer action but action from a place of alignment (from a place of feeling good) is very powerful.

When you are feeling despair, you feel like offering a particular kind of action. When you are feeling anger, there is another kind of action which you feel like offering. When you are feeling hope, there is yet another kind of action which you feel inspired to offer and when you are feeling love and appreciation, there is yet another kind of action which you feel like offering. The action offered is important but more important is the vibrational place from where it is inspired.

First line up energy (by feeling good even though what you want hasn’t manifested) and then offer the action inspired from within you. You can offer action without lining up energy but the journey will be hard. Why make it hard when you can make it easy and also get the full potential of what you want? Why swim upstream when you can swim downstream (and hence enjoy the journey to what you want) and get the full potential of what you want (rather than a minuscule amount)?

This is very different from the thought that you must work hard, you must strive hard, you must sacrifice to get what you want, there is no gain without pain. That is one way of living/achieving what you want but not the only way. Choice is always yours.

I want to quote Abraham Hicks here – “You cannot have a happy ending to an unhappy journey.” You may find a solution at the end of an unhappy journey but it will be a mediocre one as compared to what you can manifest/ allow when you enjoy the journey to what you want. When you allow yourself to enjoy the journey by focusing on what makes you feel good predominantly and consistently, you allow the master solutions to be revealed to you as ideas, as impulses, as thoughts.

The frequency (i.e. the feeling or the vibration) of the problem and the frequency of the solution are different. In order to allow the solution to occur to you, being in its vibrational vicinity (i.e. feeling either the same or in the vicinity of feeling better which is what the solution will make you feel) will be of tremendous value. As Abraham Hicks say that the best vibrational place to be in – “I am satisfied where I am and eager for more”. I am feeling happy where I am and eager for feeling even more happy.

I want to add that instead of the word “patience” in the above quote, I would suggest the word “ease”. Feeling ease where you are. How do you feel ease when you don’t like a reality you are living, when it is so much in your face? You do so by going general into topics which are easy for you to appreciate. As you do this each day throughout the day, you will reach a place where you feel good more often. From this place of strength, chances are high that you will be able to look at something which was painful earlier is a way which gives you relief.

If you feel that you would like to and are ready to focus on something which was and/or is painful for you in a way which makes you feel relief – you can soothe yourself by telling yourself – “take a deep breath, relax, there there, it’s okay, things will get better, you have been in situations which were painful but you did come out if them so this too will be fine, all is well, there are people who are living the reality I want who were once in the same place that I am in, I am where I am and it’s okay” and similar statements. There is no right or wrong statement – just go by the relief it makes you feel. And before long, you will be feeling better. Be your own best friend.

A question can come up here – how much time will it take to feel better? The time taken will depend on two things – what you are feeling (i.e. your vibrations) and how committed you are to feeling better every day throughout the day.

As you soothe yourself and feel relief, you will walk toward feeling better. As you feel better more often every day, you will be walking towards feeling good more often. As you feel good more often, you will allow the law of attraction to match you up with all that you want because then you are in the same or similar vibration of your desire. You believe that once you have what you want, you will feel better. As you are feeling better now (even though what you want has not manifested), you allow the law of attraction to match you with all that you want in all it’s glory “easily”. The law of attraction is not saying that you feel good all the time but even if you can feel good 55% of the time every day, you would have managed a substantial difference to your vibrations and hence of what manifests in your life.

If not for anything else, just for the feeling of it, feeling better from wherever you are is worth a shot 🙂

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The voice which you can only feel

sunset-summer-golden-hour-paul-filitchkin

“There is a voice which does not use words. Listen.”

– Rumi

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You were born with emotions, your guidance system. When you are feeling good, your inner being (whom many call soul) is also feeling good. When you are feeling negative emotion, you are focused in a way which is separate from that of your soul because your soul will never join you in that negative emotion place. It adores and loves you even when you are feeling negative but it will not join you because it is pure positive energy and chooses to remain that eternally.

You can change the way you are focused on a topic if it does not make you feel good. When you feel relief, the gap between the physical you and your inner being reduces or in other words, when the gap reduces, you feel relief. That positive emotion is the indicator that you are walking towards who you truly are – pure positive energy.

Your inner being or infinite intelligence or source energy or soul or inner self (you can call it whatever you are comfortable with) does not use words. Your feelings are your indicator of where you are vis-a-vis your source. You “feel” your way through all of this.

Musicians, artists, inventors, writers, athletes, composers, authors etc have long realized that until and unless they are in the flow, nothing flows. That flow is something you feel. Your feelings are important.

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You are magnificent

mirror - drmakete lab

“You’ve no idea how hard I’ve looked for a gift to bring You.

Nothing seemed right.

 

What’s the point of bringing gold to the gold mine,

or water to the Ocean.

Everything I came up with was like taking spices to the Orient.

 

It’s no good giving my heart and my soul

because you already have these.

 

So – I’ve brought you a mirror.

 

Look at yourself and remember me.”

–  Jalaluddin Rumi, Essential Rumi, Coleman Barks, pg141

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What is your pain telling you?

 

Fire - Olivia Henry

 

“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.”

– Rumi

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Photo credit – Olivia Henry