The value of pain

“There will be a time, not so far from now, that you will look back on this phase of your life and instead of condemning it or beating up on it… instead of blaming or guilting, you will feel appreciation for it, because you will understand that a renewed desire for life was born out of this time period that will bring you to physical heights that you could not have achieved without the contrast that gave birth to this desire.”

– Abraham-Hicks

Excerpted from the workshop in Boston, MA on Saturday, October 4th, 1997.
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Every topic has an “unwanted” and a “wanted” – for example, when you see someone being rude (unwanted), you desire to see kind people (wanted), when you see poverty (unwanted), you desire to see prosperity (wanted), when you see illness (unwanted), there is a desire born within to see good health (wanted)….

Therefore, even though contrast (i.e. the presence of unwanted and wanted) may be painful but it has value as it helps you clarify your desires (i.e. what you want) in a much more stronger, sharper and clearer way than before that contrast and when you allow your desires, you allow yourself to grow into newer places – a more healthier you, a more prosperous you, you allow more of the kind of people you like in your life, a more vibrant you, a more energetic you…. If we were happy “100% of the time”, chances are the we won’t feel the desire for more, the desire to expand beyond where we are. Of course, the practice here is to focus as easily as you can, as per your path of least resistance, on the desire which life has helped inspire within you (out of that contrast) and therefore allow it. The practice here is pivoting to the desire which has been born within you because of the contrast and thereby, allowing it to manifest in your physical reality easily and in its full potential.

If you are going through contrast and feeling negative emotion (esp. in the initial stages of giving birth to the desire to see/live what you want), a few things can facilitate the ease you so want to feel – firstly, knowing that it’s okay to feel negative emotion. You are human and being kind towards yourself has value. Negative emotion is part of the inner guidance you were born with. All it’s doing is telling you that you have given birth to a desire and in the moments in which you are feeling negative emotion, you are not a match to your desire. What this means is that you want your desire because you believe that you will feel positive emotions when you manifest your desire but in the moments when you are feeling negative emotion, you are not feeling what your desire feels like, what you believe your desire will make you feel once it manifests in your physical reality and therefore, the negative emotion is telling you that as of that moment, you are not a match to your desire. There is a separation between you and your desire, vibrationally in the moments of negative emotion, however justified the negative emotion may be. You may be right but you are not happy and happy is what you want to be (that is why you want what you desire…it is that feeling that you are targeting through your desire).

The law of attraction states – “like attracts like” which means you got to feel what your desire will make you feel once it manifests in order for it to manifest easily. The part which requires a little effort initially is to feel the same or similar feelings as that of one’s desire even though it has not yet manifested. The good news is that you can.

As per your unique path of least resistance, whenever you feel ready, you can do things which make you feel good (which, as written earlier, is the also the reason you want your desire i.e. to feel good). If you can focus on your desire and feel good, that’s great but for many people, this may be difficult esp. in the initial stages which is pretty understandable. We are all human and its of value to be kind towards ourselves. A suggestion here is that if you can’t go specific, go general i.e. focus on topics which may not be connected to the topic of your specific desire but are easy for you to feel good about. These can be – meditating, indulging in a hobby, thinking about pleasant memories, taking a walk next to nature, getting a relaxing massage, having a warm relaxing bath, talking with a trustworthy and supportive friend etc – something which resonates with you and hence is easy for you to do and makes you feel good. Once you are feeling good consistently and predominantly, chances are high that you will be able to focus on the specific topic of your desire in a way that makes you feel better about it – i.e. now you are being a match to your desire.

I must share that many times, as you go general, you will allow the specific desire that you have to manifest in your physical reality even though you were not focusing specifically on it. This happens because just by feeling good (in general and ways that are easy for you), you became a match to your desire but just in case, it hasn’t yet manifested even though you are practicing your positive feeling thoughts throughout the day every day, chances are high that at some point (as per your unique and beautiful path of least resistance), you would be feeling ready to go specific and find things to feel good about in that specific situation/contrast of yours, thereby being a match to the desire within you. How much time will it take to become a match depends on two things – what is happening within you vibrationally and how committed you are to feeling good everyday throughout the day.

In all this, it is of value to remember these words from Abraham-Hicks – “you will never get it done and you cannot get it wrong”. You will always be giving birth or amending desires. It’s an eternal journey and it’s also unique with no right or wrong. Each one of us is eternal consciousness and in this eternal, ever expanding and boundaryless universe, each one of us has our own beautiful and individual journey. Knowing that this process will always be there (i.e. giving birth to desires) can help in your allowing ease for yourself along the journey, in making peace with what gives you pain, in enjoying the journey to allowing all that life has helped inspiring within you and therefore taking you further beyond where you were earlier to the contrast. We cannot help but grow into more, the question is – are you going to go along with your growth (by being a match to it, vibrationally) or are you going to keep yourself apart from your own growth/desire?

Also knowing that it is contrast which helps you to grow and expand further beyond where you have been before that contrast (and therefore, has value) helps to find thoughts of relief about it, whenever you are ready to. An example here – the desire for good health is stronger in a person after he has been sick as compared to before that sickness. As he allows his desire, coming out of this contrast, by being a match to it, he manifests even better health levels in his life. Now even science is recognizing the mind-body connection, something that healers across centuries have known.

A question can arise here – What are you expanding into? To answer this question, I am sharing yet another Abraham-Hicks quote below –

“Do you understand that what you’re creating is YOU?
You’re not creating money, you’re creating a more prosperous YOU.
You’re creating a more abundant YOU.
You’re creating a YOU with greater ease. You’re creating a YOU with greater opportunity.
You’re creating a YOU with greater opportunity for more fun. It’s YOU. You are the expander of YOU.
You are the creator of YOU, you see.”

Out of the very situation which is painful, something which pleases you will come out and you will be able to experience it with your physical senses when you allow it by being a match to it. In the moments of pain, you may not be able to see what good will come out if it but knowing that this is the way the creation (and allowing) of life experiences happens helps in finding thoughts of ease, as and when you feel ready to, which further helps in allowing your growth, your expansion into more.

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Photo credit – Suzanne D. Williams via unsplash.com