“You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employee, children friend, or a new acquaintance – you don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if the person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.”
– Daniell Keopke
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Photo credit – Burak Kostak via pexels.com
“We are really advocates of just getting as happy as you can be — which takes care of everything.
Even if you don’t have reason to be happy — make it up. Fantasize it.
Make a decision that you’re going to be happy one way or another — no matter what.
No matter what, I’m going to be happy! If I have to ignore everybody;
if I have to never watch television again;
if I have to never pick up a newspaper again, I’m going to be happy.
If I never have to see that person’s face again, I’m going to be happy.
If I have to see that person’s face, I’m going to find something to see in that person’s face that makes me happy.
I’m going to be happy.
I’m going to be happy.
I’m going to be happy.”
– Abraham Hicks
(the above words by Abraham have been shared from the blog joypassiondesire)
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Off course, the “inner work” is to reach a point wherein no matter what your physical reality is, you feel happy but if you are not able to feel happy while in your current physical reality, then are you supposed to tolerate your negative emotions till you wither away?
No! You can get some distance between that which pains you and you. In that time and space that you get, you can sharpen your focus till the time you are able to focus on any topic (even if it was painful to you earlier) and find something in it to feel better about it (it can be but need not be enthusiastically happy…. just feeling better is awesome too while on your path to feeling good about it) i.e. you achieve stability in your good feeling thoughts. As you do that, you reconnect to your invincibility, to your freedom. The power which creates worlds flows through you. In fact, it is you.
Yes, sometimes, because of the way we are focused on a situation, we cannot feel positive emotion. There is nothing wrong in it. We are human and we need to be easy on ourselves. Negative emotion always tells us that we have grown but have not gone ahead with our growth. Whenever we feel upto it, we can change the way we are focused on it and thereby taste true freedom – i.e. free to feel whatever emotion we want to feel irrespective of what is happening around us. Sometimes, choosing to distance oneself from what is painful helps in reaching this place of strength and therefore, is the path of least resistance (it need not be but sometimes, it is and only you know that by the way you feel about it). From this place of strength, we are of value to ourselves and to anyone else we may want to be of value to.
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“The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself.”
– Rita Mae Brown, Venus Envy
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Photo credit – Alondra Olives via unsplash.com
“Your life is precious. Don’t squander it by trying to be what others expect of you. Don’t give up on your own happiness to make others happy.
Remarkably, if you follow your bliss, you’ll bring happiness to many more people than you ever could’ve possible done by self-sacrifice.”
– Denise Linn
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Photo credit – Neill Kumar via unsplash.com
“Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize our own.”
– unknown
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What you feel is the only thing that matters in your life. What others feel is irrelevant. What you felt and what you feel is what matters.
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“If everything you do must be measured against the opinion of everyone else, what happens to your opinion of yourself?”
– Dr. Wayne Dyer
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Photo credit – Chris Sardegna via unsplash.com
“If someone treats you like crap, just remember there is something wrong with them, not you. Normal people don’t go around destroying other human beings.”
– unknown
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This quote resonates with me. The only thing that I would like to change is that instead of putting the word “normal”, I would have liked to insert “people connected to themselves” had they been my words. I feel that there is nothing wrong in the word “normal” but it has such a baggage around it for many people that it would feel better to me to use “people who are connected to themselves” instead of it here. I must also add that “people connected to themselves” and what is considered “normal” (which may be different in different times/ societies/ cultures etc) may not be the same but that is another topic altogether 🙂
It’s for the same reason, I usually do not like to use the word “god” because there is such a baggage many of us have around that word. I usually like to use infinite intelligence or inner self or inner being or our soul or source energy or source instead. The words used can make a difference to what one feels about a topic and what one “feels” is important.
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“When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”
― Diane Von Furstenberg
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I think this goes not just for women but for everyone else too…loving oneself, being our own best friend, nurturing oneself has value for each one of us…
“Can you imagine how wonderful it would be if you could live your life without ever being criticized by anyone? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to feel totally at ease, totally comfortable? You would get up in the morning, and you would know you were going to have a wonderful day, because everybody would love you and nobody would criticize you or put you down. You would just feel great.
You know what? You can give this to yourself. You can make the experience of living with you the most wonderful experience imaginable. You can wake up in the morning so thrilled to find yourself and feel the joy of spending another day with you.”
– Louise Hay
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Photo credit – William White via unsplash.com
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