Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: saying no

Say yes to yourself!

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“You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.”

– unknown.


Say yes to yourself. The greatest gift that you can give to yourself and to others is your happiness, is honoring the magnificent creation of life that you are, is genuinely appreciating and loving yourself (this is different from arrogance or vanity which are always from a place of fear as Louise Hay says), is supporting and nurturing yourself, is doing what gives you relief, is doing what makes your heart sing, is doing what puts a spring in your step, is doing what gives you joy and ease, is making your happiness a priority. From this place of feeling good, love and strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.

I would like to add here that only you know what you want to say no to and what you want to say yes to because only you know what feels the most easy to you or what feels the path of least resistance to you. There is no right or wrong here. The suggestion is to focus on what gives you relief, what soothes you, what make you feel better.

Sharing a beautiful Abraham Hicks video. It lends further clarity on feeling good. The video short (4 minutes), simple and profound.


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Love and nurture yourself


“Stop saying yes to everything and everyone. Stop agreeing with people just so you don’t upset them. You’re not a pushover. You were not put on this Earth to be stressed and miserable so others can be relaxed and happy. Start protecting your time and your happiness. If others can’t handle it, show them the door.”

– Isaiah Hankel

Photo credit – Brooke Cagle via

Learning to say no is deeply empowering

woman- Demeter Attila-

Learning to say no can be very difficult at first because people around you that have been interacting with you have become used to you saying yes. And when you first say no, they get angry. You can expect that reaction. Anybody who is learning to say no has to put up with anger for a while. The first time you say no is the hardest. When you learn to say no, it is very important that you do not make excuses, because the minute you do so, they have got you. The other person can always talk you out of your excuse. Just say a simple no. “No, I can’t do that” “No anymore” “No, I don’t do that anymore”. Any short statement that sends a definite “no” message will do the trick. The other person will obviously get angry, and then you have to know that their anger has nothing to do with you. It has to do with them. Just remember to say to yourself: WHEN I SAY NO TO YOU, I AM SAYING YES TO ME. Repeat this powerful affirmation to yourself, and it will make you feel good. By the time you have said no three times to the other person, he or she will stop asking you, realizing that you have become a different person. You are coming from a different place inside.

It can be very difficult for people-pleasers to say the first no. I remember that I was sweating the first time I stood up for myself. I thought my world would end and that I would lose out. My world did not end; it changed, and I had more self respect. So, realize that this is just a process that you are going to have to go through. Other people get angry because you are not giving, or over giving, and they might even call you selfish. But what they are really saying is that you are not doing what they want you to do. That’s all it means. Remember that when you say no to them, you are saying yes to yourself. You are dissolving your internal resentment at the same time.

– Louise Hay (Empowering women)


Photo credit – Demeter Attila via

Say no!

Just say no

‘Life is not fair’

‘Why should you have what you want? Do you think you are special?’

‘Life sucks’

‘You need to be open to criticism’

‘You need to face reality. Don’t think that you are too good because you are not.” etc…..

Many of us have heard one or some or all or similar to the above statements as we have grown up. Whenever someone hears a statement like the ones above, he feels negative emotion. That negative emotion is evidence that the statement does not resonate with his inner core . Whenever someone praises us, we feel good and we thrive. That positive emotion is evidence that we agree with the praise, that the praise resonates with our inner core or in other words, we know deep within that we are pure positive energy and when we hear words which point to the essence of who we are, we feel good. That positive emotion is the evidence that we have heard something that we feel resonance with, that we know the “truth” of.

This quote from Abraham below is like a breath of fresh air for someone who has heard statements like the one above.


When your employer or your teacher or your mother or some mentor says to you, “Just deal with it. Just buck up.”

Say: “No!”

“I’m not going to put up with it. I’m not going to put up with my not-feeling-good. I’m not going to tolerate it anymore. I’m not going to acquiesce to less than I have become.”


You can either change the situation which you do not like or you can change the way you look at the situation in order to feel better but if you do neither and keep feeling negative (irritation/frustration/over whelmed/ anger/ hatred/ despair/powerless etc), not only will you keep feeling what you don’t want to feel but you will also walk towards more to feel what you are predominantly and consistently feeling i.e. negative.

The question is would you want that? Don’t you like to feel good? Don’t you like it when you feel love, appreciation, worthy, joy and free? Everything you want is because you believe that you will feel good in having if it. It’s all about you feeling good. You can focus in a way which makes you feel better when you are feeling some negative emotion and when you feel better, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more to feel even more better. You do have the ability to focus the way you want to. You can change your life experiences if you would want to. You are powerful. The same energy which creates worlds flows through you. You are that energy!


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Love yourself into the power that is you

“Some people are truly great manipulators. They can lie, cheat, treat you badly and somehow manage to make it all seem like your fault.

Don’t fall for it, that is just what they do.”

– Higher perspective’s Facebook page

Cactus - Shane Colella


And if you do fall for it, it’s okay. You are human. Be easy on yourself. If you keep falling for it all the time, you may want to ask yourself “how much do I love myself?”

Love yourself so that you find the strength to walk away (temporarily or permanently) from relationships which you do not like in order to feel better. If you feel that you cannot walk away, then loving yourself will help you in redirecting or refocusing your thoughts in such a way which provide relief to you. As you think thoughts which make it easy for you to feel relief predominantly and consistently, you will allow the law of attraction to match you up with people who make you feel even better and those in your lives who are not a match to your new and improved vibration on this topic will either change (to become a match) or leave your life (if they cannot change). If you are ready, you may want to give loving yourself a shot. It’s what Louise Hay calls a “miracle cure”.


Photo credit – Shane Colella via

Caring about ourselves


“When we’re tired, learning to sit with the discomfort of saying no to something we really would love to do, is an advanced form of self-care.”

– Cheryl Richardson


Photo credit – Sander Smeekes via

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