Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: stress (Page 1 of 6)

Loving yourself

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“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either.” – Mandy Hale


The above words could sound a little harsh but they do point to something of tremendous value – the importance of loving yourself.

Instead of looking at others to love you (who may or may not have the ability to offer love and appreciation for you at that point), you can always choose to focus your own loving gaze on yourself 🙂 …..and when you do so predominantly and consistently, you allow the law of attraction to match you up more and more with people who also appreciate you just the way you do and if you do meet someone who does not, it would not matter to you (as much as it may have before you initiated loving yourself everyday) as you, in any case, have reconnected to that genuine love and appreciation for yourself (even before meeting that person). From this place of love and strength, it’s easier to feel good, no matter what and even when you are not in this place of love, chances are high that because of the place of love and strength you are in predominantly and consistently, you will be able to be kind to yourself and be able to easily and gently guide and soothe yourself back, when ready, to the place of feeling good again. You will be living more and more moments on an everyday basis where you are feeling joy, love, appreciation, worthy and free…. – a beautiful place to be in.

Loving yourself may seem like an effort initially but as you go along, it gets easier. It’s like learning a new skill. Yes, it does require every day practice esp. initially. In the initial days, sometimes it may be easy and sometimes, it may not and that is okay. When a baby learns to walk, it does not start running the very first time. Learning to love yourself again is like that. The suggestion is to be kind and gentle with yourself while on this beautiful journey. Knowing that it’s an eternal journey helps in feeling ease more often.

Many times, one may find that unconditional happiness is an easier place to start feeling than unconditional love and that is also okay. In fact, first practicing unconditional happiness and then when ready, as per your beautiful and unique path of least resistance including unconditional love in your daily practice has higher chances of making the process easier.

Louise Hay has said that loving yourself is not vanity or arrogance as that is always from a place of fear….loving yourself means genuinely appreciation the unique and beautiful expression of life that you are. The universe is expressing itself through you. Sharing a quote by Rumi – “Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion”. Carl Sagan has written in his book, Cosmos – ““The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” You are part of this boundaryless, ever-expanding universe. You are so much more than what you can see with your eyes. You are magnificent, just like the universe of which you are a part, a beautiful and unique part.

When you nurture, love and support yourself, when you honor the magnificent creation of life that you are, when you do what makes your heart sing, when you think thoughts that give you relief and help you feel better – in other words, when you practice unconditional happiness and unconditional love, you reconnect to your freedom and to your power. From this place of love and strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.

At the end, sharing a simple, deep, profound and empowering quote by Abraham-Hicks –

“The greatest thing you can give yourself is freedom from what others think.”

The power of now

 

“Your life is right now! It’s not later! It’s not in that time of retirement. It’s not when the lover gets here. It’s not when you’ve moved into the new house. It’s not when you get the better job. Your life is right now. It will always be right now. You might as well decide to start enjoying your life right now, because it’s not ever going to get better than right now-until it gets better right now!”

-Abraham Hicks

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When you say that I am going to be happy only when the kind of lover I want comes or only when I retire or only when I get what I desire, can you see how much you are curtailing/disallowing the joyful moments in your life? If you can find a way to be easy, to be kinder to yourself, to allow moments on a daily basis where you are feeling better, can you imagine how much more joy would be there in your journey? And one of the wonderful things about this (ie feeling good even though what you want hasn’t manifested yet) is that you allow the law of attraction to match you up with what you want “easily” and “in its full potential”. Feeling good in the “now” has tremendous value 🙂

You may want to have these as your everyday, predominant and consistent thoughts – I am going to be easy with myself. Whenever I am not being not being easy with myself and I become aware of what I am doing, I will try and remind myself that it’s okay, I am human….just like the ocean, I have ebb and flow too. In moments like this, I will gently guide myself through my path of least resistance to what is easy for me to feel good about, to topics I find easy to appreciate, to thoughts that make me feel better. I am going to be more kinder and gentler with myself. I am going to be nicer to myself. I am going to have way more fun. I am going to love myself much more everyday 🙂

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You are magnificent

 

“Don’t you know yet? It is your light that lights the world.”

– Rumi
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Yes, it does happen that in a moment when we choose to focus in a way that makes it easy for us to feel negative emotion, we have chosen to separate ourselves from who we truly are (the good news being that whenever we want to and feel ready to, we can reconnect back to who we are…and this place of readiness can be different for different people as we all have our own, beautiful, individual and unique journeys) but this decision/choice to separate ourselves from who we truly are in a particular moment in no way takes away from who we truly are i.e. pure positive energy. Our essence, our being, our core is ever-expanding, infinite, eternal, pure positive energy and that is why we love feeling positive emotions.

Negative emotion has value (as it helps us give birth to desires and/or amend our desires) but it is our positive-feeling moments that we love feeling – love, appreciation, worthy, free, empowered, joy, optimism, hope, passion, eager, happiness and other positive emotions. Whatever it is that we want – a more nurturing relationship, health, money, a promotion at work, starting a new venture, buying a new house, a bigger car etc. – we believe that we will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that we are targeting – the positive emotion because that is our essence and we love moments in which we are aligned with who we are, in which we are feeling our essence.

Whenever we choose to separate ourselves from who we truly are and we choose not to reconnect, we don’t like that separation (even in situations where we may like it initially like anger as compared to despair feels more powerful but if you get stuck in anger, you don’t like it after sometime) as we feel the call of our core, our being, our essence as we are not in alignment as of that point. Whenever we feel ready to, we can always pivot in ways which are easy for us (our unique and beautiful path of least resistance) to focus on positive feeling thoughts, on thoughts which give us relief, on thoughts which make us smile, on thoughts which make us feel better from where we are. As we practice our good-feeling place/vibrations/thoughts every day throughout the day, in this place of positive emotions, we are either in alignment or in the vicinity of that alignment with who we truly are, predominantly and consistently. This vibrational place of alignment is what we love as in that alignment, we are home. From this place of strength, we are of so much more value to ourselves and to anyone else that we would like to be of value to.

“You are magnificent. Please know this.”

– Anita Moorjani

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Feeling relief when in fear

What fear is …..is a feeling I have when I am holding a desire in my conscious attention and a belief that contradicts it in the same moment.

– Abraham-Hicks
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Examples of the above – desiring financial prosperity and believing that it will be difficult for you to get it or desiring a recovery from a particular illness and having a belief that the recovery you desire is rare and difficult. Basically, fear is the negative emotion (or one of the negative emotions) that you feel when you think the thought – “I can’t have what I want.”

The good news is that if you want and if you feel ready to, you can change your beliefs in order to align them with your desires as per your path of least resistance 🙂

You do that by soothing yourself thought by thought, moment by moment, as per your own beautiful, unique and individual pace whenever you feel ready to do so. Initially distracting yourself to topics which are easy for you to appreciate helps in feeling relief more often and then from this place of relief and strength, if one wants and feels ready to, one can soothe oneself on the topic one feels fear on.

Of course, pre-paving on a daily basis helps in not only reducing the frequency of life experiences which have the potential for you to choose fear but it also reduces the intensity of the fear that you feel when in them and hence helps in your regaining your balance easily as compared to before you started pre-paving. Pre-paving means allowing more feel-good moments (i.e. moments in which you are feeling relief, moments in which you are feeling good, moments in which you have a spring in your step, moments in which you have a song in your heart, moments in which you are relaxed, positive emotion feeling moments…) and as you do so predominantly and consistently, you develop vibrational muscles, you develop sea legs, you develop good shock absorbers in life. The action you feel inspired to from this place of strength is so much more than from a place of lack. This is not the only way to react to fear but it is an easy and effective way.

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“When you fear anything, don’t take the next step or do something you’re afraid to do. There are a lot of people that will say: “Oh just push through it, and when you push through it, then you’ll get over being afraid of it.”

And we encourage you to do instead is to come into alignment with what you want first by finding the thoughts that feel good, because fear is there for a reason.

The fear is saying: “there’s resistance within you, that is going to attract some of what you want and some of what you don’t want.

Why not clean it up before you take action?

-Abraham-Hicks

 

Bless you fear, thank you for pointing out that I just blocked something that I want, with a bogus habit of thought, that doesn’t apply and has no relevance to where I am now and where I’m going. THAT’S the nugget we’ve been reaching for, that’s the taking thought beyond which it has been before, that’s why we want you to make peace with your negative emotion, that’s why we want you to understand what it is, that’s why we want you to stop standing in a place being mad at yourself or someone else, feeling negative emotion.

Bless you fear. You’re reminding me that I’ve got some vibrational work to do. You’re not here to remind me that I can’t have what I want, you’re just here to remind me that I’m not ready for what I want yet.

Thank you negative emotion for reminding me of amplifying the thought, that there is something that I keenly want, to which I’m not in the vibrational vicinity of, but I have the ability to close that Gap with a little bit of effort.”

– Abraham-Hicks

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The wound has value

 

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”

– Rumi
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It does not have to be this way but for most people who allow themselves to reconnect in their own, beautiful, unique and individual way with who they are, with the light that is within as well as surrounding them at all times, the clear desire to heal the wound, the strong desire for well-being, the sharp desire for feeling free and happy is the reason to start allowing the reconnection. The wound helps in making this desire clearer, stronger and sharper as compared to before the wound. When one has a strong desire and allows it in one’s physical reality by being a match to it vibrationally, one starts living life empowered and free.

This is the value of the wound. It can help in choosing to allow unconditional happiness more often and when one allows and practices unconditional happiness every day throughout the day, one allows the feeling of empowerment, freedom, worthiness, joy, love and appreciation, predominantly and consistently. We are pure positive energy and we love the moments in which we are feeling the essence of who we are, moments where we are “in the flow” or what athletes call – “being in the zone”. Composers, authors, artists, inventors etc. have long realized that if they are not in the flow, nothing flows.

The wound may be painful but it does have value in helping us grow beyond where we were into a place of true freedom – i.e. freedom from needing conditions to be met before we can be happy. Yes, it is a practice and that is the work for all of us on a daily basis – choosing a better feeling thought on a moment to moment, thought to thought basis (on the topic of the wound, if we feel ready to or by distracting ourselves to any other topic which is easy for us to appreciate in that moment) as per our own beautiful and unique pace, our individual path of least resistance. The journey is eternal.

One of the awesome results of this unconditional happiness is that we allow the law of attraction to match us up with more to be even more happy about as we are already in the same or similar vibration/feeling predominantly and consistently (not always but predominantly and consistently). Even if one can feel positive emotions 55% of the time every day, one would have managed to allow a substantial change in one’s predominant and consistent vibrations and hence of what one allows to manifest in one’s life. The better it gets, the better it gets.

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Letting go of the struggle

“The less you try to get others to understand your point of view, the clearer your vibration will be and the better you will feel because you’re really asking them to do something that they’re not wired to do.”

– Abraham-Hicks
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It feels nice when others understand you the way you want to be understood but if your happiness depends on other people and their understanding you, you are setting yourself up for frustration. Even the ones who love you and understand you can’t understand you all the time in the way you want to be understood. You may like to consider being happy, no matter what because if you are waiting for the condition to be satisfied (i.e. the condition of their getting you, their understanding you) before you allow yourself to feel positive emotions, you may have a journey which has more struggle than ease. Nothing wrong with that as negative emotion also has value (it helps you give birth to desires and amend earlier desires) but when you can have a journey which is both easy and effective predominantly and consistently, you could consider letting go of the struggle around the topic of other people understanding you.

You don’t let go of your desire to be understood but when you let go of the negative thoughts around this topic, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with people who are more understanding and accepting of others, people who are predominantly and consistently in a place of love and compassion (they are able to extend their understanding and compassion even to those whose actions may not seem justified to them). It’s so interesting that when you decide to not care (not in defiance or any other negative emotion but from a place of having made peace with this topic) and thereby, feel the relief that comes with it, you allow more experiences which make you feel even more of the relief/ ease/ good-feeling place that you are in. You allow more of the people who are a match to your new thoughts/vibrations/feelings on this topic – i.e. who make it easy for you to choose feeling ease. You start allowing the desire (of the kind of life experiences that you want) that life helped inspire within you. As you practice allowing better feeling thoughts, you allow your desire to manifest easily and in its full glory. The easier it gets, the easier it gets.

In all this practice (as per your individual and beautiful pace), if you do meet someone who is not accepting or does not understand you, chances of you choosing a knee-jerk reaction are less as you are practicing your feel-good (or feel better) muscle every day. As you practice predominantly and consistently, due the place of well-being, ease and strength that you are already in (before meeting someone who does not accept or understand you), chances are also high that even if you do choose to have knee-jerk reaction (you are human and it’s of value to be kind and gentle with yourself), you will be able to reconnect to your alignment easily as compared to before you started consciously, predominantly and consistently practicing better feeling thoughts about this topic. You will have better shock absorbers in life.

When you leave others out of the equation (i.e. irrelevant to your focusing on better feeling thoughts), you reconnect to your freedom, to empowerment, to joy, to unconditional alignment. From this place of strength, you are of tremendous value to yourself and to those that you would like to be of value to. At the end of the day, it is a choice – even when it seems that we have no choice (this thought is also something that you choose, either by default or consciously). There is no right or wrong in this. Even though others can agree or disagree with whatever choice you make, it is your own, beautiful, unique and individual journey.

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The most important relationship you have is with yourself

“If you do not love yourself totally, wholly, and fully, somewhere along the way you learned not to. You can unlearn it. Start being kind to yourself now.”

– Louise Hay

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Babies love themselves just the way they are. Have you ever heard a baby say or rather look like they are feeling – “I don’t like my hands” or “I wish my body was different”? 🙂 . They are just so happy to be here in this life. They have this awe for themselves, for everything that they discover around them, for life. You were also like that. Some of us have managed to retain the connection to this place of love for ourselves, predominantly and consistently. Many of such people (i.e. who managed to remain connected to this place of love for themselves, no matter what) have been accused of being “stubborn” (and stubborn here being considered a negative trait or quality by those accusing) by those that did not understand how they could not look at themselves in the way the world looked at them (or a trait in them) from its place of disconnection. This is not to blame those around who saw others from a place of disconnection. They were doing the best according to their knowing and understanding. Understanding where they were coming from is important not to be kind and gentle with them (though if you want to be, that is great but typically, it does not come in one fell swoop for most people and that is okay, we are human.) but to be kind and gentle with ourselves. Understanding those who were disconnected themselves (and hence could not feel appreciation and love for others, predominantly and consistently) can lead to feeling relief and that is a place that we would want to be in – a place of feeling better.

Those of us who have lost that connection can reconnect whenever we want to and feel ready to. All it takes is a desire and depending on your readiness, you allow more and more feel-good moments on a daily basis about things which are easy for you to appreciate. When you are predominantly and consistently in this place of feeling positive emotions (or in the vicinity of them) in ways that are easy for you, chances are that you will be able to look at yourself and say – “hmm, not bad” or “there are things that I like in myself”….as you practice this good-feeling place, chances are high that (again depending on your readiness which is different for different people as we all have our own, unique, individual and beautiful journeys which I totally respect) you will reach a place where you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be able to, with ease and love in your heart, say “I love you” or “I love myself” or “I am so happy to be me” or “I am thrilled to be me”. As you start “feeling” these words towards yourself, initially you may find yourself having tears in your eyes. The tears here are an indicator that the process of reconnection is getting stronger as the layers of resistance/struggle/negative thoughts are being allowed to be shed by you, as per your unique and beautiful pace.

Loving yourself is not arrogance of vanity (Louise Hay said that these are from a place of fear and not love). Loving ourselves is acknowledging and appreciating the magnificent creation of life that we are. Living life from this place of love, appreciation and strength predominantly and consistently not only makes our journey easier but it also allows the law of attraction to match us with so much more which is easy to appreciate. We start living as the leading-edge creators we intended to be when we decided to come in this time-space-reality which is a great place to be in but at the same time, I would suggest don’t do it for being the leading-edge creator that you want to be, love yourself for the joy it brings to your heart, for the sense of freedom, worthiness and empowerment that it reconnects you to. Love yourself because it feels so good. Everything else that you want will be allowed more easily and in its full potential by you in your life from this place of love as that is law (the law of attraction) but my suggestion is to love yourself just for the feeling of it. Feel good because it feels so good to feel good 🙂

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You always gain

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“That’s what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we’ve changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning.”

– Richard Bach
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Even though pain may not feel good but it has value. When in a place of pain/negative emotion, you become more clear about what you “do not want” which further leads you to clarity about what you “do want”. For example, when you see poverty, you desire prosperity; when you see sickness, you desire health; when you meet a person who is rude to you, you desire to meet kind people. As you allow the desires which you have given birth to or amended because of the pain you felt, you reconnect to your power. Negative emotion may be painful but it has value as it is connected to your expanding and growing beyond what you had been before you felt that negative emotion.

As you practice allowing all the desires that life has helped in inspiring within you, you start to see the value of pain/negative emotion and even though you may still not like negative emotion, you don’t react to it with the same intensity as you may have done earlier. As you start to feel see the big picture and therefore, the value of negative emotion, you develop good shock absorbers in life. You start to feel ease with it all – positive and negative emotion or as some of us would call it, winning and losing. It’s all part of the dance, all part of the process of creation – creation of our lives.

As you feel ease, you further lessen the intensity of the negative emotions that you are feeling. As you do so more often, you increase moments in which you feel relief/ better and as you do that, you start to tilt the balance towards positive feeling emotions (either with regard to one or more than one topic in life or with regard to life in general). As you do so predominantly and consistently, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more positive feeling experiences. The law of attraction states – “like attracts like”. When you are feeling positive emotions predominantly and consistently, you allow the law of attraction to match you up with experiences which make you feel the same (or in the vicinity of positive emotions) on a more predominant and consistent basis. You start “allowing” your desires to manifest in your physical reality.

Even though negative emotion has value, you may want to reduce it and increase the positive feeling moments in life as the latter is what you love – anything that you want in life (whether it is a more nurturing relationship, money, health, starting a new business, a promotion, a bigger car, a better house etc.) is because you believe that you will feel better in the having of it. It is that feeling that you are targeting. You love positive emotions because that is your essence. You are pure positive energy. As you show yourself your ability to feel good predominantly and consistently (even if what you want hasn’t yet manifested in your life in the way you want it to) through the power of your focus (your thoughts), you allow the law of attraction to match you up with all that you desire easily and in its full potential as you are a vibrational match to your desires in the feel-good moments. The negative feeling moments help in giving birth to new desires or amending the previous desires. The positive feeling moments help in allowing the desires to manifest in your life “easily” and “in their full glory”.

One of the best things about all this is that we have the freedom to choose how we look at any situation. As Abraham-Hicks say, “you are so free, you can choose bondage”. Yes, sometimes, the choice is deliberate/conscious and sometimes it is by default/unconscious but it is a choice nonetheless.

Connected to the above, I want to share another quote by Abraham-Hicks – “You can’t get it wrong and you will never get it done”. As you never get it done, you can’t get it wrong. It’s an eternal journey. We all have our own beautiful, unique, individual journeys and knowing this helps in further feeling ease whenever one feels ready to feel it regarding a topic/situation that one finds painful and this place of feeling ready would be different for each one of us as no two journeys are the same. Knowing this helps is treasuring one’s journey in all its entirety – positive feeling moments as well as the negative feeling moments.

This may not be the only way to live but it is easy and is effective. Being kind and gentle with ourselves by seeing the value in both – in positive emotion as well as in negative emotion makes the journey easy and that ease helps in reconnecting to the power within, in all its glory.

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Letting go of the struggle allows relief

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“I stopped trying to explain myself to those who cannot hear my explanation. That’s big.”

– Abraham-Hicks
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These words are simple, profound and so freeing. Letting go of the struggle can allow the relief one wants to feel. From this place of relief, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.

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Deliberately allowing feel-good moments has value

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“Satisfying relationships don’t bring alignment. Alignment brings satisfying relationships.

Do you see what must come first?”

– Abraham-Hicks

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You are not happy because you are living a good life. You are living a good life because you are happy. You allow your desires to manifest “easily” and “in their full potential” when you start reconnecting to your ability to feel relief, to feel better, to feel good, no matter what.

As you practice unconditional alignment/joy/feeling positive emotions predominantly and consistently, you reconnect to your freedom and power. Even for people who feel ecstasy on a rather regular basis, allowing feel-good moments is a practice. The good news is that as you practice, it does get easier. In this place of strength, you mostly feel emotions that you like (i.e. positive feeling emotions) and you allow the law of attraction to match you up with more positive feeling moments as the law of attraction states – “like attracts like” – what you are feeling attracts more to feel the same. The better it gets, the better it gets.

The law of attraction does not state that you feel positive all the time (negative emotions can be painful but they do have value as they are part of our inner guidance). Even if you can feel positive emotions 55% of the time on a daily basis, you would have made a substantial difference to your predominant and consistent vibrations/ feelings and hence to the kind of life experiences that manifest in your physical reality. We have the ability to feel the emotions that we want to feel much more than we give ourselves credit for.

Initially, it may require effort but it’s like learning a new software program or a new skill – initially it requires effort and as one goes along, it gets easier and easier. What helps us in this practice is knowing that we love feeling positive emotions. Anything that anyone wants – more money, starting a new venture, a promotion at work, a more loving relationship, bigger car, better house, health etc. is all because one believes that one will better in the having of it. It is that positive feeling that we are targeting because we love positive emotions. We love them because that is who we are – pure positive energy and we always feel the call of who we are when we choose to separate ourselves from it and we feel good when we reconnect to it.

Practicing the art of allowing positive emotions on a daily basis does have value.

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