Life Coaching with Sonal

Empowering those who are asking for what they want, those who want to live their dreams, those who believe deep within that life is supposed to be good – and that is you.

Tag: unconditional love

Loving yourself

Photo credit – Clem Onojeghuo via unsplash.com

“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either.” – Mandy Hale


The above words could sound a little harsh but they do point to something of tremendous value – the importance of loving yourself.

Instead of looking at others to love you (who may or may not have the ability to offer love and appreciation for you at that point), you can always choose to focus your own loving gaze on yourself 🙂 …..and when you do so predominantly and consistently, you allow the law of attraction to match you up more and more with people who also appreciate you just the way you do and if you do meet someone who does not, it would not matter to you (as much as it may have before you initiated loving yourself everyday) as you, in any case, have reconnected to that genuine love and appreciation for yourself (even before meeting that person). From this place of love and strength, it’s easier to feel good, no matter what and even when you are not in this place of love, chances are high that because of the place of love and strength you are in predominantly and consistently, you will be able to be kind to yourself and be able to easily and gently guide and soothe yourself back, when ready, to the place of feeling good again. You will be living more and more moments on an everyday basis where you are feeling joy, love, appreciation, worthy and free…. – a beautiful place to be in.

Loving yourself may seem like an effort initially but as you go along, it gets easier. It’s like learning a new skill. Yes, it does require every day practice esp. initially. In the initial days, sometimes it may be easy and sometimes, it may not and that is okay. When a baby learns to walk, it does not start running the very first time. Learning to love yourself again is like that. The suggestion is to be kind and gentle with yourself while on this beautiful journey. Knowing that it’s an eternal journey helps in feeling ease more often.

Many times, one may find that unconditional happiness is an easier place to start feeling than unconditional love and that is also okay. In fact, first practicing unconditional happiness and then when ready, as per your beautiful and unique path of least resistance including unconditional love in your daily practice has higher chances of making the process easier.

Louise Hay has said that loving yourself is not vanity or arrogance as that is always from a place of fear….loving yourself means genuinely appreciation the unique and beautiful expression of life that you are. The universe is expressing itself through you. Sharing a quote by Rumi – “Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion”. Carl Sagan has written in his book, Cosmos – ““The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” You are part of this boundaryless, ever-expanding universe. You are so much more than what you can see with your eyes. You are magnificent, just like the universe of which you are a part, a beautiful and unique part.

When you nurture, love and support yourself, when you honor the magnificent creation of life that you are, when you do what makes your heart sing, when you think thoughts that give you relief and help you feel better – in other words, when you practice unconditional happiness and unconditional love, you reconnect to your freedom and to your power. From this place of love and strength, you are of so much more value to yourself and to anyone else you would want to be of value to.

At the end, sharing a simple, deep, profound and empowering quote by Abraham-Hicks –

“The greatest thing you can give yourself is freedom from what others think.”

Love is the answer

love-heart - Kaboom pics-pexel.com

“I am convinced that unconditional love is the most powerful known stimulant of the immune system. If I told patients to raise their blood levels of immune globulins or killer T cells, no one would know how. But if I can teach them to love themselves and others fully, the same changes happen automatically. The truth is: love heals.”

Bernie Siegel, M.D.

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Bernie Siegel is an American writer and retired pediatric surgeon, who writes on the relationship between the patient and the healing process. He is known for his best-selling book Love, Medicine and Miracles.

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Photo credit – Marcus Spike Raumrot.com via pexel.com

love yourself

A beautiful article by Anita Moorjani.

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flowers

My Most Meaningful Lesson: Love yourself before all the rest.

We cannot give others what we ourselves do not have.

“How could I have said something so stupid??”

“That was so dumb of me!! I should have known better!”

“I will never get it right! Why am I even bothering to try??”

“I wish I wasn’t so clumsy! Why can’t I be more elegant and graceful, like Janet?”

Does any of that sound familiar to you? That was my inner voice, several years ago. That was the voice in my head, constantly nagging, putting myself down, wishing I was different, better, smarter, stronger, more spiritual. Wishing I was anyone but who I am.

The most meaningful lesson I learned from being at death’s door is that unless I love myself, nothing else in my life can function at its best. The amount of depth, meaning, and joy I experience in my life is in direct proportion to how much love I have for myself. The amount of love, kindness, patience I have for others is also directly proportional to how much love, patience and kindness I have for myself, because we cannot give others what we ourselves do not have. And, unsurprisingly, the amount of love, respect, support, and compassion I receive from others is also in direct proportion to how much of the same I have for myself.

Many of us are taught from a young age to “love our neighbors as we love ourselves”. But what if we don’t love ourselves? What if we are our own worst enemy, and our own harshest critic? If we treat others as we treat ourselves, then are we judging everyone else with the same harsh brush that we are using to paint ourselves? Is this why there are more people on our planet obsessed with trying to condemn anyone who is different, instead of learning to embrace everyone who shares our earth, and rejoice in our differences?

Learning to love others begins with learning to love ourselves unconditionally first. This seems to be a well-kept secret, which no one taught me as I was growing up. On the contrary, I was encouraged from a young age to put myself last, that it is selfish to love ourselves, or put ourselves first. In fact, I used to give and give of myself, without tending to my own needs, to the point that I became so drained it started to affect my health. Continuing in this vein, I constantly believed that I needed to work on myself because I wasn’t good enough as I am. So I continued to work on being “better”, kinder, more “loving”, more “spiritual”. I was always judging myself because I never felt I made the mark.

And then I got cancer. In fact, I didn’t just get cancer, I nearly died from cancer! But my cancer was the greatest gift I could ever have. Nearly dying taught me how to live. My cancer taught me the importance of loving and valuing myself unconditionally for who I am – a perfect being of the Universe, who is worthy and deserving of love, without needing to prove myself, better myself or change myself in any way. I became aware that I am someone who has a right to express my uniqueness with abandon.

I now also understand that I don’t have to work at being spiritual. Being spiritual is who we are, at our core, whether we realize it or not. It is our true nature, so we cannot NOT be spiritual! Being yourself and being spiritual are one and the same thing.

Because of my experience, I will never forsake myself ever again. I will never let myself down, treat myself like a doormat, or make myself small so others can feel big. I have learned that this is the biggest gift that I give not only to myself, but also to the planet, because I paint others with the same brush as I use on myself.

My life is much more joyful and meaningful now, and I have much more love to share with others than I ever did before, which I do unconditionally, and without draining myself. But most important, I now understand that if I do not express my authenticity, the Universe will be deprived of who I came here to be.

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Photo credit – Elena Berry via unsplash.com

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