Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: thought (Page 1 of 2)

Letting go of the struggle allows relief

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“I stopped trying to explain myself to those who cannot hear my explanation. That’s big.”

– Abraham-Hicks
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These words are simple, profound and so freeing. Letting go of the struggle can allow the relief one wants to feel. From this place of relief, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.

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Photo credit – Sean Kong via unsplash.com

 

Unconditionally loving yourself

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“Because we cannot give what we do not have, loving ourselves is absolutely necessary before we can truly love anyone else.”

– Anita Moorjani

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I have seen that when people feel a resonance with the above words, they also ask as to how can we love ourselves, what does loving ourselves look like, how does it play out? Therefore, am sharing this wonderful article by Louise Hay on how can we love ourselves –

12 Ways You Can Love Yourself Now

Learn helpful tips for self-love.

I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.

Loving yourself is a wonderful adventure; it’s like learning to fly. Imagine if we all had the power to fly at will? How exciting it would be! Let’s begin to love ourselves now.

Here are 12 Commandments to help you learn how to love yourself:

  1. Stop All Criticism.

Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

  1. Forgive Yourself.

Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.

  1. Don’t Scare Yourself.

Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

  1. Be Gentle and Kind and Patient.

Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

  1. Be Kind to Your Mind.

Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

  1. Praise Yourself.

Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

  1. Support Yourself.

Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

  1. Be Loving to Your Negatives.

Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

  1. Take Care of Your Body.

Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

  1. Do Mirror Work.

Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say, I love you, I really love you!

  1. Love Yourself . . . Do It Now.

Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now—and do the best you can.

  1. Have Fun.

Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!

Let’s affirm: I love myself just the way I am.

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If we love ourselves and therefore are happy appreciating the magnificent creation of life that we are, we find it easier to feel good and also to be of value to whoever we may want to be of value to. Loving ourselves is not the same as vanity or arrogance (that is not love, it’s always fear as Louise Hay says). Loving ourselves is genuinely appreciating the incredible beings that we are.

Joseph Campbell said – “follow your bliss” and Abraham call these words as the most profound words ever uttered. I agree. When you follow your bliss, you feel good and then it’s easier to love yourself and when you love yourself, it’s easier to follow your bliss. A never ending cycle of well-being 🙂

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Photo credit – pixabay.com via pexels.com

I’am going to be happy – no matter what

pexels-laughing child indian - Surajith S.

 

“We are really advocates of just getting as happy as you can be — which takes care of everything.

Even if you don’t have reason to be happy — make it up. Fantasize it.

Make a decision that you’re going to be happy one way or another — no matter what.

No matter what, I’m going to be happy! If I have to ignore everybody;

if I have to never watch television again;

if I have to never pick up a newspaper again, I’m going to be happy.

If I never have to see that person’s face again, I’m going to be happy.

If I have to see that person’s face, I’m going to find something to see in that person’s face that makes me happy.

I’m going to be happy.

I’m going to be happy.

I’m going to be happy.”

– Abraham Hicks

(the above words by Abraham have been shared from the blog joypassiondesire)

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Off course, the “inner work” is to reach a point wherein no matter what your physical reality is, you feel happy but if you are not able to feel happy while in your current physical reality, then are you supposed to tolerate your negative emotions till you wither away?

No! You can get some distance between that which pains you and you. In that time and space that you get, you can sharpen your focus till the time you are able to focus on any topic (even if it was painful to you earlier) and find something in it to feel better about it (it can be but need not be enthusiastically happy…. just feeling better is awesome too while on your path to feeling good about it) i.e. you achieve stability in your good feeling thoughts. As you do that, you reconnect to your invincibility, to your freedom. The power which creates worlds flows through you. In fact, it is you.

Yes, sometimes, because of the way we are focused on a situation, we cannot feel positive emotion. There is nothing wrong in it. We are human and we need to be easy on ourselves. Negative emotion always tells us that we have grown but have not gone ahead with our growth. Whenever we feel upto it, we can change the way we are focused on it and thereby taste true freedom – i.e. free to feel whatever emotion we want to feel irrespective of what is happening around us. Sometimes, choosing to distance oneself from what is painful helps in reaching this place of strength and therefore, is the path of least resistance (it need not be but sometimes, it is and only you know that by the way you feel about it). From this place of strength, we are of value to ourselves and to anyone else we may want to be of value to.

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Photo credit – Surajith S via pexels.com

Focus on your joys

Planet - Anders Jilden

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.”

– Rita Schiano

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When people ask how can they do it when all they can think of are their problems which are so in their face, I suggest – go general and focus on all the well-being around us like

  • the sun came up and it’s not on anyone’s to-do list
  • the earth is revolving in its orbit in perfect proximity to other planets
  • food is not being flown in from other planets. In other words, we are able to grow our own food
  • your heart continues to beat and you trust it will. When you take a nap, you do not tell someone to watch you lest your heart stops beating.
  • the blood in your body continues to flow on its own
  • the earth is just hanging in space and continues to do so

In other words, we are surrounded by well-being. Yes, there are painful experiences too but there is well being too and we can choose what we want to focus on. What we focus on brings us more to feel the same so we might want to be picky about what we are focusing on. When we go general and focus on the well being around us, it’s easier to feel good. When feeling better and stronger predominantly and consistently, one may want to go specific and look at the problem one is facing from a solution oriented point of view and not a problem oriented point of view. Due to the place of strength one is looking at the problem from, chances are high that one will be able to focus on the answer and not the question i.e. on the solution and not the problem. The action which one feels inspired to in this situation will now be from a place of strength and not from a place of lack and that difference in the energy is important.

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Photo credit – Anders Jilden via unsplash.com

The connection between your feelings and your body

paints - color - Luis Davila

 

Storytelling evokes a strong neurological response:-

Tense moments of a story encourage the production of the stress hormone cortisol.

Sweet moments of a story signal the release of oxytocin, which promotes empathy.

Happy endings trigger the brain’s reward system, the limbic system, which releases dopamine.

– Source – Harvard Business Review

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When you are listening to a story, you know that it is a story and not what you are living but still your body reacts emotionally and experiences physiological responses to your emotions. There are real-time changes happening inside your body because of what you are feeling. You cannot touch, smell, hear or see your thoughts but they affect you. You do “feel” your thoughts. You may want to consider the thoughts you are thinking predominantly as they are affecting the physiology of your body.

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Photo credit – Luis Davila via unsplash.com

You have a choice to either hold on or let go

 

man with sand flowing out of hand - Forrest Cavale

“You must release your desire for the approval of others, because as long as you are letting the approval of others affect you, you will always be in an out of balance situation, because they are all wanting something different from you.”

– Abraham

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Yes, it does feel good when others approve of us but if our feeling good is dependent upon the approval of others, when they do not approve, we are in trouble as now we cannot feel good till the time they approve of us and getting someone to change their thoughts when they do not want to change is frustrating and futile. Even if you succeed with one person, there are so many more in your life. Who all will you keep changing?

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Photo credit – Forrest Cavale via unsplash.com

The power of your thoughts and beliefs

man standing alone near ocean - Magnus Lindvall

“Your beliefs and thoughts are wired into your biology. They become your cells, tissues and organs. There’s no supplement, no diet, no medicine, and no exercise regimen that can compare with the power of your thoughts and beliefs.

– Dr Christiane Northrup

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Photo credit – Magnus Lindvall via unsplash.com

Letting go

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“If your environment keeps draining your energy, it’s like having a leaky bank account, where any money you’re putting into the bank, such as by seeing an energy healer, keeps slipping out. You have to change your environment, including any harmful beliefs, before the energy can stay high.”

– Dr. Bruce Lipton

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Photo credit – Jim DiGritz via unsplash.com

As a creator, being picky has value

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“You’re picky about the clothes you wear, you’re picky about the car you drive, you’re picky about the food you eat, we want you to be picky about the thoughts you think.”

– Abraham

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Focusing predominantly on what makes us feel good has value….not only does it make us feel better (which is what we like) in the first place but it also allows the law of attraction to match us up with more to feel even more better…

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Photo credit – Jeff Sheldon via unsplash.com

What is the signal you are emitting this red hot minute?

man and universe

“When you begin to understand Law of Attraction, and you understand that which is like unto itself is drawn, then it is easier and easier to understand that you are offering a signal, and the entire Universe responds. And when you finally get that, and you begin to exercise some deliberate control about the signal that you offer, then it really begins to be fun, because then you recognize that nothing happens outside of your creative control. There are no things that happen by chance or by circumstance. There is nothing that is happening because of something you vibrated a long time ago or in a past life. It is not about what you were born into. It is only about what you are, right now, in this red hot fresh moment emitting.”

– Abraham

Excerpted from: Seattle, WA on June 20, 1998

Our Love, Esther (and Abraham and Jerry)

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Photo credit – Greg Rakozy via unsplash.com

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