“I think the biggest disease the world suffers from in this day and age is the disease of people feeling unloved.”
– Diana, Princess of Wales
As I see it, feeling unloved also encompasses the feeling of not being understood, of not being acknowledged and appreciated, the feeling of not being cherished, the feeling of not being accepted for who one is…..There are many people in this world who are feeling unloved and want to feel acknowledged, loved, cherished and appreciated. This post is long as I feel that this topic is of value to so many of us who are asking for what we want and feel ready for what we have been asking for.
Even though it may seem as digressing from the above quote but here, it will be of value to take a moment to see at how Abraham-Hicks look at the word “disease” – a lack of ease. Looking at disease in this way (i.e. as lack of ease) can be soothing and provide clarity, thereby leading to a place where one is feeling hopeful and eventually, empowered. To take this a little further, now even science has proved the mind-body connection, something which healers across the centuries have known.
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Coming back to the above quote –
I believe that we are uplifters and it feel great to uplift others. When others express their love for us, it makes us feel that we have uplifted them with our presence, our being, with who we are. This feels good to us but if we are dependent on other people’s reaction in order to feel good, then when they do not love us (which can happen…even people who love us can’t feel love for us all the time and I understand and respect that….we are all human), we feel negative emotion as we desire their love (we like the feeling in us when they are uplifted because of us and express it with the appreciation and love they feel for us as they are uplifted) and we observe the absence of what we desire (i.e. the absence of their love for us in that moment). Even though negative emotion has value, it is painful.
Expecting love and appreciation from people who don’t love you is like asking for a loan from people who do not have any money. When they start loving themselves, when they are feeling good (even before they met you that day), when they are in a place of happiness and strength mostly, no matter what, they will find it easier to love you and others. You can see that in yourself too. When you are feeling good, you want to express love and appreciation, you want to smile, you want to compliment. When you are feeling negative emotion, expressing love and appreciation is not something which is the first thing on your mind or something that comes readily to you. It’s the same with most of the other people too.
Instead of looking at others to love you, if you could feel good about yourself where you are, if you could be easy with yourself, if you could be gentle with yourself, if you could take out time to nurture and support yourself, if you could focus on thoughts which make it easy for you to feel relief, if you could take out time to do what makes your heart sing, if you could like yourself, if you could love yourself – firstly, you will feel the love you want and secondly, you will allow the law of attraction to match you with more and more people who also love you, with more and more experiences which make it easy for you to see how loved you are. You will reconnect to your freedom….true freedom.
“Give yourself the love you seek and the universe will send people who match it.”
– Abraham-Hicks
When you start loving yourself, either the people in your life, who as of now do not love you the way you want them to will change to be a match to your new and improved vibrations. If they cannot change, (despite you practicing your new and improved vibrations every day throughout the day) which does happen in many cases as some people are too far away from feeling alignment within themselves as of now (and it is okay…we all have our own beautiful, individual journeys and we get to choose, either consciously or unconsciously the pace and the details of our journey), they will leave your experience and others will take their place who are a match to your new and improved vibrations. If they cannot leave and do not change, they will only meet you on days and in moments that they are a match to your vibrations (and there will be such moments however few). Even if you stay in the same house, you will zig-zag out of each others experience and rendezvous only when you are a match (provided you have been practicing your new and improved vibrations and are “stable” there, predominantly and consistently). If you want to have more people in your life who love you, you may like to consider loving yourself first, nurturing yourself, being kind to yourself.
Louise Hay spoke about loving ourselves in a beautiful way. She said that loving ourselves is not vanity or arrogance. That is always fear. Loving ourselves is really respecting and appreciating this incredible magnificent being that we are.
Some questions can arise here – how does loving ourselves play out, what does it look like, how can we go about it? The suggestion would be that firstly, start with appreciating, predominantly and consistently, the topics which are easy for you to appreciate. Also, distract yourself from topics which make it easy for you to feel negative emotions by focusing on something which is easy for you to feel good about. Distraction has huge power. It may be an effort initially but it does get easier as you go along practicing your good feeling thoughts. It’s like learning a new skill or a new computer program. Initially, it can be an effort but as one goes along, it gets easier. The easier it gets, the easier it gets.
As you do so throughout the day, every day, chances are high that you will reach a place where you are feeling better and stronger, predominantly and consistently and therefore, can with relative ease turn your loving gaze toward yourself and find things easily to love and appreciate within you. You may like to introduce changes in you and your life but changes introduced from a place of love are more easy, effective and powerful than from a place of criticism. The time taken to reach this place of love and strength will differ from person to person (which is absolutely okay…I understand and respect that) as we all have our own unique, individual, beautiful journeys. I would also suggest to be kind and gentle with yourself while on this journey – if ever you find yourself wallowing in negative emotion (you may be right in feeling the negative emotion but you are not happy and happy is what you want to be), that is okay. You are human. As you become aware that you have been thinking negative emotion and want to change those negative feeling thoughts to positive feeling thoughts, you can distract yourself to any topic which is easy for you to feel relief about whenever you feel ready to do so.
Though at this place of love and strength, chances are high that you may feel ready to love yourself but if you still do not feel ready, that is okay. As I wrote earlier, everyone has their own beautiful, unique journey. You can continue feeling good by focusing on topics and in ways which are easy for you to feel good about and whenever you want to and feel ready, you can look at yourself and feel love and appreciation for the divine creation of life that you are.
Why would you want to feel positive emotion whether it be with regard to yourself or with regard to any other topic? You would because that is who you are – you are pure positive energy and even though at times, you may choose to focus in a way which makes you feel negative emotion, you will always feel the call of who you are. When you feel that call and you do not go toward that positive feeling vibrational place, i.e. you do not focus in a way which makes you feel better, you feel negative emotion. Negative emotion is the indicator that you are not aligned with who you truly are. You love feeling love, you love feeling joy, you love feeling empowered, you love feeling free, you love it when you are appreciating. Anything that you want in your life – more money, a more nurturing relationship, better health, a bigger car, a better house, a great career, starting a new venture etc is because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that you are targeting because that is who you are – joy, love, appreciation, worthy, free and empowered.
A question can arise here – why do we disconnect to this love for ourselves? Have you seen babies? They love themselves just the way they are. I remember seeing a video of Louise Hay in which she spoke about how babies never criticize their body. She asks, “have you ever seen a baby say “my hips are too big”? 🙂 ….She further goes on to say – “babies are just thrilled and delighted that they have a body. They rejoice in it. They love themselves. They love their toes. They love everything about themselves.”
As we are growing up, we experience being judged which for the first few times, feels shocking. Have you ever seen children express their disapproval when being criticized? They know in their core (to which they are still connected) that they are pure positive energy and when someone is telling them something else apart from this, they know it just does not feel good. It takes a lot of convincing to separate most of us, as are growing up, from that “knowing”. Some of us manage to hold on to that “knowing” and most of those who hold on to this knowing are called as stubborn by others 🙂 . Who others? Others who are not feeling good mostly because if they were, they would find it easier to love and appreciate. This is not to blame the others around us as we were growing up. They were doing the best they could from their knowledge and understanding. It’s important to understand where they were in order to soothe ourselves if we are ready to be soothed. Understanding them is not to justify what they said and/or did but it helps in soothing ourselves. Soothing yourself is part of loving yourself.
The good news is that now as adults we can feel what we want to feel (even when we are not where we want to be…i.e. there is a gap between our desire and where we are currently). We can feel positive emotion, no matter what. We can do so by the power of our focus. We have much more ability to feel good than what we at times give ourselves credit for. Yes, it does take practice. Baby steps every day throughout the day is all it takes. Feeling good is not like a college degree that once we have it, it’s ours forever. It is a moment to moment choice through the day, every day. Even for people who feel ecstasy on a regular basis, there is more.
When we show ourselves that we can feel what we want to feel (even though we do not yet have what we want….whether it be the feeling love for ourselves or a physical manifestation), we reconnect to our freedom. True Freedom is freedom from negative thoughts. When we reconnect to our freedom and practice our connection/alignment to who we truly are every day throughout the day, firstly, we feel good more often and secondly, we also allow the law of attraction to match us up with all that we want “easily” and “in its full potential.” You start living as the creator you intended to be – creator of the kind of life experiences that you want, predominantly and consistently.
Even if you can feel better (from wherever you are) 55% of the time, you would have managed to allow a substantial change to your vibrations and hence of what comes to you in your life. It could be that from where you are, feeling enthusiasm (on a particular topic or many topics which are important to you) may be too much of an expectation as you may not feel ready for it and that is okay. You are human. Instead of trying to jump so far, you could take baby steps to a little more relief every day and as you do that, you get ready to be ready to be ready for what you want to easily manifest in all it’s glory in your physical reality. As you continue to feel a little more relief every day (in a way in which it is easy for you to feel relief), you start walking toward feeling more and more positive emotions – from relief to more relief to even more relief to ease to hope to optimism to positive expectation to happiness and further on to passion, joy, feeling free, empowered and worthy, predominantly and consistently. This is an awesome place to be living life from.
Feeling good is worth a shot 🙂
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